Baby, no
by Ananiliax
Summary: Bones has a bitter, heartfelt confrontation with a woman from his past. Could she forgive him? Could he forgive himself? How will they handle five years of deep space exploration together? McCoyxOC post Into Darkness.
1. Chapter 1

**This idea began swimming around in my head and I just couldn't seem to leave it be. It will probably only be a one shot, but I _do_ have the beginnings of a story line worked out if anyone is interested. This is my first time publishing anything on this website (though I am quite the lurker) so I'm still getting used to the layout. I hope you enjoy the story, it's rough, completely unedited and unresearched, and well, that's it. Live long and prosper.**

"Lina!" Leonard "Bones" McCoy repeated for the umpteenth time as he pounded on the worn, wooden door. He could hear muffled movements on the other side and knew good and well that the woman he sought was only a few inches from him, lingering with her hand on the locked handle.

"Lina," McCoy said again, softer this time, knowing she could hear him, "Damnit, Lina, let me in. Please." He could practically feel her through the door, he could see her with his mind's eye. Her blonde curls would be swept up in a messy bun, a few falling loose to frame her angelic face and though Lina's face would be a portrait of anger, McCoy knew her blue eyes were glistening with unshed tears. Tears he'd caused, long ago.

"Damnit, woman," McCoy grumbled to himself as he turned up his coat collar against the chill of the autumn night, feeling a little too much like a fool for his liking. Except, he just couldn't help it.

There was a time when the woman on the other side of that door had been the light of his life, when Lina Darnell had been his first thought in the morning and his last before sleep claimed him each night. Lina Darnell had been his best friend and he'd loved her, he just hadn't realized how much until it was far too late. By the time it hit him he was already standing at the altar with her sister.

This sure as hell wasn't how he had pictured spending the small amount of shore leave he was granted before the Enterprise set sail on her five year mission, standing outside in the cold San Francisco air, let alone at nearly one in the morning, begging the woman whose heart he broke to see him. It definitely wasn't Leonard McCoy's idea of a good time. But he had to try.

He'd gone out with Kirk and Scotty the night before to a local dive for drinks after Kirk gave one hell of a speech, though Bones went much against his will. Even still, being ignored in the middle of the night, he was glad he had. He'd been nursing a whiskey, not really paying attention to Scotty's ramblings about the new and improved warp core (God only knows whose bed Jim had wandered off to) when he'd spotted her.

McCoy hadn't been able to believe his eyes at first and blamed the whiskey as he took a double take. And then a third. And damned if it wasn't Lina Darnell, Lina who he hadn't seen since, well, since the day he married that soul sucking she-devil Jocelyn. But sure enough, there she was, sitting idly on a bar stool with a foot stretched out, obviously saving the one next to hers for someone. God, had she always been that beautiful? Even from across the dim, crowded bar he could see the way her eyes lit up when she smiled, the way her curls bounced with her shoulders when she laughed. She hadn't aged a day in nine years.

He'd wondered where she'd gone, what had become of her. Even though her sister had had his heart in a vice at the time, Lina was still his closest friend in the world and the pain of losing her due to his hellish sham of a marriage had haunted him ever since, all together hardening him to the idea of love. Still, seeing her there, McCoy couldn't help but smile when it dawned on him that he should have known all along where she was. She'd always wanted to see California.

Almost as if Lina felt McCoy's dark eyes on her, she turned in her stool. He watched her scan the crowd until her eyes locked onto him. It pained Bones to watch her smile melt from that lovely face, to see pain and memory flood her ocean blue orbs. Her mouth parted slightly and she looked like she was on the verge of hyperventilating. He knew as he watched her slight form fleeing the bar that he had to find her. He couldn't just let her go. Again.

"Lina, Baby, I'm sorry," he murmured against the door, "I should have listened to you, I should have gone with you when you begged me to, I should have-"

"Go _away_, Leonard," Lina's muffled voice spat, the venom in her tone not lost in the wooden barrier between them.

She'd obviously reacted violently to his old pet name for her and Bones couldn't even say that he blamed her. But time, heartache, and distance couldn't change that Lina would, in some way, always be his baby. As much as he hated to admit it.

"Lina, it's been _nine_ years, will you at least talk to me?" McCoy didn't like the desperation in his voice any more than he liked the unadulterated fury in hers.

McCoy had been standing there for so long that when the lock _clicked_ and the latch turned, he could have sworn it was all in his mind. And then the door swung open, revealing Lina in very much the state he imagined her to be in. She leaned against the frame, her face sculpted into anger, though puffy from crying. Something she had obviously done a great deal of lately.

"How did you even find me?" Lina demanded tiredly, crossing her arms over her chest as she did so.

"Phone book," McCoy answered lamely, "they're still a thing, you know."

Lina stared at him for a long, hard moment, as if she were trying to dissect him with her eyes. He felt like a frog under the icy azure scalpel of her gaze, "Well, it's cold." Lina muttered finally, stepping aside to allow Bones inside, "Come in before you freeze."

"I'm already frozen," Bones mumbled as he shuffled inside the warmth of Lina's small apartment.

She ignored him as she took a seat on large, far too bright, red sofa and propped her feet on the coffee table in front of it.

"Fire," she murmured, a soft smile gracing her lips when the fireplace became shrouded in warm, orange flame.

McCoy watched her for a long moment, watching the way the flames danced off her hair, reflected in her eyes. It reminded him of the warm Georgia sunsets they'd watched as youngsters in Medical School together.

"Lina," her name escaped his lips in a breath as he sat in the chair across from her.

"Leonard," Lina cut him off with a sad smile, a single tear sliding down her bronzed face, "I told you. I told you she who she was and what she was like. I told you she'd leave you with nothing but your bones."

McCoy decided to refrain from telling her that he was actually known as 'Bones' now. "I know you did, Baby."

"You don't get to call me 'Baby' anymore, Leonard," Lina ground out, though the anger on her face faded to an agonized mixture of regret and memory.

"I can't help it," he admitted solemnly, wiping his face with his large, calloused hands. "I've missed you, Lina. I've worried about you."

Lina's dark laugh drew his attention to where she sat, her tears flowing freely now. "I could've sworn you loved me once," she mused as she stood and crossed to the mantle, pouring herself a drink from the bottle of whiskey that perched there. She offered one to McCoy and to both of their surprise, he declined.

He didn't realize it until now, but he had been waiting for this moment for a long time, he'd been itching deep down in the pit of his soul to make things right. And now that he was here, doing just that, he wanted to feel all of it.

Lina, feeling quite the opposite, downed her glass in a single gulp before plopping back down on the sofa.

"Hell only knows how much I love you," she continued after a long moment, either not realizing or not caring that she had failed to use the pass tense of love. "You were always there for me, you made me feel safe and wanted, you even helped me get into medical school," Lina took a break to wipe her eyes before she continued adding onto the guilt Bones had suppressed for years. "You hurt me," she sobbed finally.

It didn't take much to rebreak his heart all over again. Lina peered up at him with those big, blue, tear soaked eyes and he was done for. He knew what she was trying to spit out. It was her last year of medical school and she had been chosen to study for a year off planet in an Andorian hospital station.

She had been over the moon excited, mainly just because Lina had always had a fascination with space. Even when they were young kids and Lina would grow tired of her father's often physical wrath and she would sneak out of her bedroom window and meet him every night in a field close to both of their homes and lie there, watching the stars until she would fall asleep curled up next to him on an itchy bed of wheat.

Bones had been excited for her, knowing it was one of Lina's dreams to spend time in Space. When she'd shown McCoy the letter his heart had become so swollen with pride for her that took took her into his arms, twirling Lina as he held her against him.

It wasn't until he'd returned her small feet to the floor that their eyes truly met and it dawned on him that he wouldn't be seeing those eyes for an entire year. She'd be gone and in space, no less. Space was a darkness and disease, he couldn't stand the thought of it, even back then. Before his mind became too clouded with the images of exploding shuttles, McCoy crashed his lips down onto hers, his hands knotting in her soft curls as he kissed her. A soft moan escaped Lina, her small hands winding their way up to cradle the back of his neck as she returned his embrace. They fell into bed much the same way, and didn't bother to leave it for the next two days.

Bones could still feel her soft lips against hers, the feeling withstanding the tests of the years. He'd been so stupid to let Jocelyn in. That damned harpy woman had probably cost him what could have been the happiest years of his life and he could see that Lina was thinking the exact same thing.

"I missed you," he offered quietly, unnerved to find hot tears stinging the back of his eyes, "I missed you so much. Hell, I'd never been without you for more than two days before you left- Damnit woman, let me finish," he scolded as Lina had been about to interrupt him, "I _know_ it wasn't an excuse. But even though you hated your sister Lina, she reminded me of you in so many ways. When she found me in that old dive trying to have a life without you, she pulled me right in."

"But I came back," Lina argued weakly, anger slowly regaining its hold of her soft features, "I came home expecting to run into your arms and instead I find my sister shoving a fucking meteor sized diamond in my face, Leonard."

Lina stood, pacing the room in her frustration. "You knew how I felt about my sister, you knew how she treated me, and I leave for one year and what do you do?"

"I fell in love with that she-devil," Leonard answered quietly, taking Lina aback in his honesty. "I didn't want to. Didn't mean to. But I did and it's haunted me every waking moment of my life since then, Ba-Lina," he corrected her name hurriedly, standing from his chair, "I was a weak target and she knew it, just like you said."

"She asked me to be her maid of honor," Lina spat as she nearly slammed into Bones, having been to fervid in her pacing to notice he'd stood.

She didn't fight him when he moved to steady her, didn't brushed his hands away from her shoulders as he held her. Lina peered up at the doctor with haunted eyes and Bones couldn't stop himself from wiping the tears away from her face with the pad of his thumb. His heart hurt, every inch of him quivered in agony. The woman he held still loved him with everything in her, she had trusted him. And all he did was break her.

"And when I wouldn't do it, she made you ask me for her. She knew I wouldn't say no to you."

Bones had been furious with himself when he first realized the motivation behind Jocelyn's actions had been purely to hurt Lina, he was outraged to know he had played a part in her pettiness. The anger he felt then did not even begin to compare to the pure rage that coursed in him now that he had Lina once again in his arms, confessing her anguish to him. Bones felt the pressure threatening to break him.

That had been the last time he saw Lina. She'd quit medical school, packed her things, and hauled ass without a word to anyone right after the wedding. Bones wondered idly if she even changed out of her bridesmaid dress before she skipped town.

"I should have listened to you," he murmured beside her ear, placing a soft kiss to Lina's temple as a tear of his own fell. "I should have run away with you as soon as you stepped off that shuttle from Andoria."

"But you didn't," Lina reminded him grimly a small smile gracing her lips even through her tears.

"I know, I let you down. The one person that truly loved me, I failed." Bones' voice was laced with self loathing as he peered down at the angel in his arms, wondering how he could have ever likened the snake he now knew Jocelyn to be to Lina.

Jocelyn had never been content, with anything. He saw now that he had merely been a pawn in her vengeful game of spite against her younger sister. McCoy worked 72 hour shifts to ensure that Jocelyn had the best of everything and never wanted for anything, yet she always made him feel guilty for being too absent in their relationship. When he took time off to be with her, she complained that there wasn't enough money to support her lifestyle. But Lina, the ethereal beauty he clutched to desperately, she had spent hours with him in the university library as he poured over medical texts in preparations for exams. She never disturbed him, never pawed for his attention. She merely sat with him because she enjoyed his company and knew he enjoyed hers. She was selfless. And he'd let her go while the woman he married took everything he built and worked for away from him.

"Damnit woman, why are you smiling?" McCoy demanded when he returned from his memories of the distant past to find Lina smiling up at him.

Gently, she trailed her long slender fingers across the small silver emblem embossed on the left side of his chest. "Starfleet," she replied simply.

"I'm senior medical officer aboard the USS Enterprise," he told her with a quirked brow.

"You hate flying."

"Trust me, I know," he replied flatly, though a small smile crept onto his lips as well.

God he'd missed her. He hadn't realized how much, but with her there in his arms, Bones felt a wholeness in his chest that he hadn't even known he was missing. She completed him, she always had. And he'd been too stupid to see it.

"Let me back into your life," he begged her quietly, crushing her against him. Bones rested his chin on top of Lina's head, unwilling to look down and see the refusal in her eyes, "Give me a chance to be anything."

"Not that I have much choice," he could hear the smile in her voice and a warmth churned in his gut at the sound, "but how could I ever say no to you?"

Bones held her back so that he could peer at her face, "What do you mean 'have much choice'?"

Lina simply nodded to the black uniform draped over the back of the couch, "Lina Darnell, new senior security operative aboard the USS Enterprise," she replied in mock introduction.

"Well hell," Bones didn't even bother attempting to hide his delight from her as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. He couldn't help it, the action just came naturally to him with her. He didn't question why she had gone into security, he knew that would be a tale for another time. At that moment all Bones wanted was to feel Lina in his arms.

"Leonard?"

"Hmm?" He rested his head atop hers, allowing the scent of her hair and the warmth of the fire to lull him into the false reality of what he could have had.

"Please don't leave."

He looked down to see Lina peering up at him with hopeful eyes and it wrenched in his soul to see the weakness he had created in her. "No baby," he murmured dipping his head slightly. He placed a feather light kiss to her lips when she didn't back away from him, reveling in the sensation of her returning his affection. "Never again."


	2. Chapter 2

**Seriously? I did a thing and people **_**liked**_** it? I'm over the moon, guys! Well, I've decided to turn it into a story, mainly just to get it **_**out of my head**_**. Also, I made slight changes to chapter one, mainly involving the timeline. Rather than thirteen years passing since the last time they met it's only been nine. The story will explore their past together and their adventures on the USS Enterprise during her five year mission. Thanks for reading guys, it means the world! If you have the time, review and let me know what you think! **

**XoXo**

**One Week Earlier**

Lina sighed and fell onto her annoyingly bright red couch with an unceremonious plop. She hadn't bothered changing out of her sleeping clothes though she had been awake for hours now. There was no point, it wasn't as if she were going anywhere.

It had been two years since she had been dishonorably discharged from Starfleet, almost to the day even, and though she found work procuring antiques such as 20th century cars and DVDs for wealthy collectors, more often than not Lina found herself to be quite bored. The job paid well, but clients were far in between and Lina missed the security and routine of practicing medicine at Starfleet Medical.

Lina muttered to herself grumpily as she pulled her long, golden waves over one shoulder and began to braid them together. She missed space. She missed feeling important. Lina had been the chief medical officer aboard the USS Moffat before fate called her into the hands of one late Admiral Marcus.

A knock at the door drew Lina from her reverie, quite fortunately, as her thoughts of Marcus often led to holes being punched in her walls and broken bottles of bourbon to be cleaned up later.

Lina straightened her sweater and checked her reflection before opening the door. The list of people that knew her home address could be counted on one hand and none of them were people she wanted to see whilst in her pajamas. She immediately relaxed upon peering through the peephole (she did love that ancient door of hers) and swung the door open to reveal a slightly nervous Commander Spock.

The Vulcan raised a quizzical brow at her appearance and Lina could have sworn she saw a slight upward tilt at the corners of his mouth. "Good afternoon, Lina. I hope I have not disturbed you?"

Lina smiled warmly at her old friend and moved aside to accommodate his entrance, "Please come in, Spock, it's been too long."

The science officer entered with a tip of his head, following Lina inside her dwelling to the den where he took a seat opposite her on the atrocious red couch. To anyone else, Spock was a portrait of Vulcan control. To Lina, whom had known him since their freshman year in the academy, he looked a nervous wreck.

"What's the matter, Spock?" Lina inquired finally after watching him for a long moment. If the anxiousness in his features wasn't enough to alert Lina to her friend's troubles, his appearance on her doorstep certainly was an indicator.

The two hadn't seen each other since her discharge from the fleet.

"It occurred to me that I had not yet apologized for my actions during your court martial," Spock replied simply. "I should have had more trust in your word."

Lina waved her hand dismissively, "To be fair, my word did sound crazy."

"It doesn't seem so now," Spock replied quietly. His eyes, usually so dark and reserved, were remorseful as he beheld her. "You were right about Admiral Marcus. You knew before anyone what was happening right in front of us."

Lina said nothing for a long moment as she recalled the day the council had stripped her of all of her hard earned accomplishments. And the events that led up to it, for that matter.

Lina had been specifically recruited by Admiral Marcus for the mission that doomed her, he'd even come to collect her himself.

"_Lina Darnell, transferred to Starfleet from a Mississippi University, graduated top of your class in Medicine, excelled in hand to hand combat, and history," the Admiral glanced up as he absently read her transcript to her from his PADD._

_Like she didn't already know what was in it._

"_Admiral, may I speak freely?" Lina crossed her arms in the shuttle seat as she peered at the older man._

"_I recommend it."_

"_What exactly am I doing here?" Lina gestured to the shuttle around them, headed for God only knew where. "You haven't told me my mission, where we are going, what-"_

"_You also wrote a rather well informed dissertation on cryogenics," The Admiral interrupted quietly, yet the undertones of his voice told Lina that it would best for her to cease talking._

_She nodded. "Yes sir."_

"_Lina, one week ago we came across an abandoned shuttle drifting in the Lorenchian system," the Admiral began as the shuttle came to a steady land. He stood and offered her his hand before continuing his tale, "inside we found several cryotubes. All of them empty with the exception of one."_

"_Cryotubes?" Lina raised an uncertain brow as the Admiral led her into an unmarked building somewhere in the heart of London. "But we haven't needed to freeze anybody since we developed warp capability."_

_Realization dawned on her and excitement took over Lina's features though she attempted to school them into a mask of ease in front of the Admiral. He noticed anyway._

"_I knew the historian in you would love this opportunity," The Admiral offered her a small smile as he guided her down a long, stark white hallway. He paused outside the only door, his hand lingering on the handle._

"_To see an ancient being?" Lina beamed, "Yes, I very much am, sir."_

"_That's not all, Ms. Darnell. " The Admiral told her as he pushed the door open revealing a well equipped medical lab, a lone light shining down on a large, silver tube in the room's center. "I want you to wake him up."_

_And she did so. Lina was responsible for the awakening and rehabilitation of the one known as Khan Noonien Singh, an augment leader from the time of the Eugenics Wars. Lina, in her ignorant bliss, had believed they had awoken Khan to study him, to learn from him. _

_She soon learned that she had been gravely mistaken. _

"_Where are they?" her patient managed weakly as he became more lucid, her arm reaching out and grasping onto her wrist._

"_Shh, don't strain yourself," Lina cautioned gently, trying to loosen the man's grip on her arm, "where is who?"_

"_My crew," the man answered with impressive force, force that a man whom had been frozen for over three hundred years should not have been able to muster._

"_Ah, good, you've awoken," the Admiral's voice from the doorway drew Lina's concentration. "Dr. Darnell, I think that will be enough for today."_

"_But admiral, he's only just awoken," Lina protested, "he needs to monitored, he could crash any moment."_

_The admiral ordered her from the room, an order that Lina had regretted following ever since._

_Over the following weeks, Lina's access to her patient became more and more restricted and she was only allowed to visit Khan, she learned his name to be, with a heavy security presence._

"_Doesn't it bother you?" the augment purred, his baritone voice right beside her ear as Lina scanned his vitals._

"_Many things bother me, Mr. Singh," Lina replied simply. "To which do you refer?"_

"_That your Admiral Marcus exploits you so easily." The man's turquoise eyes pierced through her as their gazes me, his lips curled up into a serpentine smile. "He does the same to me."_

"_How does the admiral exploit you, Mr. Singh? What does he want from you?" Lina forced her lips into a tight line and strangely the man seemed impressed by her refusal to be frightened of him._

"_My savagery. He holds my family hostage in exchange for my compliance."_

"_What family?" Lina set her medical scanner upon the table, waving away a security guard as he approached. "You were found alone."_

"_I was found with seventy-two others," Khan replied simply, "Go and ask your admiral, Lina. See what he has to say."_

_Lina felt cold, perhaps from being trapped under her patient's icy gaze for so long. In his cold eyes she saw pain, truth._

Lina cleared her throat, bringing herself back to the present. "I should let him sleep," she said finally.

"Marcus would have found a way to carry out his plan," Spock assured her, "with or without your help. I am only sorry that I did not defend you more fiercely."

"You said it yourself, Spock," Lina shrugged, willing the memory away, "given my background a 'mental breakdown' was logical."

"Yes, but I now see that Marcus forged such documents to discredit you should you try to reveal his actions to anyone else." The Vulcan turned to face her, "Lina, I am deeply remorseful that I did not believe you."

Even after Lina placed her hand upon his, assuring him her forgiveness, the Vulcan did not relax. Lina smiled, narrowing her eyes at her old friend, "I knew you didn't stop by for an apology," her southern drawl wrapped around each accusatory syllable.

The corners of Spock's mouth twitched. "I do have one ulterior motive," he concurred flatly, making Lina chuckle.

"Which is?"

"The Starfleet high command is, regrettably, considering that Starfleet become militarized," he explained, anger showing through his Vulcan resolve.

"That's ridiculous!" Lina spat, "Starfleet is a humanitarian force!"

"Precisely why I am perturbed," Spock agreed, "I have convinced the high command to hold off on their decision until the Enterprise returns from her five year exploration," Spock continued, "to which they, surprisingly, agreed. On one condition."

Lina said nothing, only raising a brow in her friend's direction.

"Their condition being such that the Enterprise have a trained, highly qualified security operative accompany the crew on all missions to document new and possibly violent civilizations and defend the captain and crew at all times."

"A baby sitter?" Lina frowned in distate, "Basically a body guard that writes reports, is what you're describing."

"In a sense," Spock agreed, taking Lina by surprise as he grabbed her hand in his, "Lina, I know that you as well I do not want Starfleet to become a militarized force. I know that you will perform admirably. Should you take this five year position it would guarantee a fully apology from the high command, as well as full reinstatement and the return of your medical license."

"Spock, I don't know," Lina began warily, "I've been out of the game for two years now."

"Are you saying that you have no desire to return to space?" Spock's sharp brow nearly disappeared into his bangs.

"Of course I do!" Lina scoffed. The two friends eyed each other for a long moment before Lina finally sighed. "I don't have to wear the red shirt do I?"

Spock straightened on the couch, "Negative, Lina."

"And you can guarantee my medical license will be reinstated?"

"I already have," Spock replied simply. "Along with any claims of mental illness in your file being expunged."

Lina shifted in her seat, gnawing on her lip as she considered it. Well, pretended to consider it. "Okay, Spock. I'm in."

"Excellent," Spock replied flatly as he stood. "Report to Headquarters at 0800 tomorrow."

**Present**

Lina rolled over, stretching wildly as the morning sun filtered in through window, landing without mercy on her pillow. It dawned on her sleep muddled mind mid stretch that she hadn't actually moved. It felt like she had an iron bar strapping her in place where she lay on her side, at least that's how her clouded brain reasoned her predicament. Pushing some sleep matted curls away from her eyes, Lina nearly screamed to find another face only inches away from her own.

In her surprise Lina toppled from the bed in a heap of blonde curls and grumbles, to which the only response from the bed's other occupant was a defiant snore as he rolled onto his other side.

Fully awake, Lina hoisted herself up onto the edge of the bed, wiping the sleep away from her arctic eyes as she gazed at the broad, tanned back peering back at her. Lina groaned, though she was thankful to realize upon looking down that she was still fully clothed.

_So last night wasn't a dream_, she thought to herself as she sat on the floor, resting her head on the edge of bed. Part of her had wanted it to be a dream, she'd wanted to wake up alone and still clutching onto old anger. But, well, she wasn't alone. And Lina didn't exactly know how to feel.

Part of her wanted to crawl back into bed and snuggle as close to that back as she humanly could and yet, she also fought the urge to run far, far away.

As if sensing her inner turmoil, McCoy turned over in his sleep, smiling as he dreamed. His dark hair protested all gravity, sticking straight up in utter disarray as he snuggled further into his, well _her_, pillow.

Lina couldn't fight her smile and reached over to smooth down his unruly hair. He looked so young, so carefree as he slept. It reminded Lina of a time when they were still teenagers, before Jocelyn sank her soul-sucking fangs into him. He was so beautiful.

Lina found herself fighting back tears as she watched Leonard sleep, not caring at all how disturbed he would be to wake up and find her crying over his snoozing form. She'd missed him horribly, not a day had passed that she didn't. And _never_ had she ever stopped loving him, not even as she stood two feet away from as him as he whispered his vows to her arch nemesis, er, sister.

Lina wiped at her eyes and crawled back into her bed, sliding beneath the blankets at Leonard's side though she knew she would probably regret it later. She hated how weak he made her feel, she hated how she couldn't keep hating him. She certainly wanted to. She had every right to. But Lina just couldn't. Not after he'd waited outside her door for an entire hour in the cold night, not knowing if she would ever answer, not after he'd confessed how he'd hurt, and held her even as she continued to blame him for hers.

Lina gently trailed her fingertips across Leonard's stubbled cheek as he snored next to her, a tear sliding down her cheek as he mumbled her name through his slumber. Part of her would always hate herself for abandoning him. She'd only seen her own pain and left him to suffer with Jocelyn alone.

At the time she hadn't cared but now that the anger inside her had quelled to a dull ache, Lina fought back a new wave of tears as her imagination besieged her with every awful thing he must have went through with no one else to turn to. He would have been lonely, abused even. Jocelyn had this way of tearing a man down to nothing, Lina had seen it many times before. The man next to her had worked himself to the bones to provide for that devil woman and then she'd taken it all from him. Lina had known it would happen and in her grief, she'd left him to it.

Her heart ached. Her head pounded. Her stomach churned. Lina had suffered heartache in the worst possible way and yet, so had he.

Leonard McCoy could have just let her flee that bar and left it that and yet he hadn't. He'd found her, stood outside her house, sat in her uncomfortable chair and poured his heart out to her, and taken her verbal onslaught and he'd done to attempt to make things right.

Lina was drawn from her thoughts by a large, calloused hand gently cupping her face and looked up to see Leonard's warm brown eyes fixed her, seeing only her. Tentatively, almost as if she would break if he moved too quickly, McCoy brushed her tears away with his thumb.

Neither of them said a word, the pair merely regarded each other for a long, silent moment, their combined breathing the only sound in the room. Lina felt his strong, muscled arm snake around her waist and didn't protest as McCoy pulled her against his chest, crushing her tight against him. He buried his face in her hair, breathing her name.

She clung to him desperately as if the contact could make up for their years of suffering. "It's okay," she breathed against his neck, "we're okay."

Leonard only held her tighter and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, not caring at all when one of Lina's curls poked him in the eye. He'd gladly sell his soul and the shirt off his back to be jabbed in the eye by that curl until the rest of his days if it meant holding Lina in his arms.

They stayed like that for a long while, neither of them caring as the minutes faded into an hour. Neither of them wanted to be the first to speak, nor the first to move and though the question of their relationship hung heavily in the air, begging for answers, they refused to breech the subject. Neither Leonard nor Lina could bare to break the nearly perfect moment.

Until Bones' communicator filled their ears with its incessant beeping. Bones cursed, grumbling to himself as he reluctantly released Lina to retrieve the offending device.

"Damnit Jim, I'm a doctor not your babysitter," Bones muttered into the device as he flipped it open, "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Yeah, I do," another voice replied haughtily, "It's nearly one in the afternoon and time to report to HQ. Where are you anyway? You were supposed to accompany me and Spock to receive our Security Operative."

Lina cursed silently at that last part. Between the night before and that morning, she had completely forgotten about reporting to Captain Kirk that afternoon.

Bones watched her unashamedly as she slipped from the bed, a boyish grin taking over his face as she dashed down the hall to retrieve her uniform from that ugly old couch of her.

"BONES!" Jim's voice beckoned him back to reality.

"I'm comin', I'm comin'," Bones grumbled into the receiver as he climbed out of Lina's bed. "Don't twist yourself in a knot. I bet the operative isn't even there yet," he added smugly for his own benefit, earning himself a sharp look from Lina as she reentered the room looking quite the site for sore eyes in her black commander's uniform.

"No, he's not," Kirk admitted in a frustrated sigh before his voice lightened considerably, "Nevermind, _she's_ not here, according to Spock."

Bones rolled his eyes and snapped the communicator shut at the excitement in Jim's voice. Of course he would be excited about a new woman on board.

"I suppose we should arrive separately," Bones ventured when Lina failed to.

She offered his reflection a small smile as she plaited her hair in a neat braid, "It would probably be best," she agreed, not bothering to look away as he retrieved his shirt from the floor and pulled it over his head.

"Pervert," he chided lightly, catching her state.

"Exhibitionist," she retorted, pretending to roll the tensions of sleep away from her shoulders to avoid the thought of his broad, chiseled chest hiding just beneath that shirt.

"Can I see you later?" His deep southern drawl was serious, hopeful as McCoy came to stand behind her. "Please?"

Lina refrained from telling him that he would see her again in less than fifteen minutes. She certainly wanted to see him again, now that she'd let him back in Lina found herself unwilling to let him go at any cost. Still, a voice clawed at the back of her conscience, warning her, nagging her that she would soon be hurt again. Gnawing on her bottom lip as she considered it, Lina nodded despite the negative voice in the back of her mind. "Tonight?"

Leonard gave her a genuine smile as he bent to press a soft kiss to her cheek, sending shivers raking down her spine, "Tonight," he agreed before sweeping from the room, leaving Lina considerably warmer than she would have liked.

_Damnit, Man._


	3. Chapter 3

**Please see the Author's Note at the bottom.**

"_Can you believe that only two hundred years ago only a couple of dozen people had ever been to space?"_

_Lina's sky coloured eyes gazed upward, entranced by the starry expanse far above. Her little arms were wrapped tightly around her knees as she drew herself in to avoid shivering in the chilly night air. "Isn't that amazing? How far we've come?"_

_Leonard rolled his eyes and grabbed the extra jacket he always brought just for her as the damned girl could never be bothered to grab one before she climbed from her bedroom window nearly every night. You'd think that after years of late nights in that old field, she would have learned. Maybe she had, he reasoned, she learned that he would always bring one for her._

_She gave him a small smile as he draped it over her small shoulders, welcoming the warmth. "I'm gonna be there one day, Leonard."_

"_In space?" Leonard raised a brow, eyeing Lina as if she'd just grown an extra head. "Space is a dark, icy death waiting to claim anyone dumb enough to test it," Leonard grumbled, mostly to himself as he knew Lina wouldn't falter in her resolve._

"_You remind me of space," Lina replied simply, settling in to their wallowed out wheat bed so that she lay next to him._

"_I'm cold and diseased?" Leonard snorted, rolling his eyes, "thanks, baby."_

_Lina swatted his shoulder, an action which didn't seem to bother him in the least, "I meant you're full of greatness, jerk."_

_McCoy said nothing for a long moment and settled for simply watching Lina as the wind ruffled her golden hair. Somewhere in their time together as friends, somewhere between the late nights and long talks, somewhere between the jokes and the fights, somewhere perhaps in a little moment like the one they lived in now, it dawned on him that Lina had changed. She wasn't the same little girl that hid behind him and spoke only to him anymore, she wasn't a haphazard tangle of knees and elbows topped by unruly curls. Somewhere in all those years, she'd grown into a young woman, and a fine one at that. He reasoned that was why he'd began losing thoughts and words around her, more and more often as it seemed. Because while Lina had always tugged on his heartstrings, it seemed now that every time she spoke she grasped them tight, securing his attention like reins on a broken thoroughbred._

"_There's so much more to you than everyone ever gets to see, Leonard," Lina said softly, gently saving him from his own thought as she began tracing small patterns on his arm with her fingertips. He didn't need to look down to know that she was tracing the winter constellations, "There's so much hidden wonder, so much power in you. And you don't even realize it."_

"Bones!"

McCoy glanced up at Jim's voice, straightening his formal uniform as he ascended the steps to Starfleet headquarters. His living quarters were, thankfully, on the way and so he had been able to stop in for a quick change before rushing to the HQ.

McCoy vaguely remembered Jim mentioning it the night before that he wanted the doctor to accompany him to receive their newest crew member. McCoy had, of course, grumbled but agreed nonetheless. In truth, he'd follow that dumb bastard anywhere. In the short time they'd known each other Jim Kirk had proved to be an admirable captain and an even better friend.

"Where'd you run off to last night?" Jim grinned, clasping the doctor on the shoulder, searching for any sign that the older man had not returned home the night before. "You disappeared before the second round of drinks made it to the table!"

McCoy huffed, "I had somewhere to be, Jim. I'm busy, damnit."

Of course, his statement was meant to imply that he had been called to Starfleet medical when in reality his PADD had finally lit up with the address that he had spent all day looking for.

"You're no fun," Jim grumbled lightheartedly when McCoy failed to feed his curiosity.

After the traumatic events of the previous year, Starfleet Headquaters had been rebuilt even larger and grander than before. The building towered over San Francisco, an impressive castle of granite and glass. The two men navigated the expansive halls skillfully, travelling deep into the center of the building before they came to an empty conference hall.

The conference room itself was massive and stark white with large windows filtering in natural light though the glass kept the sunlight from becoming too obtrusive. Spock stood casually by one of the windows, observing the city below.

"Isn't this just a little dramatic?" Bones questioned upon taking in the conference room.

"Starfleet assigned the room to us for the afternoon," Kirk explained, running a worried hand through his hair, "I'm not pleased with any of it."

"We are fortunate," Spock turned from the window to greet his fellow crewman and friends, "that we have been allowed to choose our own operative, rather than having one assigned to us in our journeys."

"I don't see why we need one to begin with," Kirk argued, a frustrated sigh escaping his lips, "many of our crewman are trained in hand to hand combat, we have security teams, and who writes a report better than you, Spock?"

Bones glanced around the room anxiously, suddenly glad that he had tracked Lina down the night before. Coming face to face with her in a conference room, in front of Spock and Kirk would have been, to say the least, awkward. Hellishly awkward. McCoy cringed at the thought.

"The operative's objective is to provide an outsider's perspective into our voyages. To report without bias so that the High Command will be better prepared to decide the fate of the Federation."

"The Federation is a humanitarian and peace keeping organization," Kirk sighed, frustrated with Spock's need to explain everything. "It should remain that way."

"I agree, Captain Kirk," a woman's voice replied quietly.

All three men swiveled to face the doorway, none of them having noticed the petite blonde had slipped in.

"My goal is to ensure it remains that way."

Lina Darnell stood straight with her arms clasped behind her back. At barely three inches over five feet, she didn't look imposing in the least and had adopted the stance of a soldier as if to consolidate her lack of brute strength. Her icy eyes surveyed the room, taking special care not to linger on McCoy for more than a moment, an action that he took note of.

To Kirk she was mesmerizing, he could tell by the sight of her that she would be stubborn and too wild to tame. He admired the air of regality about her, the proud way in which she stood. He saw a female counterpart of himself.

To Spock, she was a portrait of reluctance. She, too, was haunted by the memories of Khan. She, too, sought to regain control of her life. He knew they were caught in a vicious cycle, one that they had to complete in order for Lina to regain some normalcy and for the Enterprise to retain hers.

McCoy, however, was torn between wanting to inject Kirk with a sedative to keep his eager eyes off of Lina and wanting to whisk her away, somewhere far away where she would never have to adopt that stance ever again. He saw a woman haunted by her past, a woman that had been scarred many times fighting her own battles. He was proud of her, his Lina, but part of him ached. There was a time when he protected her, when she counted on him to do so. Reluctantly, he tore his gaze away.

After a moment, Jim seemed to regain some sense and held out his hand to the room's newest addition, "Jim Kirk," he purred, offering his most dazzling smile.

McCoy visibly rolled his eyes behind Kirk's head, an action that did not go unnoticed by Spock whom raised a quizzical brow towards the doctor.

"Lina Darnell," Lina replied coolly, offering the captain a small smile as she took his hand, "I do apologize for my tardiness."

"Nonsense," the captain exclaimed, "a lady is never late! She arrives precisely when she means to."

"A lady can still mean to arrive in a less than timely manner," The Vulcan behind Jim began only to be interrupted by a glance from Jim.

"Spock," Lina greeted him with a wide smile, "it is good to see you, my dear friend."

It was then McCoy's turn to raise a brow at the science officer though he bit back a reply. _Dear friend_, he grumbled internally.

"It has been too long," Spock replied simply, stepping slightly out of character to clasp Lina's hand in his own for a brief moment before turning to the doctor, "As Doctor McCoy seems hesitant to introduce himself, I shall do so. Lina, this is Leonard McCoy, the chief medical officer aboard the Enterprise."

"Charmed," Lina held out her hand, not able to contain the smile in her eyes though her face was blank.

"Ma'am," McCoy took her hand briefly, not willing to say anything else. He found himself loathe to share his relationship with Lina, whatever their relationship was and though he knew it would eventually come out that they knew each other, he also knew it didn't have to be right then.

If the other men thought Bones' lack of response unusual they said nothing. After a moment of introductions, the group returned to the matter at hand.

"Mr. Kirk, I know this is inconvenient," Lina began, gesturing towards the large, glass table in the center of room where she took a seat soon followed by the others "and I am no more pleased about the details of my mission than you. However, I assure you that I will not interfere with the activities of your crew. I'm more than happy to simply stand in the shadows and fill out every report as 'uneventful'. In truth, Mr. Kirk, I would not be here had Spock not asked it of me."

Kirk nodded as he scrolled through Lina's Starfleet history on his PADD, "It says here you're a doctor," he noted aloud, "so how does a doctor that served aboard the USS Moffat become recruited as a SecOp?"

"I'm also trained in eleven areas of hand to hand combat, Mr. Kirk. And I _was_ a doctor," Lina corrected bitterly, though she was pleased to note that any record of her mental breakdown had already been expunged from her record. "Currently, I'm an antiques dealer. Two years ago I was recruited by Admiral Marcus to awaken the man we now know as Khan. I was somewhat of an expert in cryogenics, you see. I did so," Lina admitted somewhat shamefully, "and when I saw how my patient was being exploited I confronted Marcus about it. To cover his tracks he forged incidences that would lead others to believe I had suffered a mental breakdown, to discredit me. I lost my license as a result."

"In exchange for full reinstatement and the return of her license, Dr. Darnell had agreed to accompany us," Spock reiterated though Kirk couldn't seem to lift his nose from Lina's file.

"Why would a doctor train in eleven styles of hand to hand combat?" Kirk questioned finally, his voice light was disbelief.

"So that she not only knows how to knock you on your ass, she can do it with as much or as little damage as she pleases," McCoy answered for her, knowing he was correct. She seemed so proud, so strong and resolved when she spoke. He was proud of her, it pleased him to know that Lina hadn't been defenseless in the last few years, and yet the notion haunted him. He hated to think of Lina walking alone at night, frightened in a strange city.

He was careful not to let any of his concern show on his face, though Bones wasn't quite sure how well that was working for him. Spock seemed to be eying him with a distinct air of satisfaction in those dark orbs of his.

_Green blooded hob goblin._

The answer seemed to please Kirk. "Pleasure to have you aboard, Ms. Darnell. Pack your bags," he told her with a wink, "we ship out in three days."

**I had to cut this chapter a tad short or else it would have been entirely too long if I included Bones' visit to Lina in this post. So, in order to avoid cutting them both short, I've separated them. The next post should be up tomorrow and will include plenty of confessions, angst, light fluff, and Leonard pestering Lina about her relationship with Spock. Also, thank you to everyone who has followed of favorited this story. I can't tell you how much that means! If you have the time, please review and let me know what you think! **

**Hugs and Kisses,**

**K.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to everyone that has followed or favorited this story! You guys warm my heart right up. :)**

Lina returned to her home in a daze, barely noticing the blurry uproar that was San Francisco, a slave to her own thoughts. Three days. She would be returning to space in a mere three days and though the notion thrilled her, Lina found herself weighed down by a sense of dread for though she knew the inner workings of a starship as well as she knew the back of her hand, she wasn't quite so certain that knew how to properly function on one when not fully employed in the medical bay.

She missed the thrill of it, the business that surrounded being CMO. You were never just a doctor when aboard a starship, no, you were the dentist, the therapist, the OBGYN, the podiatrist, and pediatrician. Hell, Lina had even served as a teddy bear 'doctor' once to the very distraught eight year old daughter of her former captain, Captain Lucas.

Though it pained her to imagine being aboard the Enterprise as anything but a doctor, Lina couldn't help but feel as if fate were smiling down on her. She'd her license stripped, her credibility tarnished, she'd spent six months in a correctional institute for the mentally insane, and none of that mattered now. The unjust, vicious spiral that Khan had transformed her life into had come full circle, as if it were not for the devastation and horrors he instilled so completely in the back of the high command's minds, Lina would have never been granted this chance, this redemption. Though she hated the man, she thanked him silently as she climbed the steps to her front door, typing her security code into the lock pad.

Stepping inside her home felt different today, it felt more final. Before her fall from grace, Lina had barely spent any time in the place and therefor, never bothered to decorate. In the last two years, however, she'd settled in. Slowly, she'd turned the small, two bedroom, one bathroom apartment into a home. Lina had always had an odd taste and often splurged to surround herself with objects and relics from the oldworld.

The table beside her front door where she often slung her purse was a relic from a time when the Scandinavians held a tight rein on interior design and mass produced millions of easily constructed pieces and though they weren't a big deal at the time, Lina loved her three hundred year old Ikea table. She loved it the way she loved her small mountain of paperbound books and her collection of large vinyl discs that her ancestors had stored their music on.

Lina stood in her living room for a small moment, taking in the sight of everything she would be leaving behind. To anyone else, the sight wasn't anything special. There was a fireplace on the northernmost wall crowned by a small mantle lined with old photographs. The walls were a soft crème which she had applied in an attempt to tone down her monstrosity of a sofa. It hadn't worked. It was all of these little details, the crème coloured walls, the awful couch, the pile of books in the far corner of the room, and the often neglected television, that had really made the place _hers_ and Lina found she was going to miss it, every inch of it. From every stitch of furniture to every hole she'd punched in the wall.

Sighing heavily and having committed the living room to her memory, Lina shed her commander's uniform and made her way to the bathroom as she hadn't had the time for a proper shower that afternoon. Lina replayed the events of the previous night and following morning in her mind as she unplaited her hair and waited for the water to reach her ideal temperature. Over the years Lina had schooled herself to become indifferent to the memory of Leonard's touch, his voice. After she'd finally accepted that he was no longer hers to love, Lina had conditioned herself to become independent, to become strong on her own. She was proud of herself and held her head high as she gazed into the mirror. She was a woman that had been broken and that rebuilt herself to be stronger, better than she had ever been.

"Water temperature has reached 79 degrees Fahrenheit."

At the computer's alert, Lina stepped gratefully into the warm waters, soaking her head under the faucet for a long moment. Though she had learned to live without Leonard, though she had moved on, she'd never lost the ache in her chest. It was a cold, dull ache that she carried around with her at all times, a pain that no other man could ever manage to sate. And she'd tried, damnit. She'd tried to have other men in her life and a few times she'd even managed to find some form of happiness with them. But in the end, it was never enough. No one had ever challenged her, ever appreciated her mind and wit the way that he had. With the exception of Spock, but Lina certainly wasn't dumb enough to fall for her best friend _twice._

When she'd spotted him in that bar two nights ago, the ache inside her raged into an agonizing inferno, burning white hot in her bones. It consumed her. He'd looked so mesmerized and yet so pained, and he was just so damned beautiful; her gut twisted into a painful knot at the thought of it. Every fiber of her being wanted to run up to him, to wrap herself around him and cling on tight. He'd always made her feel safe and protected. When she'd thought of home in her youth Lina never pictured the empty, cold mansion she technically grew up in, she'd always pictured Leonard. It didn't matter if they sat in a library for hours, if they simply lay in a field, or huddled together on his couch watching a movie, as long as she had him by her side she was home.

When he showed up on her doorstep the next night, Lina knew that she would ultimately let him in. And that terrified her. No matter how much time had passed, no matter the heartache that plagued her, Lina would always let him back in. No matter how strong, how independent she'd become, Leonard McCoy would always be the chink in her armor.

Lina sighed, rolling her shoulders in the relaxing spray of warm water before she began lathering her hair. Seeing him tore open every stich, reopened every wound she'd mended in her memory, the pain of having him sit in her living room and pour his heart out to her could only be rivaled by the joy seeing him gave her.

She would have to move wisely, she realized, if she wanted to survive this time. He'd begged her to let him in her life and she would, there was never any doubt in her mind that she would, but Lina knew that she couldn't let herself fall like she had before, at least not yet. She knew that, if she did, she would never recover, she would shatter and all of the bourbon and help of a concerned Vulcan wouldn't be able to put her back together again.

As Lina stepped out of the shower and donned a soft, red towel the ancient grandfather clock in the hall struck 5'oclock, which thrust a new realization upon her. Leonard had asked to see her again. Tonight. Realizing that she had no idea as to what time he would arrive, nor any idea what they would do, it also dawned on her that Lina had absolutely no idea what she would wear.

She definitely wanted him to notice her, to realize what he had been missing and yet she didn't want to appear as if she had _tried_ for that effect. In their past it hadn't mattered what they wore as they were nearly always together anyway, but now was different. _They_ were different and Lina, though she realized it was slightly spiteful, wanted him to want her the way that she had always pined for him.

Scanning through her closet did absolutely nothing to help. Pajamas wouldn't do, nor would any of the dresses she owned as they were far too formal. She didn't have time to run out and grab something, either. Grumbling to herself, Lina set about the daunting task of putting together the perfect ensemble.

* * *

"I think we'll keep her aboard," Kirk mused as the elevator door _swooshed_ open and the three men stepped inside, "she certainly seems qualified."

"That would be most improbable, Captain," Spock reminded him mildly, his hands cross behind his back as the elevator began a steady descent to the bottom floor"Despite her numerous qualifications, Lina's true passion is the practice of medicine. I doubt that she would settle for any position less thanthat of the CMO and we are already gifted with Dr. McCoy's presence, it does not seem logical that Dr. Darnell would remain aboard." He kept his dark eyes trained on Bones, as if waiting for the man's reaction.

Bones gave none, wondering just how close Lina was to the science officer. While Spock often derived a sense of pride from always having the correct information, he seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the one sided game he was playing with what reaction was he waiting for? McCoy hadn't felt his job threatened, hadn't reacted to the thought of Lina remaining on board, so _what_ was that pointy eared hobgoblin getting at? He had the sneaking suspicion that Spock knew more about his past with Lina than he was letting on, however, McCoy refused to bite. "Lassiter did request a reassignment," the doctor replied with a shrug, "we're a hand short in the med bay. Perhaps an assistant."

"Her license has been reinstated, maybe she could help out from time to time," Kirk ventured as the elevator came to a smooth halt and the doors parted, "if she's interested and you'd allow it," he turned to McCoy with a questioning gaze.

"If she's interested," the doctor agreed, trying to sound neutral. Internally, Leonard was thrust back to medical school, when he and Lina were interning together at Oxford General. They'd worked in perfect harmony together, their strengths and weaknesses both complimenting the other. The notion of working with her, being close to her again thrilled him.

"You're different today," Kirk noted through narrow eyes. "When are you ever this agreeable?"

"Your actions _are_ rather out of character," the Vulcan agreed with a raised brow. "Perhaps something is bothering you?"

"Yeah, you two." McCoy retorted, stalking off before any further dissections of his behavior could be made.

He didn't know how long he could maintain the charade of indifference towards the newest addition to the crew, especially with that damned pointy eared bastard eyeballing his every move. "Damn it all," he muttered to himself as he punched in the security code to his living quarters, cursing aloud when his communicator began sounding from his pocket.

"No, Jim," McCoy grumbled into the opened device, "whatever you want, the answer is no."

"There's the doctor I know and love," Jim replied in mock elation, "seriously Bones, we're heading to the bar in a while. Sure you don't want to come?"

"I've got somewhere to be," Bones replied vaguely, kicking off his boots as he did so. Though he could definitely use a drink to calm his nerves after that afternoon a shower sounded much more appealing.

"Uh huh," Jim persisted, sounding amused, "same place you were last night?"

The captain laughed when Bones cursed into the receiver just before cutting the connection. The captain was a good friend but damned if he wasn't a pain in McCoy's ass, and too damned observant too.

Still grumbling, McCoy retreated into the steam of a hot shower. He washed quickly and toweled off, wondering absently what time he should arrive at Lina's. He'd wanted to speak to her about it after the introductions but he hadn't managed to get a word in between Kirk turning into a fan girl over Lina's file and Spock and the new SecOp exchanging pleasantries.

His mind flashed back to the Vulcan's questioning gazes and wondered just how much Spock knew. Not that he cared, really, but the thought of Lina running to Spock for comfort with her broken heart just rubbed McCoy the wrong way.

McCoy shook his head to clear the thought away and made quick of dressing in a pair of jeans and old tshirt before settling in at his desk. It was only 5:45 pm and he still had days' worth of preparations to make before the Enterprise set sail on her five year mission, he might as well knock some of it out as he killed the time. He busied himself going over the medical supply lists and the crew scheduling for the medical bay, always making sure to fairly alternate out the nurses hours. The only thing worse than an overworked nurse was a case of Andorian shingles and McCoy had plenty of experience with both to know that he wanted absolutely nothing to do with either.

The next time the doctor glanced at his watch it was nearing 7:30 pm, plenty late enough he decided. McCoy shrugged into his worn, leather jacket and stepped into his boots, leaving behind his sparse apartment.

Lina's address was already seared into his memory and, coincidently, she lived not even a ten minute walk from McCoy's humble abode. She had been right under his nose all of those years and never once had the two bumped into each other. The thought set off an odd twinge in his chest, almost as if Lina had slipped through his fingers all over again. Lord knows he couldn't let that happen. He'd be her friend, her door mat, her lover, whatever she would allow him to be, as long as she would allow him to be there. He'd already resolved himself to that fact five years ago as he signed his name (with a haughty flourish) to his divorce papers. Seeing her again, holding her again, that only strengthened his resolve. Wherever Lina Darnell went, she would just have to accept that he'd be going with her.

Two blocks and a left turn later, McCoy climbed the three small steps that led up to Lina's ancient door. He'd be damned before butterflies inhabited his stomach, but there was certainly _something _churning there as he tentatively knocked on the worn, wooden surface.

A moment passed, then another, just as McCoy had been about to knock for a second time he could make out the sounds of tiny footfalls on the other side, followed by a loud thud against the door. He could make out a muffled curse before the latch clicked and the door swung open.

His jaw nearly hit the pavement. Lina stood barefoot in the doorway, her long hair having been straightened and flowing in soft layers around her sculpted face. She wore a simple white sweater and jean shorts, her face without makeup, her person without the adornment of jewelry. She was beautiful, more beautiful than he had ever seen her before. He wondered absently if she knew how her eyes sparkled in the dim light of the San Francisco dusk, because damned if they were the most amazing sight he'd ever lay eyes upon as she peered up him from the doorway, a slight pout on her full lips. Those lips, god he wanted to feel them against his own, the claim them for his right there on her porch step. "Did you just trip against the door?" the words were out of mouth before McCoy even had time to process what he'd said, startling both of them from their awe.

"_No_," Lina lied haughtily, narrowing her eyes and turning on her heel and retreating into the den, "you coming in or what?"

McCoy couldn't help but chuckle as he stepped inside, the door closing behind him. Her temper certainly hadn't changed much at all. Looking around, he noticed her tastes hadn't changed much as her small home was filled to the brim with old world relics. "Still collecting the old and busted, I see." He shrugged out of his jacket, eying in particular an old stethoscope from the 1900's handing in a glass case on her wall.

"You're here, aren't you?" Lina teased, taking his jacket and hanging it on the rack by the door. The smile on her face said that she was immensely proud of own joke and McCoy couldn't help but smile. She was stronger, prouder but she was still Lina.

He hadn't realized he'd been staring until Lina finally cleared her throat, shifting her weight awkwardly as they stood in the small hall between the den and the door. _Shit_, he cursed internally, _what do you say after nine years?_

"Kirk seemed to like you," he said finally, running a hand through his dark hair. _Of course he does_.

Lina gave him a wide smile, a frustrated sigh emanating in her throat. "Small talk, Leonard?"

She took his hand before he could reply, dragging him down the hall with an impressive strength, "Do you remember our sophomore year at Ole Miss and I got kicked out of the dorms?"

"You mean after the authorities had been called in response to a woman being murdered which turned out to be just you screaming after your reflection scared you in the community bathroom?" Leonard snorted, raising a brow, "how could I forget?"

"_After that, you ass," _Lina gave him swat on the shoulder, "when we rented that cramped little house on Main street so I wouldn't have to stay alone."

"I remember," McCoy admitted fondly as he allowed himself to be led into the kitchen. It was small, much like the one they had shared in college, and had Lina's odd flare in every inch of it. He missed that house, missed the times they had shared inside it. Those had been some of the happiest times in his life.

"Remember our nightly routine?" Lina practically shoved him down onto a bar stool at the small island in the center of the pale green kitchen.

Leonard chuckled softly, nodding his head as Lina repeated their old, golden rule, "No matter how busy we were, how tired, or what we have planned, we eat dinner together every night."

"And talk about our day," McCoy added, peering at her through his lashes with his old smile, "I remember."

"Well I figure we have about a decade's worth of talking to do," Lina returned his smile as she opened the fridge and poured two glasses of iced tea from a glass pitcher.

"Thanks," McCoy purposefully brushed his fingers against her as he accepted the glass, enjoying the blush that crept onto her tanned cheeks. "So what's for dinner?"

* * *

"When's the last time you actually had something cooked at home?" Lina smiled as she scooped a second helping of fried pork chops and green beans onto Leonard's plate.

Leonard swallowed, washing his dinner down with a swig of tea, "Do you really wanna know?"

"That long, huh?" Lina nodded, pouring herself a fresh glass. "I heard your captain call you 'Bones' earlier today," she prodded gently, her eyes asking him for the tale.

His change of expression told her all she needed to know. He'd been left with nothing and had even been defined by it. Lina took another drink of her tea to distract herself from the thought.

"Where did you go, Lina?" he asked her finally. "You left without a trace, a word, anything. Where did you go?"

His sable eyes searched her face, their color deepened in sadness. Against her better judgement, Lina turned on her stool, taking one of Leonard's large, calloused hands in her one as she spoke. She didn't know where to begin, how to begin, but the look in his eyes told her she had to explain.

_You looked so happy spinning her around that dance floor._

"I, um," she cleared her throat, searching for the words, "I went to New York first."

_I couldn't bear watching you love someone else._

"New York?" Leonard raised a skeptical brow, taking another bite of dinner.

"Yeah, but I had never been anywhere so _urban_ before. It sort of freaked me out," she admitted shaking her head, "then I headed out west. I saw the deserts, saw the grand canyon, stayed in Law Vegas _way_ longer than I should have," she waggled her eyebrows, causing Leonard to roll his.

Lina clicked her tongue for a moment before she continued, searching for the right words. "After a couple of months I decided it was time to quit acting like a kid so I hopped on a shuttle in Tuscan that brought to the academy here. I've been here ever since."

Leonard nodded at her tale, understanding as she purposely left holes in the tale. She'd tell him when she was ready, and he'd try not to push it. "I worried about you."

Lina's heart fluttered a little at the confession though she tried not to let it show, "What happened to you? I mean after the uh…the umm... you know."

"Divorce?"

"Yeah," Lina frowned slightly at the memory, "that."

Leonard sat up, placing his fork down as he considered where to begin. _I looked everywhere for you. _ "Jocelyn took everything, and I didn't really care to stay anywhere near Georgia so I drifted for a while," he told her, well aware of her sapphire eyes on his face, "I guess for a good year, I traveled around. Drank too much, fought too much. Finally I ended up in Riverside, Iowa, staring up at a shuttle yard when a memory managed to claw its way into my drunken head." Despite the solemnness in his tone Leonard smiled, brushing Lina's hair away from her face.

"What's that?" Lina pried, not bothering to fight her own smile, her breath hitching involuntarily as his fingertips brushed her cheek.

"A sixteen year old girl sitting in an old field, staring up at the night sky while an eighteen year old boy only saw her. She told him he could be more; she compared him to the night sky. I guess I decided I wanted to see what the hell she was talking about." His eyes were agonizingly soft as he gazed into hers, his thumb traced small circles against the smooth flesh of her hand. "It wasn't so bad, after all."

Lina wiped at the tears that had formed in her eyes as he confessed his motivation behind joining Starfleet, a motion that didn't escape Leonard's attention. "Baby," he teased, wiping away the tear she had missed.

"Jerk," she retorted, swatting his shoulder, not that it ever bothered him. "I'm glad you joined," she admitted after a moment, "It's good to see you again."

She knew she shouldn't admit it, she shouldn't let him get too close, but it was much easier thought than done, especially with him sitting right in front of her.

"Yeah," McCoy agreed with a smile, allowing his hand to linger on her cheek, "me too. I missed you."

"Me too," Lina stood and began to clear the dishes away in an effort to hide the heat growing in her cheeks.

Not even a moment later, McCoy joined her at the sink and the two quickly settled into the old routine, her washing and him rinsing. They did so in a companionable silence, exchanging shy smiles and sideways glances as they cleaned up the evidence from the night's meal. Lina even ventured so far as to lean her head upon Leonard's broad shoulder as they stood at the sink.

If God had struck Leonard McCoy down right then, he would have died a happy man. With a full stomach and stumbling back into Lina's good graces, he couldn't find a reason in the world to complain. Until he happened to glance over and find the cold, black eyes of Commander Spock peering back at him from a photograph hanging on Lina's wall. McCoy eyed it for a short while, narrowing his eyes at the indifferent gaze of the photographed Vulcan.

"How did you come by Spock?" He asked, attempting to sound casual as he dried the last of the plates. "You two seem close."

"We are," Lina gave a nonchalant shrug, "He's a good friend. I met him my freshman year in the academy."

"Oh, that's nice." And he wanted to leave it at that, but the question just kept nagging and clawing at the back of his mind. "How'd you meet him?"

"Jealous?" Lina mocked his usual skeptical expression, raising a brow with a smug smile.

"No," McCoy lied, putting the last dish away, "your face is gonna get stuck like that."

"He found me in a bar and took me home," Lina said simply, a devilish twinkle in her eye. McCoy knew it wasn't the whole story but he also knew she probably wouldn't tell him, either.

"Did you tell him anything about, um, us?" McCoy hesitated in bringing up the memories but he had to get the suspicions out of his mind, "He kept giving these knowing glances all afternoon, damned goblin."

"I told him where I was from, why I'd come out west but I never gave away your name." Lina shrugged as she rinsed her hands, "well, not your real name anyway."

McCoy gave her a sideways glance, "And what name did you give him?"

"Not your real one," Lina dodged artfully, giggling when McCoy began grumbling under his breath, "I used to push your buttons on purpose," she admitted after a moment, ignoring the doctor's glare. "I always liked it when you were fussy and grumbly, so I would irritate you on purpose."

"I know," McCoy rolled his eyes, turning to face her. "I remember that well." God, she hadn't aged a day.

"You're always grumbling now," she smiled as she gazed up at him "I still like it."

Somewhere down the hall a clock chimed, had it not fallen on deaf ears the two would have realize that midnight had crept upon them. But McCoy saw only Lina, heard only his pulse raging in his ears and the slight gasp that escaped her full lips as he gently lifted her chin. Not an inch separated them, McCoy could feel the heat from her soft lips against his as she breathed his name.

Somehow the action brought him back to his senses. McCoy straightened, allowing his hand to slip from Lina's face as he cleared his throat. "I should go," his voice was laced with regret at the disappointment etched onto Lina's angelic face. He wanted this, but he didn't want to push her. He'd only just scratched his way back into her life, he'd be damned if he screwed it up again.

Gently, he bent to place a kiss to her cheek before turning away, only to have her small hand shoot out and clasp onto his arm in an iron grip. "Stay," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper, "stay with me."

"I'll stay," his promise was lost as Lina grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, dragging his mouth down to her own in a hungry kiss, a desperate embrace laced with want and frustration. He was done for. McCoy lifted her effortlessly, grinning against her mouth as Lina wrapped her smooth legs around his waist. "I'll stay," he broke their kiss just long enough to whisper to words against the heated flesh of her neck, emphasizing his promise with a trail of feather soft kisses along the sensitive vein before he once again claimed her lips as his own.

_Well, I guess I'll be damned, then._


	5. Chapter 5

**Djero, thank you for your review! As an answer to your question, no, Spock was _reminding_ Kirk that despite her numerous qualifications, Lina probably wouldn't settle for a lesser position. The reason Spock keeps eying McCoy is to gauge his reactions to Lina. Sometimes I forget that you guys aren't in my head and so I fail to imply things, but I did go back and edit that chapter to avoid any further confusion and I'm deeply sorry for that.**

**And thank you to everyone that has favorited or followed the story! You guys make me so happyyyyy.**

**P.s. I couldn't help but slip the filibuster in somehow, and as this universe is a good 250+ years ahead of ours I figured it deserved a movie. **

**P.p.s. Feel free to follow me on tumblr, guys. I'm swiggityswoocifer.**

**p.p.p.s And if any of you felt like reviewing, I certainly wouldn't mind.**

**Kisses,**

**K.**

"_Leonard?" Lina's eyes fluttered open restlessly, her voice barely above a whisper in the early morning light. "Leonard, are you awake?"_

_ "I am now," he mumbled groggily, pulling her closer to him, "what is it, baby?"_

_ Lina sighed as the warmth of his chest washed over her, welcoming the strength of his arms as Leonard cradled her against him. "I'm scared," she admitted a moment later, her anxious fingertips tracing circular patterns on his chest._

_ Leonard rolled onto his side to face her, his deep brown eyes tender as they swept over her troubled face, "About going away?"_

_ Lina nodded shamefully, burying her face in the crook of his neck, finding comfort in the familiar scent and warmth it offered. "I've never gone anywhere by myself before, let alone off planet."_

_ McCoy placed a finger under Lina's delicate chin and raised her lips to his, claiming them in a gentle kiss. "You've spent your entire life looking up at that sky," he murmured as he brushed the sleep wearied curls away from her face, "you've been dreaming about this internship for years. You're gonna love it."_

_ Lina offered him an unsure smile, turning her face in to his large palm, "I know. I just wish you were coming, too."_

_ "I'll be right here when you get back," he promised her with his boyish smile, relishing in the feel of her soft curves pressed against him, "I'm not going anywhere."_

_ Lina's smile finally reached her eyes and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose, "What are you gonna do while I'm gone?"_

_ "Wait for you to come home."_

_ If anyone had intruded upon that perfect moment and told those two lovestruck, foolish kids that, in just a little over a year, he would be standing in a small chapel surrounded by their friends and family with another woman while she gazed on with a broken heart, they wouldn't have believed it. Who would?_

* * *

Lina groaned as the sun hit her face, memories or the night before flashing behind her eyes in a graphic montage of sweaty, tangle limbs and promises whispered through passionate moans. _So much for not getting too close, Lina_, she kicked herself mentally as she forced herself to open her eyes and greet her broken resolve and shattered willpower as it lay next to her, a content smile on his lips as he slept.

That dull ache in her soul all but disappeared as she lay entwined in his strong embrace, that hole in her heart threatened to cave in and fill itself with his warmth. Lina fought the urge to punch herself and instead internally cursed herself for her own weaknesses. She hated him, hated how she'd never stood a chance when it came to him, and hated herself even more for falling for the same charms all over again.

"Shut up," McCoy grumbled lightheartedly, pulling her closer as if he could feel her trying to push herself away. "You're thinking too loud."

His eyes remained closed but his wide grin betrayed the fact that he was completely awake and had been for some time. "You can't hear me thinking," Lina argued lightly, thankful to be spared from his deep, smoldering gaze. One look from him left her feeling completely exposed, as if he could dissect her every thought and emotion with a sweep of his sable eyes._ As if I'm not already naked enough, _she groaned internally_,_ pulling the comforter up nearly to her chin.

McCoy eyed her through his lashes, watching as she attempted to hide beneath the blankets. "No, I can't hear you thinking," he told her, swallowing the chuckle that had built in his throat. "But I know you and I know what you're doing. You're doing that thing where you overthink everything to the point of ruination."

"I don't do that," Lina denied with narrowed eyes despite the chills that worked their way up her spine as the doctor began massaging small circular patterns into her shoulder with the pad of his thumb. It felt good to hold her, it felt right. McCoy couldn't remember the last time he'd felt such relaxation.

"You do," the doctor trailed his hand down Lina's arm so that their hands met, a smile gracing his pout when she entwined her small fingers with his. They still fit just right. "You always have," he placed a small kiss to the back of her knuckles holding their clasped hands in between them before he continued, "Don't over think this, Lina. This doesn't have to be anything more than you want it to be. If you need time, I'll give it to you. If you need space, I'll give you that too. I'll be whatever you need me to be, whatever you want me to be. Just say the words."

"That's not fair," Lina groaned, "you don't get to show up after nine years and pull me right back in, Leonard."

"A man can try," the doctor gazed down at their entwined hands, a hint of sadness creeping into his distant gaze. The last few years of his life had been a roller coaster, one on which he'd experienced his highest of highs and lowest of lows. He'd moved on, rebuilding his life from scratch after his bitter divorce, he'd become the CMO aboard Starfleet's most prestigious starship, and found friends that he would carry with him for the rest of his days. He'd saved hundreds of lives along the way and, until two days ago, he'd thought he'd filled that gaping hole in his chest with enough distractions to keep his thoughts of Lina at bay. Lying next to her only served to prove him unmistakably and horribly wrong.

"I should go," he said finally as the clock in the hall struck ten. He smiled inwardly at the frown that fell on Lina's lips at the notion, the reluctant nod she gave him.

"You don't have to."

"But I should." _Damnit woman, don't make it any harder on me. _"Someone has to make sure the Enterprise doesn't warp into uncharted space without being properly stocked," he muttered, pressing a kiss to her temple and climbing from the bed, treating her to the lovely few of his marvelous backside.

Lina nodded, remembering her days of making sure the medical bays were fully stocked aboard the Moffat. Even before short missions, the days were hectic. "How long are we going to pretend like we don't know each other?"

She gnawed on her bottom lip, watching unabashedly as he disappeared through the bedroom door, retrieving the trail of discarded clothing they had left along the hallway the night before. "It'll come out soon enough," he called from the hall, taking note of the antique weaponry that donned Lina's halls with a wry smile and shake of his head, "Spock's already suspicious."

A moment later, McCoy returned with the pile of abandoned clothing. He caught her stare and grinned smugly with a raised brow, causing a lovely blush to rise on her cheeks as she tore her gaze away.

McCoy tossed the clothes onto the bed and took his time in getting dressed, enjoying Lina's failed attempts to keep her eyes averted as she dressed herself. "He'll figure it out eventually," Lina managed to stammer out after a moment, "If he hasn't already. He won't tell anyone, though, not unless it becomes relevant." She stood from the bed, pulling her sweater over her head and crossing over to the mirror, attempting to smooth down her bedhead. "I don't mind anyone knowing," she admitted finally, "I won't deny it."

"Me neither," Leonard placed a kiss to the top of her head as he came to stand behind her, "but they don't have to know right now."

"I guess not," she agreed , knowing their morning was fast coming to a close. Again, as she had been since she'd first seen him, Lina was torn. Torn between wanting him to stay and needing him to leave, knowing she'd never return to senses until she was alone again.

She walked him to the front door where McCoy pressed a light kiss to her cheek, clearly reluctant to continue pushing her resolve, and gave her his communicator's code. "In case you need me," he muttered, running a hand through his hair.

Lina stored it in her device, at a loss for words as he shrugged into his old jacket. She wanted to ask if she would see him again before they shipped out but didn't want to seem too eager. He was busy, after all. She wanted to press a kiss to his cheek and tell him she'd be thinking about him but didn't trust herself to be able to let him go.

"Just say 'bye'," McCoy smiled down at her, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear and allowing his fingertips to linger there before he stepped out into the brisk air of the San Francisco morning, "you're overthinking again."

"Bye, Leonard," Lina returned his smile despite herself, hating the way she already missed his touch.

The doctor tossed her a boyish grin before he turned away, treading the path back to the base, leaving Lina to battle her thoughts.

As soon as she closed the door behind him Lina found herself faced with a deafening silence. Unwilling to face her inner turmoil, she started about the tasks of getting ready for the day, deciding that after a quick shower she would finish up calling the few remaining clients she had left on her list and inform them that she would no longer be available.

She'd already begun calling them the previous week, right after she'd reported to the high command to receive her reinstatement papers and new uniforms. Calling the remaining seven on the list took less than an hour and by 12:30 Lina found herself sitting alone on her couch, her raging thoughts her only company.

She had be comfortable aboard the Moffat, her Officer's quarters had been outfitted to her every need and she'd only had to pack once as her belongings stayed in her quarters. Aboard the Enterprise she'd have to settle again all over again and for the life of her, Lina couldn't fathom what to bring. Of course she would be bringing a small collection of books to occupy in her free time or busy her mind during restless nights, her fencing sabre and sparring forks for recreation as she'd heard much talk about the impressive facilities aboard the Enterprise, and of course a decent amount of clothing and personal effects.

Realizing that she knew exactly what she would bring, Lina sighed and began packing, dragging her old duffle out of the closet. She narrowed her choice of books down to her old Sherlock Holmes collection and a few rare medical texts, packing them away in the bottom of the bag before folding her clothes neatly on top of them. Her sabre and sparring forks went in on top of the clothes and her favorite photographs went in on top of those. She didn't pack many, just a few old pictures of her mother, a picture of her and Spock taken at their graduation ceremony, and a picture of a young Orion babe swaddled tightly in its mother's emerald arms. Lina smiled, pressing a light kiss to the last one before she tucked it into her duffle.

With her packing finished and her clients dealt with, Lina once again sat down to face her roaring thoughts. She felt like that same stupid kid she'd been in medical school, easy and gullible. Not even four hours after resolving herself to not allowing him to get close to her she'd gone and crawled into bed with him, and she'd been completely aware of it the whole time. Hell, she'd orchestrated it; he'd been about to leave before she practically jumped on top of him.

Lina groaned and fell back onto her bed, wallowing in her own self-loathing. She knew he'd meant what he said that morning, that he was willing to give her all of the space and time she needed and that was fine, except for the fact that Lina had no idea _what_ she needed.

Lina forced herself off the bed and threw her hair into a haphazard ponytail and grabbed her earbuds off the vanity, knowing she needed to remain busy in order to avoid her mind tearing itself to shreds. Lina tied on her sneakers and stalked out the door, welcoming the distraction of the cold air on her face and the music echoing in her head. It was a three mile jog to her gym and the promise of a battle simulation waiting to take on her fury only drove her forward. It'd been too long since she'd kicked a battle bot's ass, anyway.

* * *

"Careful with those biobeds, damnit!" Bones called as one of the workers pushed the hover crane bearing the load into a stack of crates containing extra hyposprays. "Damned cadets," he grumbled under his breath, checking the extra stretchers off the list on his PADD.

Bones had busied himself in the hangar bay, overseeing the shipments of medical equipment as they were loaded onto the cargo shuttles and, truthfully, the doctor wasn't much more focused himself, not with the memories of last night playing behind his eyes. He'd gone with the best of intentions and had genuinely been about to leave before Lina asked him to stay and that had been what had meant the most to him. She'd asked him to stay, twice now. Bones couldn't wipe the smile away from his face if he'd tried and if any of the cadets noticed the doctor wasn't as surly as usual, they knew better than to comment on the matter.

The rest of the loading had gone without incident, for which Bones was immensely grateful as that meant he had no accident reports to fill out and sign his name to. After checking and rechecking the load of biobeds, hyposprays, transfusions, biomonitors, and surgical implements McCoy gave the shuttle the greenlight to transport the cargo to the Enterprise where it would wait in the massive ship's cargo hold for him and his medical staff to transport the equipment to the sickbay.

With one less thing on his list, Bones made his way out the hangar bay with a noticeable spring in his step. He was thankful that he wouldn't have to return to the massive structure until they shipped out in two days' time as even being around the shuttles was enough to make him cringe. He'd managed to become somewhat comfortable aboard the Enterprise but those damned shuttles were an accident waiting to happen.

"Bones!"

The doctor glanced up at the captain's voice to see Jim jogging over to him, a star chart hovering above the captain's opened PADD.

"We have a heading, I take it?" Bones glanced idly at the star chart, obviously not pleased about spending five years trapped in the cold, dark expanses of deep space.

"Close," Jim told him, settling into an easy stride next to McCoy as the two descended the steps into the courtyard outside of the HQ building. "This is a map of the system surrounding Nibiru."

"Oh, great," Bones grumbled as memories of running through a dense red forest, chased by angry natives and diving off a cliff into the ocean flashed behind his eyes.

"This is where we were mapping when the volcano began erupting," Jim ignored his friend's grouching and rotated the map to show the far edge, a blank space, "this is where I'm thinking of picking back up. We know there are life supporting planets and planetoids in the area, so why not?"

"What's the nearest planetoid?" Bones eyes the mostly blank map casually, not looking forward to beaming down on anymore Nibiruesque surfaces.

"It's called Kurva but it's only been named, never explored," Jim gestured to a blank space in the map, "it should be about here on the map if it were there."

"Any available knowledge of the place?" Bones raised an uneasy brow, wishing just once that he could beam down to a hospitable surface and perhaps even be greeted as a mysterious archangel rather than a hostile, blue shirted conqueror.

"Not a bit," Kirk confirmed the doctor's suspicions with a grin, clapping his friend on the shoulder, "quit frowning, it'll be fine."

"Fine, my ass," Bones rolled his eyes and transferred his cargo list to Jim's PADD, "the medical bay is stocked, by the way."

"Never doubted it," Jim signed the document absently before glancing back up at the doctor,  
"hungry?"

"I could eat."

"I thought you could."

* * *

They had managed to make it through nearly the entire lunch discussing possible routes and destinations when the subject of Lina came up.

"What do you think about having a SecOp aboard?" Jim asked casually around a mouthful of sandwich.

Bones shrugged, schooling his face to remain impassive, "Just one more person to wind up in my medbay," he answered dismissively. "I don't see why we need one."

"High Command is considering turning the position into a 'standard precaution'. In case another situation like Khan arises." Jim's nostrils flared angrily at the memory. "Sounds more like having a mole on board to me."

"I don't know, Jim," Bones began slowly, careful not to defend Lina too fiercely as he didn't feel like dealing with the captain's incessant pestering, "she doesn't seem like the spy type."

"No, I don't think so either," Jim nodded his agreement, "Good thing Spock convinced them to give _her_ the job."

Just then Sulu entered the mess hall and happened by their table with a broad smile, effectively saving McCoy from having to reply, as the pilot offered them a cheerful greeting and he made his way to the bar, purchasing a water.

"What the hell is he so happy about?" Jim watched the normally serious pilot with a raised brow.

"Maybe one of his plants finally talked back to him," McCoy shrugged, thankful for the change of subject.

* * *

Lying in bed that night, McCoy could get comfortable for the life of him. He rolled onto all sides and finally settled on his back, his dark eyes fixed on the ceiling. His bed was soft and warm, if empty. The room's sensors had set the temperature to his ideal comfort levels, and the curtain had been drawn to block out the bright city lights. Still, sleep eluded him.

Of course, McCoy was used to struggling for sleep as this had been nightly routine for years now, since the first time the Enterprise had sailed. The ship had been hit by Romulan torpedoes and deck six had taken the brunt of the blow. Before he'd known it, he was up to his elbows in his fellow crewman's blood, trying to save every one he could. That had been the day he had been promoted to CMO, but he didn't think of it that way. That day would always be the day that he failed to save sixteen members of the crew and every time he had shut his eyes since then he could still see their cold, dead gazes locked onto him as their biomonitors went silent.

McCoy wiped one of his hands down his face, willing the bloody memories away. He didn't need to look at the clock to know it was late but he spared the device in question a glance anyway. It was 1:16 am. Part of him wanted to go crawl in between Lina's sheets and drift off with her hair in his face but McCoy knew that was out of the question. No matter how well he slept with her next to him, he wanted to give Lina her space, wanted her to come to him next.

His communicator beeping to life distracted McCoy from his thoughts and he grabbed he device from the plain bedside table with a knowing smile. _Speak of the devil_.

"Hello?" he held the device limply in one hand, closing his eyes as Lina's voice quietly filled the room.

"Are you sleeping?"

"Sure am," McCoy replied sarcastically, picturing Lina's large blue eyes as she rolled them, "I have a habit of answering my communicator while I sleep."

"You're annoying," he could hear the smile in Lina's voice, along with the muffled sounds of the television in the background. "What are you doing?"

"Talking to you," McCoy pictured her sitting on that ugly old couch of hers with her communicator on the seat next to her, her legs drawn up against her chest as she gazed unseeingly at the screen. "You?"

"Eating grapes and watching _Filibuster_," she replied simply, "did you have a nice day?"

Bones laughed to himself at her casual tone, "Did you call just to chat at 1:20 in the morning?"

"Yep," Lina popped her 'p' and he could make out the muffled sounds of her stretching out on the couch. "Did you have a nice day?" she repeated simply.

"Yeah," McCoy smiled despite his exhaustion, the soft sound of her voice lulling his haunted mind, "did you? Why are you watching _Filibuster _at one in the morning? How many times have you seen that?"

"I packed and went to the gym," he could practically hear her shrug. "It's my favorite movie," Lina defended lightly, "That Wendy Davis was an amazing woman."

"I know," McCoy remembered sitting through the two hour historical flick many times in their youth while Lina practically pressed her face against the screen in excitement, "I take it you couldn't sleep?"

"Nope," she yawned her reply, "I just wanted to talk to you," she admitted after a silent moment.

McCoy found himself grinning at her confession, "Did you now?"

"Mmhmm," she mumbled, "Goodnight, Leonard."

McCoy shook his head, still grinning like a fool in the darkness, "Goodnight, Lina."

Lina severed the connection, leaving McCoy alone with his thoughts once again. He was thankful for her odd call, even if it had only lasted a mere three minutes, it served as a distraction from the death that loomed over him in the dark of night. Even if she was just bored and couldn't sleep, she had to have had been thinking of him, right? Why else would she have called?

"Damnit man," McCoy wiped at his face, settling into his pillow, "get it together. You're a doctor, not a schoolgirl."


	6. Chapter 6

**Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh. My. God. It turns out I've named my planetoid after the Croatian word for "whore". But, I mean, it kinda fits. You'll see why soon.**

**And _you_, KennaWynters, I'll have you know that I will let it slide because your review_ made my life_. You now have my eternal gratitude, devotion, and first dibs on my first born child. Never will I allow anyone to smack you upside your lovely head.**

**Alright guys, here's the new chapter. I've rewritten it probably five times now and still can't seem to get it how I want it. I'm still disappointed with it, honestly. Alas, I'm tired, my vision is blurring, and I'm so I'm posting it anyways. **

**Thank you to everyone that has read, is still reading, or has favorited and followed this story. It means so much to me to be able to share something with you. You guys rule.**

**If you review, I will love you for ten times longer than forever. Think about it. That's a long time. Just throwing that out there.**

**xoxoxo,**

**K.**

"_We'll still talk every day," Lina promised as she stood on the tips of her toes, a gentle smile on her lips despite the tears in her azure eyes as she peered up at Leonard, finding strength in his embrace. He offered her a small smile as he dipped her head, knotting his hands in her hair as he captured her lips in a soft, lingering kiss. _

"_Every day," he echoed in a promise, brushing her tears away with the pad of his thumb as the organized chaos of the Savannah Shuttle Yard faded into a distant hum, the pair neither seeing nor hearing the other loved ones and well wishers that had come to see off their interns. "Even if it's only an email."_

"_No matter what," Lina assured him, trying her best to be strong when all she wanted to do was fall apart and have him take her home. "Every day."_

"_Shuttle 827 now boarding."_

_The monotonous, electronic alert struck the couple with its ugly truth, reminding them just how short their time together was and that it was fast coming to a close. Soon they would be separated by an unfathomable distance, the cold expanses of space between them with only video calls and emails to bide the time. Leonard crushed Lina to him, the tightening of her arms around his neck momentarily calming the panic building inside him. _

_Every fiber of his being wanted her to stay with him, but he knew he could never deny her her dream of interning off planet, no matter how much he needed her beside him. He hated himself for taking so long to figure out just that: he needed her. "Don't forget about me while you're living the dream, okay?" he half joked, cradling her face in his hands, "come back to me."_

"_Of course, I will," Lina promised as if it were the simplest thing in the world, her eyes tearing up again as the shuttle yard announced the last calls for boarding. She gripped him tighter, burying her face against his neck, finding comfort in his familiar scent. "I'll be home as soon as I can."_

"_I'll be right here."_

_A cold, emptiness settled deep in his gut as soon a Lina slipped from his arms and disappeared into the shuttle. His heart hammered painfully in his chest as he watched her go, even more so when he spotted her teary eyes through one of the shuttle's windows before it began its steady ascent._

"_I love you," he admitted dumbly, knowing she could no longer hear or see him, as if the confession could somehow keep her there. It didn't, and he stayed long after the platforms cleared, long after the shuttles were out of sight. _Please_, he prayed to anyone listening,_ please, be careful with my baby.

* * *

The last day of leave before shipping out on the Enterprise passed by in a blur of last minute medical examinations and clearings for the crew and was over before Bones could turn around. Much to his dismay, the irate doctor soon found himself back in the chaotic uproar of hangar bay seven, bidding his goodbyes to his precious planet Earth.

"Five damned years," he muttered to himself as Jim and Spock joining him in navigating through the cacophonous swarm of crewman as they scrambled to board their respective shuttles.

"C'mon, Bones!" Jim clapped the grumbling doctor on the shoulder as the men boarded the officers' shuttle, that feeling of dread already building in McCoy's gut. "This is exciting!"

The shuttle itself was plain in comparison to the goliath that was the Enterprise, then again, most were. The small transport vessel contained twelve rows of seats, each comprising of three seats that faced the row in front of it so that officers could comfortably socialize on the short voyage.

"Exciting, my ass," McCoy bit back, not sharing Jim's enthusiasm, as they shuffled down the shuttle's narrow aisles, receiving various greeting and pleasantries from the other officers. Despite his unease in them, McCoy navigated the twelve rows of seats with a fervid expertise as the doctor stalked his way to his comfort zone. First row behind the cockpit, facing the rear of the shuttle, the aisle seat so that he could make a mad dash for the bathroom if need be.

"Such a mission has never been undergone before, Doctor," Spock noted mildly behind McCoy, "our feat is one of prestige."

McCoy's bitter reply died on his lips when his eyes found Lina seated in the second row closest to the cockpit with a radiant smile lighting up her face as laughter bubbled from her full lips, her small shoulders shaking in her mirth. Even in the dim light of the crowded shuttle, she was stunning; Lina was a portrait of poise in her black operative's uniform, her long golden hair drawn up in a ponytail and showing off her sculpted face. Her eyes were lined, making them looking larger and brighter than usual and they flamed like cold stars as she grinned at something Sulu said. Sulu.

The pilot sat in the window seat directly across from Lina, leaning forward in his seat a satisfied smile that whatever he'd said had resulted in Lina's harmonious laugh. A sour taste formed in McCoy's mouth as he watched them laughing and joking like old friends, only looking away from each other to greet Uhura as she sat in the seat next to Lina, hugging her tight around the neck, crossing her legs and joining in on the conversation effortlessly, clutching onto Lina's hand like young school girls at the lunch table.

Jim punched McCoy harder than necessary on the shoulder, bringing the doctor back to the present. "You gonna sit down?" Jim brushed passed McCoy with a sigh to take the aisle seat.

Only then did Bones realize he had stopped dead in the center of the aisle, causing somewhat of a traffic jam in the process.

"You seem distracted, Doctor," Spock commented lightly, following the doctor's line of sight with his scrutinizing gaze, "am I correct in assuming you have encountered Dr. Darnell before?"

"You know what they say about assuming, Spock, 'makes an ass out of you and me'," McCoy retorted with a raised brow, muttering to himself as he shuffled into the group of seats, abandoning his usual seat to plop down beside Sulu with a self-satisfied smile.

The corners of Spock's mouth tilted slightly upward, almost imperceptibly as he took the seat opposite Jim, settling in next to Lieutenant Uhura who quickly claimed the science officer's attentions.

"Mr. Sulu, I see you've met our newest addition," Jim greeted the pilot with a nod of his head, offering a polite smile to Lina, "Ms. Darnell, you excited to return to space?"

"Very much so, Captain," Lina returned his smile, straightening in her seat as she readied to fasten the restraints across her chest, exchanging a polite nod with Spock as she did so. With Sulu watching her every move, McCoy noted with narrowed eyes as he fastened his own restraints. "It's been two years too long."

"This is shuttle pilot Lawrence, we are prepared for takeoff," the pilot announced over the com, followed by a slight jostle as the shuttle lifted from the hangar, whizzing smoothly through the air on a course it had travelled many times. It wouldn't be long now.

"I was just telling Lina about the recreation room aboard the Enterprise," Sulu told them proudly, emphasizing the use of Lina's first name. "It turns out she knows her way around the fencing court."

"Only a little," Lina replied modestly, a smile in her eyes as Leonard glared murderously at an unsuspecting Sulu, "I'm much more comfortable using my hands rather than a sabre."

Stabbing Sulu with his eyes proved to be an effective distraction from the flight as the only nausea McCoy felt stemmed from the infatuation in the other man's eyes as he gazed at Lina.

As if he felt the burning rage being seared into the side of his face, Sulu glanced over to be met with the doctor's intense glare. His smile faded instantly and the pilot leaned back in his seat with a raised brow, swallowing hard, "Doctor McCoy?"

"Sulu," McCoy replied simply still eying the pilot. He had nothing against Sulu, hell, he even liked the guy. Bones sure as hell respected him. Hikaru Sulu was a good worker, didn't waste time whining, and had proven to be quite formidable in the short hour that he had been promoted to acting captain the prior year. But seeing the young pilot ogling Lina had struck something in McCoy, and though he knew that he had no right to stop Sulu from pursuing her he also knew that he sure as hell didn't have to watch it.

* * *

Lina shook her head, a knowing smile gracing her lips as she turned her gaze out the shuttle's small window. He'd always been so damned overprotective. She'd only just met the young pilot a couple of days ago at the gym when he'd complimented her advanced Krav Maga technique. They struck up conversation and she discovered he, too, was fond of fencing and antique weaponry. They're conversations had been short and innocent and yet Leonard's poorly hidden jealousy caused a blush to rise up in her cheeks.

Leonard's scrutiny of Sulu and the contented conversations of the other officers behind her faded into a distant blur as Lina gazed out the window, her breath nearly hitching in her throat as the shuttle approached the distant space station.

Space had always had a hold on Lina, calling to her with its celestial siren song ever since she could remember. Part of the lure was the unknown, the adventure of the exploration of strange new worlds hidden amongst the stars. There was a thrill in exploring its natural, untamed depths and yet the sight of the USS Enterprise docked at the station caused butterflies to rise in her belly, a stark contrast of the raw power of space surrounding the ingenuity of man.

The Enterprise itself was an engineering marvel. At 674.4 meters long, the Enterprise was powered by independent nuclear reactors that could power the massive shuttle for up to fifteen years without being refitted and was well equipped the handle her own in a fight with an arsenal of eighteen phasers and three photon torpedoes. Each of the ninety-two officers and six hundred fifty-eight crewmen had their own quarters to ensure that each individual functioned at optimal efficiency; each room equipped with top of line technology and security systems. In emergency situations, of which the ship had seen many, she could take on up to four thousand passengers safely. She was a beautiful thing.

Lina nearly sighed at the sight of the massive starship, shining through the darkness like the northern start welcoming her home. She couldn't explain it, but somehow she felt like she _belonged_ onboard the Enterprise. Maybe it was a residual emotion from the demise of the Moffat during the Romulan attack on Vulcan but as the transport shuttle glided into the Enterprise's receiving bay, Lina found herself overwhelmed by a sense of arrival.

McCoy was having a harder time keeping his eyes off of her, especially when she practically pressed her nose against the window s she gaped at the Enterprise, looking like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Isn't she amazing?" Sulu's damned voice interrupted his thoughts as the other man noticed Lina's excitement.

"Incredible," Lina agreed, her eyes shining as she reluctantly tore her gaze away from the window in an attempt to compose herself as the shuttle docked and the doors opened.

McCoy made quick work of unbuckling his restraints and tearing out of the shuttle, "Reporting to the med bay," he growled over his shoulder, not giving a damn if anyone heard.

Kirk narrowed his eyes at McCoy's retreating back as the doctor practically fled the shuttle. He'd known the man for many years now and though the doctor was usually disgruntled about something he was never _moody_. Disgruntled _was_ his mood and it remained a constant. There was something up with Bones, something more than his aversion to the idea of spending five years in space. He'd have to get to the bottom of it later, maybe over a drink in the officer's lounge. As for now, duty called.

The captain and his other officers exited the shuttle, each giving a nod and salute to Kirk before reporting to their respective stations until only he and Lina remained.

This was her first time aboard a starship without rushing to make sure the medical bay was properly put together and as Lina wasn't technically a member of the Enterprise's security team, she found that she felt quite lost. She was a crewman without a station and it must have showed on her face as Kirk quickly bid her to follow him.

"I know this is odd," he told her as they navigated the halls where he would occasionally stop to sign off on tasks completed by the engineering or operations departments, "High Command only informed us of their decision a couple of weeks ago."

"I feel like I'm in the way," Lina admitted with a frown, speaking freely in front of the charismatic captain, "Aboard the Moffat I knew what I was supposed to do, what am I here but a glorified note taker?"

Kirk chuckled and paused in front of the elevator, allowing Lina to enter before him, "Well, you're qualified to work in the med bay and Doctor McCoy said he wouldn't mind an extra pair of hands on occasion."

Lina was thankful that the captain continued talking as it provided a cover for the surprised choke that escaped her at the thought that she could possibly work beside Leonard again.

"You're certainly qualified enough to work with the security teams," he commented idly, not commenting on her surprise if he had noticed it. "And I saw in your file that you even dabbled in mechanical engineering? Mr. Scott is always looking for an apprentice."

"I did, sir," Lina confirmed as the elevator doors whooshed open, revealing the awe inspiring sight of the Enterprise's bridge.

"Can I just ask you something?" Kirk pressed a button and the door silently closed again.

"Of course, sir," Lina raised a brow, praying he hadn't noticed Leonard's hostility towards her interactions with Sulu on the shuttle.

"Why?"

If possible, Lina's brow shot up even higher. "I don't understand," her confusion was evident in her voice, "Why what, Captain?"

"Why does a doctor train in _eleven_ different types of combat, obtain degrees in mechanical engineering and xenobotany?" The captain turned to face her, his fierce blue eyes sweeping over her face, "What are you hiding from?"

"I'm not hiding from anything, Captain."

"Bullshit." The captain kept his penetrating gaze leveled on her, "You already obtained your medical degree and practiced at Starfleet Medical. You had a full time position pulling 72 hour shifts. I understand the self-defense, you're a single woman living in a big city, it makes sense to know how to defend yourself but obtaining expert status in _eleven _different types of combat _and_ pursuing extra degrees on top of that, that's insane. No one stays that busy unless they're hiding from something in their past."

"I assure you, Captain," Lina folded her hands behind her back and tried to keep her tone even, anger evident in her eyes, "my past will in no way affect my performance aboard your ship, nor will it impede on anyone else's."

The captain nodded and reopened the elevator doors, "Good. Shall we?"

The bridge of the Enterprise was a portrait of synergy. Science and data officers sat at their stations along the east wall, readying their sensors for the voyage. Operations officers sat on the other side, pouring over their various screens of radio transmissions, security alerts, and the starship's weapons system. The captain's chair was positioned in the exact center of the large room, two stations directly in front of it. Sulu (who offered her a broad smile) sat at one with another man, well, a boy with unruly hair and the face of a cherub at the other.

"Keptin on ze bridge!" Announced the cherub, his young voice heavily accented.

All activity stopped as their entrance was announced and it did not resume again until Kirk gave a nod of his head. "Ms. Darnell you are free to do as you please," Kirk told her as he stepped onto the bridge, "but if I were you, I would definitely want to see this."

The captain's eyes were aflame with excitement as he clapped Spock on the shoulder, clearly in his element on the bridge. Lina found she liked the young leader more and more, as much as she didn't like having her life dissected.

"Spock, where should we go?"

"I believe I shall defer to your good judgment, Captain," Spock replied with a nod of his head, taking his seat at his station.

A disgruntled Leonard McCoy entered the bridge, his eyes hard and his mouth drawn tight in a thin line of frustration. "Buckle up, Bones!" Jim clapped the doctor on the shoulder, much to his chagrin.

"Five years in space," the doctor muttered with haunted eyes, as the captain gave Sulu a set of coordinates and command of 'warp factor 4' "God help me."

Lina smiled as she watched him sulk, the ship seamlessly shifting to warp beneath them. He either hadn't noticed her yet, or was doing a damned good job of ignoring her. Lina frowned and forced herself to look away from the surly doctor who looked far too good in his blue shirt.

Lina hadn't seen him or even heard from him since she'd called him the night before last and, well, she'd missed him. Lina hated how he managed to reenter her life and having her pining for him after just a few days, but that didn't change the fact that he had. She knew he cared about, knew without a doubt that he had been truthful when he said he would be whatever she needed him to be. Lina just wished she knew what she needed him to be. Of course, she would always want him to be hers but that didn't change the fact that he _had_ been hers once, if only for a little while. And look how that turned out.

Lina suppressed a sigh and moved to stand behind Kirk's chair with her arms clasped respectfully behind her back, resolving herself to track Leonard down after the crew had retired for the night, if only just to hear him gripe about his day.

Lina was drawn from her thoughts by Kirk beginning a shipewide broadcast over the com, "This is Captain Kirk, welcoming all of you back aboard. We've been tried and, against all odds, we have endured. The Enterprise and our crew have been rebuilt, better than ever, but not without the consequence of memory. This voyage marks the first of many during our five year mission, during which I am sure we will be tried again and again, we will not falter. We arrive at the planetoid known as Kurva in less than eight minutes and I will lead a small landing party to the surface after a short rest period. Let's settle in for the next five years, shall we? Kirk out."

Kirk cut the connection and stood from the chair, leaving Lina feeling awkward standing behind the empty throne.

"Bones, Spock, Uhura, and Darnell," Kirk addressed them all at once, not continuing until all of the officers stood around him, "Get some rest, I need all of you on your toes when we beam down to Kurva. Make sure you're well equipped, we don't know what's down there," he directed the last part to McCoy who nodded stiffly.

"I'm sure it's all unicorns and rainbows, Captain."

Lina purposefully stood next to Leonard as the captain addressed them, allowing her arm to brush against his as Kirk gave his instructions. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw his expression relax a little, his displeased frown dissipating to a more neutral expression, his eyes softening.

They were instructed to meet on the transport pad at 0600 with PADDs ready and phasers set to stun. That gave them roughly eight hours to rest and regroup before beaming down, a courtesy Lina knew not to grow to expect.

The ship arrived at the destination, seamlessly shifting from warp to idle, and the crew was met with the first glimpses of what they would beaming down to. Lina frowned, not quite sure what she had been expecting but it sure as hell wasn't what she was faced with. It looked like a wad of muck from a horses stall had been balled up and tossed into orbit.

Kurva was a small planetoid with a color pattern of murky brown and moldy green, dotted in placed with thick white clouds. Lina could make out faint bodies of a water like substance on the surface. All signs pointed to a planet that supported some form of life.

"Yep," McCoy mumbled beside her, peering out the display with unsurprised eyes, "unicorns and rainbows. As usual."

**I know, this one feels like filler, right? Don't you worry, the next chapter will contain plenty of fluff and near overdoses of drama and angst. Ye have been warned.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Joxxone, thank you so much for your review! I'm so glad you're enjoying this story **_**and**_** my OC. :'D**

**KennaWynters, thank you for your review! Glad you enjoyed the chapter. :D**

**Sorry about the wait, guys. Work has been crazy insane this week and I just haven't had the time to write. :( Thank you to everyone that has favorite or followed this story, you guys are so awesome. I don't even have words for you.**

**Reviews are greatly appreciated and returned with tones of love and adoration. :D**

**Also, see author's note at the end, please.**

**Xoxo,**

**K.**

_Jocelyn leaned against the doorframe of the small diner, frowning as she watched Leonard McCoy casually check his communicator for what must have been the twentieth time since she had even walked in the door not five minutes ago. Her heart knotted in her chest at the forlorn look on his face which was usually so full of light and life. His kind brown eyes were tired, emphasized by the dark circles beneath them. He checked one more time, checking for a call or message that would never come. He looked so depressed that, for a moment, Jocelyn almost regretted rerouting all of their transmissions to each other into her own device. Almost._

_Jocelyn frowned at the memory of her sister and left her perch in the doorframe, sitting across from Leonard where he loitered miserably in the corner booth, ignoring the untouched meal in front of him. Her little sister had had her claws dug into Leonard McCoy for as long as Jocelyn could remember, while Jocelyn had always loomed just on the edge of his vision, never making his head turn, never receiving the gift of one of his tender smiles. He was so handsome and kind, and so damned wrapped up in Lina that she had never stood a chance to win him over, despite how she tried. Jocelyn smiled as she took her seat, knowing that those days were over now. Thanks to Lina's carelessness with her device around the house and Leonard leaving his in the very same booth they sat in now some weeks before, along with an easily purchased trap-door program, Jocelyn became the lucky recipient of their every message, their every desperate plea in the quest for communication._

_ Leonard's eyes were devoid of emotion when he finally noticed Jocelyn sitting across from him. The smile fell from her face and she wondered for a moment if he could ever look at her the same way he looked at Lina. What did it feel like to be the only woman in Leonard McCoy's world?_

_ "Still haven't heard from her, huh?" She laced her voice with concern, though she knew good and damned well that he hadn't heard from Lina. _

_ Leonard exerted enough energy to raise a brow at Lina's elder sister before looking around as if to see if there was anyone else in the vicinity that she could possibly be speaking to. There wasn't. He'd had only a hand full of conversations with Jocelyn over the years, most of them chiding her to be kinder to Lina. Other than that, Leonard didn't really know anything about Jocelyn, except what he had been told by Lina but he couldn't shake the feeling that the concern in her voice didn't quite match her eyes. He didn't answer her._

_ "It's been four months," Jocelyn placed her hand over his on the table top with a sympathetic smile, "it seems like she would have at least written you by now. Video calls may be impossible wherever she is but Lina could at least type out a simple transmission to let everyone know she's still alive." Plant the seeds of doubt in his mind and watch him allow the roots to spread._

_ "She's busy," Leonard retorted finally, snatching his hand away, not fond of the way he'd enjoyed the warmth of it. He was exhausted; he'd begun seeing patients in Ellisville General while Lina finished her internship in the Andorian hospital station. He often pulled shifts of 72 or 48 hours and on the rare occasion that he was home, Leonard couldn't sleep. Not until he'd heard from Lina. _

_ "She's selfish," Jocelyn replied simply, unperturbed by his surliness. She flagged the waitress down and ordered a glass of apple juice. At 11 pm. Who does that? _

_ "How well do you even know your sister," Leonard ground out, all together displeased with everything and nothing in general. _

_ "I know as soon as she got the chance she's run off to space, just like she always dreamed of, and left everyone who ever cared about her behind without so much as a word since she's gone." Jocelyn shrugged, her voice softening as she leaned across the table where McCoy reluctantly met her gaze, "I know she hasn't written you a word, even after she promised she would. How well do _you_ really know her?"_

_ Leonard stood, mumbling a goodbye (he may have been exhausted and tested beyond his limits but he was still a gentleman, damnit), and slugged out of the diner. The Georgia night air felt good washing over his face as he turned his tired eyes up to the night sky, wondering what the hell made it so special. It was dark, starless. Dissatisfied, McCoy checked his communicator one last time before heading home. Nothing. Not like he'd expected anything else, at that point anyway._

* * *

"Lina."

Lina glanced up from her PADD with a smile as the elevator door slid open to reveal Spock, the corners of his mouth slightly elevated. "Spock," she returned his greeting and moved over to accommodate him in the small space.

He entered with a tip of his head, crossing his arms behind his back as the elevator resumed its descent. "I trust you have located your assigned room," the Vulcan gestured to her PADD, which Lina had been scrolling through for exactly that reason.

She nodded, "I trust you'll be escorting me to them, regardless."

"Affirmative."

Lina and Spock had barely spoken, if at all, since she had been removed from Starfleet two years before and even before then their contact had been limited as the two friends lived very busy lives, focused entirely on their careers aboard different starships. Regardless, they settled into their old academy routine seamlessly, in which Spock always escorted Lina home.

Spock had come into her life in a time when she had no one and she'd been little more than a mess of a human being. He'd served as a rock, a constant source of strength and logic, in a time when Lina only knew hurt and instability. He tested her mind, serving as a constant distraction from her heartache and when the memories kept her awake at night, he lent a pointed ear; Spock never judged her, he only listened when Lina needed him to. "I never thanked you for recommending me to the high command, Spock." Lina gave her friend a sideways glance as they navigated the glistening halls of the Enterprise, "I wouldn't be here without you. Thank you, Spock."

"I am pleased that you agreed to join us, Lina. I could not allow you to continue to be deprived of your license to practice medicine after the truth about Admiral Marcus had come to light. Your talents as a doctor were wasted as an antiques dealer."

Lina chuckled to herself, not expecting a simple 'you're welcome' from Spock. She had petitioned the high command several times to reinstate her license, and always her motion had been postponed. If Spock hadn't spoken up for her, Lina knew she would have gone much longer without her license. She wondered if there would ever be a time when the Vulcan didn't have to bail her ass out of the fire. "Thanks, Spock," she reiterated, jumping slightly when someone looped their arm through hers from behind.

"Ah, Nyota," Spock's voice remained neutral and yet his eyes were positively aflame with adoration as he beheld the other woman. "I trust I shall soon be dismissed to allow for proper reacquainting between Lina and yourself?"

"Correct as usual," Uhura beamed, shooing Spock away with a flick of her delicate wrist, "these are Lina's quarters anyway."

Knowing Spock would not be able to refrain himself from advising them to get adequate rest before the upcoming mission, Uhura planted a small kiss on the side of Spock's mouth, effectively flustering the Vulcan, "We won't be long," she promised as Lina typed her security code into the pad outside of her door, "I just want to do some catching up with Lina."

Spock bid them farewell, unwilling to suffer Uhura's chagrin.

Her room was larger than Lina expected, though the extra space was not unwelcomed. Lina didn't care for small, closed environments. The walls were bare, save for one shelf built into the wall for personal effects, where she would ultimately place her books and photographs. There were two small chairs situated near the shelf and a television built into the wall on the opposite side of the room. Besides this, the room had a small shower facility and walk-in closet for extra uniforms and a small amount of civilian clothing. A decent sized table rested beside the very same bed that Uhura sat upon with a plop, crossing her legs next to Lina's duffle bag.

"How have you been, Lina?" Uhura was nearly two years Lina's junior and yet her dark eyes and soothing voice had always reminded Lina of a mother figure; Lina had always found comfort in Nyota's presence.

Lina offered her old friend a smile and took a seat in one of the chairs, finding it far more comfortable than it looked, and heaved a sigh as she let her hair down. She drew her legs up into the chair, "I've been," Lina searched her mind for the adequate word. Her mind kept settling on a simple 'good' which didn't seem to fit. Not when she'd had the man she'd thought to have been the love of her life and her career thrust back into her lap within a week. No, good just wouldn't do. "Good." _Nevermind then._

Uhura nodded, her smile not quite reaching her eyes, "I've worried about you," she trailed off, reluctant to bring up the details of Lina's trial or the last two years. After a moment, Nyota cleared her throat, "And you completely stood me up last week." The woman rolled her neck, adopting her haughtiest expression. Which was never hard for Uhura to manage.

Lina frowned, confused. When had she stood up Nyota? Then it hit her like a splash of water. She'd been sitting at the bar, enjoying a shot of Jack and waiting for Uhura to arrive so that they could properly catch up and talk about Lina's exciting new position aboard the newly rechristened Enterprise when she had had the nagging feeling that someone was watching her. She turned out of innocent curiosity, only to lock eyes with none other with Leonard McCoy. Lina never thought she'd see those brown eyes again and to see him there, staring at her in awed silence, as if she were the only girl in the world had proved too much. She'd fled, completely forgetting her friend.

"I'm so sorry," Lina managed a stammer out after a moment, clearing her throat. "I uh-. Um. I, um."

"Suck at excuses?" Uhura offered with a smug smile.

"Yes," Lina agreed, defeated, "yes, I do." For a moment it almost seemed tempting to tell Uhura everything, the whole truth. Of course, Nyota knew what had caused Lina to move out west, why she had joined Starfleet. She knew every detail, much like Spock, and much like Spock she also was kept in ignorance of one detail. His name. Lina could never bring herself to give it away, like a precious memory she couldn't tarnish.

"You'll tell me eventually," Uhura observed, as if she could read Lina's every thought. For the most part, she had always been able to do exactly that.

"I'm sure that I will," Lina agreed with a small laugh. Their friendship was an odd one, sparked by a chance conversation, and yet it had grown to be one of Lina's most cherished relationships. There was no one alive in any world that Lina would not tear down on behalf of Nyota Uhura. Since the day the willowy beauty had first jogged up beside Lina on the track outside of Starfleet's fitness facilities and made the inquiry as to Commander Spock's availability, Lina was wrapped around her finger.

"So Sulu seems to think that you're made out of solid gold," Uhura pushed after a moment, already anticipating how the conversation would end. Uhura had fast learned that any talk of relationships usually led to a bottle of bourbon and a good deal of tears with Lina and so she rarely pushed the subject. With the exception of this one time, as she adored Sulu and wanted more than anything for Lina to have a chance at happiness, to move on and leave the infamous 'Dr. Jerk McAssHead' in the past.

"Ijustwantyoutobehappy," she blurted before Lina could frown and change the subject.

"I _am_ happy," Lina couldn't be cross with Nyota if she wanted to, not with the concern and genuine caring etched onto the woman's every feature. "And I just met him a few days ago," Lina continued with a shrug, "he saw me sparring with a battle bot and complimented my technique."

"I'm sure he went nuts over your xenobotany degree," Uhura chuckled to herself.

"And my weapons collection," Lina smiled sadly, knowing in her heart she would never be able to give him a chance, no matter how similar their interests or how charming he was. Her heart had always belonged to someone else, someone probably cursing up a storm in the med bay at that very moment.

"Lina, are you ever going to let yourself move on?" Uhura moved to sit in the chair opposite Lina, already knowing the answer. "He's been out of your life for _nine_ years," she added gently, placing her hand over Lina's with an understanding smile.

Lina looked at her friend for a long moment, resolving herself right then to tell the truth. Somehow. Now that she had made her decision, Lina found the words impossible to find. _What do you say in this situation?_ She mused to her_, hey, you remember that asshole I told you about that I practically spent my entire life beside? Yeah, the one that I've conditioned you to hate with my recollections of how he took my virginity and then married my sister? Yeah, he's your ship's beloved doctor and colleague. Surprise!_

"What is it?" Uhura squeezed Lina's hand, sensing her inner turmoil. "You can tell me, Lina."

"He found me," Lina murmured finally, unwilling to be met with the utter concern oozing from Uhura's deep eyes. "Well, I don't think he was looking for me. He seemed just as surprised as I was," Lina laughed lightly as she recalled his face in the bar.

"What?" Uhura's eyes widened, her voice flat.

"Last week," Lina explained sheepishly, gnawing her bottom lip. "Remember when I blew you off?"

Uhura gasped, "_No!"_

"Yep."

"That's why you weren't there?" Uhura slugged Lina in the arm, far harder than necessary. "Is that why you weren't there? Did you _leave _with him?"

"No!" Lina returned Uhura's blow, deciding whether or not to leave out the nights that she had spent with him. "I left to get away from him."

"Let's just start over, okay?" Uhura shook her head, rubbing her arm absently, "Let me get this straight. This is _the_ guy, right? Dr. Jerk McAssHead?"

Lina smiled slightly at the alias she had drunkenly given Leonard years ago, wondering how he would react to it if he ever found out. "Yep."

"And you bumped into him at McHellan's Bar last week?"

"Yep."

"What happened after that? Have you seen him since?" Uhura narrowed her eyes, saying without saying that she was watching Lina's every move.

"He found my house and I _may_ have let him inside," Lina gnawed on her lip, unsure how Uhura would react. She certainly didn't expect the embrace that followed and hesitated slightly before returned Uhura's hug.

"Are you okay?" Uhura smoothed down Lina's hair, expecting the tears to start flowing at any moment. Strangely, they never did.

"Yeah," Lina pulled herself from Uhura's embrace having shocked herself with the confession as much as she had Uhura. "I really am."

"What was he like?"

"Older." Lina smiled as Uhura let out a frustrated sigh.

"Don't make me punch you again," Uhura frowned, nudging Lina to emphasize her light threat. "What was he like?"

"He was remorseful," Lina ran a hand through her hair, unsure how to describe him without giving too much away. "A little grumpier. Other than that, he's the same kind, gentle, brown eyed boy that I grew up with."

"Lina," Uhura shared her frown, worry etched onto her tawny face. "What are you going to do? You just signed on for five years in _space_. You can't expect anything to come out of this."

"He understands my situation," Lina shrugged, unwilling to share anymore. She didn't know what she expected, she only knew she wanted this conversation to end. Her thoughts flashed to Leonard, probably seated at his station in the medbay and pouring his all into synthesizing new vaccines, despite their order to rest.

Uhura offered Lina a smile, squeezing her hand. She knew the conversation was coming to a close and had honestly been surprised to have gotten that much out of Lina. When she had met Lina, it had been three years since the ordeal and the wounds were still raw. She worried for her. Uhura knew Lina wouldn't survive being hurt so badly again. "I just don't want you to be hurt again."

"Yeah," Lina agreed solemnly, knowing it was already too late to save herself, "me neither."

A good while later, Uhura bid Lina goodnight with a yawn before she left for her own quarters. Lina, finally alone with her thoughts, wasted no time in getting a shower and throwing on a clean uniform, unwilling to be seen in the halls in her civilian attire. Not that it was against any rules, she simply enjoyed the somewhat mysterious air surrounding her new position and didn't want to spoil the allure by being seen wandering around the Enterprise in her pajamas.

* * *

She found him exactly as she had imagined she would. Leonard sat alone in the darkened medbay, pouring over his PADD with his head propped in one hand, absently tapping his fingers against his dark hair as he concentrated. The bay itself was empty as any of the crew had yet to injure or disfigure themselves and for the lack of activity and the late hour, Leonard had obviously given the order for his staff to rest, for which Lina was grateful.

Lina contented herself to watching him for a moment, enjoying the way his mouth screwed up in concentration. He was so handsome as he sat there, lost in his thoughts; he had grown to look just like his father, in body and mannerisms. He had yet to notice her looming beside of the empty biobeds, not that he would anyway. When something had Leonard McCoy's attentions, it was all or nothing. The sight took her back to their days in medical school together, her memory flashing back to the hours they spent in the university library together, pouring over medical texts and files. She would watch him over the top of her book, watch the way his brows furrowed as his eyes danced over the pages as he read, the way he would sometimes mouth the words as he devoured them. They never had to speak, never had to touch to know that the other was there. They just knew, and that in itself was comforting.

Wordlessly, Lina crossed the dimmed bay to sit in the chair next to his, drawing her legs up into the seat. She hadn't realized how much she had missed him until she could feel the warmth of his body next to her, until she could breathe in his scent. She wanted to be stronger, to deny him the way she had been denied in the past. Lina wanted to get up and walk away and spare herself the pain that she knew she ultimately had coming to her; but she didn't.

"I've missed you."

His voice drew her out of her reverie and though he hadn't taken his eyes away from his PADD, a small smile formed on his lips where his concentrated frown had been.

"You look like your dad," Lina scooted her chair closer to his, leaning her head on his shoulder as she peered down at the file opened on his PADD. It was a study on HSAN, a rare condition in which the patient feels no pain whatsoever. Lina frowned, not at the familiar subject, but at the subject matter. Old habits, as it turned out, really did die hard; Leonard's mind was troubled and he'd turned to bizarre medical phenomena to distract himself.

"You always said my dad was hot," McCoy raised a brow in her direction, wondering if she'd leaned into him purposefully or subconsciously. Either way, he sure as hell wasn't complaining.

"He was," she replied simply, ignoring the stupid, smug grin he wore, "very. What are you doing?" She scooched his PADD closer to her and scrolled through the notes, giving him the option to open up to her.

"I couldn't sleep," McCoy shrugged, "The medbay is empty and stocked properly, so I figured I would use the downtime to catch up on some reading."

"By reading case files you've already read a thousand times?" Lina glanced up him through her lashes, already anticipating his reluctance to reveal his troubles to her. "What's bugging you?"

Leonard sighed, wiping his face with his hand as he chose his words, "You seemed pretty chummy with Sulu earlier." McCoy felt like a school girl bringing it up and hated everything about the situation. It wasn't any of his business if Sulu had a thing for Lina, nor was it any of his business as to how close her relationship was with the other man. He had forfeited that right long ago and he knew it. That's what ate at him; Bones hated that fact most of all.

Lina couldn't fight the smile growing on her lips at his confession and decided to ease his mind rather than taunting him as she had with her friendship with Spock. "I met him a couple of days ago at the gym," he told him with a smile, not willing to lift her head from the warmth of his shoulder. "He seems nice enough, but there seems to be someone that I just can't quite get over."

_So that's why that bastard was so happy_, McCoy's mind flashed back to the day Sulu had sauntered into the academy's mess hall wearing that idiotic grin before the gravity of Lina's words truly penetrated his exhausted mind. Had she just admitted she couldn't get over him? _Christ man, get it together. You're a full grown man now act like it. _"Is there now?" His smile was poorly hidden.

"Mmhmm," Lina admitted against her better judgment. Speaking with Uhura earlier had managed to open Lina's confessionary floodgates, resolving Lina to the very real fact she and Leonard would be stuck together on the same ship for five years. Part of her still wanted to walk away, and yet she knew that she couldn't. Not again. "Is that what's been keeping you awake?"

McCoy's smile faded slightly. After nine years, she still knew him like the back of her hand. _How did I ever let you go?_ "I'm not tired," he lied lamely, knowing good and well she knew it too, "besides, there's work to be done."

Lina raised a skeptical brow, glancing around the deserted medbay, "Making your rounds, Doctor?"

Her expression immediately softened at the sad, tired smile he offered in reply. In that moment, in the dim glow given off by the work station's desk lamp, Lina glimpsed the haunted look in his eyes and she knew whatever kept him awake was something rooted far deeper than any mere male competition. His face was one plagued by memory. Any slight that she tried to hold onto, any restraint she had meant to show with him disappeared then, seconded by his need for comfort. "It's okay to have nightmares," Lina murmured dumbly, awkwardly looping her arms around his neck from her chair.

McCoy pulled her onto his lap and crushed Lina against, drinking in the feel of Lina against him. He'd barely slept at all since the last time he had spoken to her and, as always, the first few nights aboard the starship were always the worst for him. That's when the dreams were the most vivid, most violent. He tended to avoid his room all together during the first days, save for showering and changing, as Bones knew that as soon as his head hit the pillow he would be faced with those he'd failed.

Lina massaged her fingers into his hair, knowing the action soothed him. Leonard was rigid as he held her against him, she could feel his heart pounding in his chest and she knew that whatever was keeping him awake, well, it was awful. "You can tell me," she whispered against his ear, pressing a small kiss to his temple.

In that moment, the last nine years meant nothing to Lina. Her pain, her rejection, she didn't care. Leonard had spent so long being strong for her, fighting her battles so that she wouldn't have to, and Lina couldn't even count the nights that he had held her until she'd dozed off and now that he needed her to do the same, Lina couldn't turn away. She knew he would never ask her to, that he didn't feel as if he had the right to ask anything of her, even though he needed her; she also knew right then that she couldn't carry in such a way. If he needed her, Lina would be there. Simple as that.

"It was our maiden voyage," Leonard said finally, his voice hollow as he spoke from the crook of her neck. "We were responding to a distress call from Vulcan."

Lina remembered the day well, had she not been removed from Starfleet only days prior, she would have been aboard the Moffat when it warped into the crisis zone and was gunned down by the Romulans.

"I was on deck six when it took on enemy fire. A lot of people died instantly, including CMO Puri, and even more people were injured. There were body parts and blood everywhere and barely enough staff left standing to put anyone back together." Leonard paused for a long moment and Lina knew he was trying to clear the images from his conscience. "We lost too many that day."

She knew there was so much he wasn't telling her, so much that he didn't realize. Leonard would never realize that he was brave, that he was a hero. He would never think of himself that way, not when someone had died on his watch. He'd stepped up in the face of tragedy, not for recognition or by command, but because it was what needed to be done at the time. He'd been up to his elbows in the blood of his crew, of his friends and colleagues and had saved dozens, but that would always be left out of his mind.

"How many did you save?"

"I lost sixteen. That's the only number that matters," he replied hoarsely, unburying his face from her neck and peering up at Lina, searching her face for judgment, as if she would blame him the way the ghosts in his dreams blamed him. He found nothing of the sort.

"You did what you could, more than you could," Lina cupped his face in her hands and pressed a featherlight kiss against his lips, "there's so much more to you than you realize." With that, Lina stood, taking the doctor by his hand as she did so. "Let's go."

Lina stayed hugged into Leonard's side as they walked to his quarters, thankful that the CMO and all of the medical staff, for that matter, were housed near the medbay. She was enjoying the familiarity of the way that she fit against him, the way that their hands still fit perfectly together after so much time. The hardened shell that Lina had struggled to build around her heart all but dissipated; she'd missed him being next to her, had missed their talks, the way he tested and teased her. No one had ever managed to fit against her the way he had, to fully complete her like Leonard McCoy completed her, and Lina knew she still didn't stand a chance in hell at moving on. She never had when it came to him.

Lina stopped to watch him as he effortlessly typed his entrance code into the security pad outside his door, the dim light given off by the device highlighting his strong profile. Despite his exhaustion, Leonard seemed almost relaxed as the door slid open.

Always the example of a fine, Southern gentleman, McCoy allowed Lina to enter first. His quarters were larger than hers and, as he had been employed on the Enterprise for years, they had acquired his personal taste. They entered into a sitting room crowned by a large couch and two chairs, all of which were cluttered with medical texts and papers. Lina couldn't fight her smile, remembering the way he teased her for her fondness of paper bound books. Archaic, he called them. On the adjacent wall hung a portrait of his late father, his smile as bright as the surgical whites he wore. The portrait was flanked by a large shelf, built into the wall, which held more texts, a few choice bottles of bourbon, and to Lina's absolute delight, an old skull.

"No way," Lina practically darted across the room to retrieve the bone relic from its perch with the fervor of a small child. She giggled to herself a she swiveled the mandible, making the skull's teeth chatter. "Hello, Sampson."

'Sampson' as Lina had christened the head, had been the skull of a thirty-eight year old Caucasian male whom had graciously donated his body to science in the late 21st century, a time when doctors still cut and sewed their patients as if they were garments. His bones had wound up in the anatomy lab of Ole Miss University where a young, and rather bored, Lina Darnell had curiously mapped his facial tissues and bone structures to recreate his appearance and found the result to be quite handsome. That night, McCoy returned home and plopped down at the dinner table to find two hollow eye sockets peering back him and the damned head continued to sit in the center of their dining room table ever since.

"I can't believe you kept this," Lina returned Sampson to his perch with a fond smile, allowing herself to lean back into the warmth of Leonard's chest as he came to stand behind her.

"I can't believe that you stole the damned thing to begin with," she could practically hear his eyes roll, feel his smirk against the back of her head as he rest his head atop hers, "but I couldn't get rid of it," he murmured into her hair, thoughtlessly circling his arms around her waist, "it was the only thing that I had left of you."

Lina closed her eyes, allowing his heady scent and the steady beat of his heart against her back to lull her, "Hey, Leonard?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if I hadn't taken that internship? If I hadn't gone to Andoria?" She certainly did. Every single day.

"Every day," McCoy brushed the curls away from her neck, allowing his lips to linger as he pressed a soft kiss against the sensitive flesh there. "I think about it every day, and it hasn't done me any good. I lost you; I let myself lose you, Lina. I still haven't forgiven myself."

"I'm here now." She'd long since silenced that voice that nagged in the back of her mind, warning her away from him. They needed each other, they always had and God knows they had suffered enough in the last few years; they had been gifted a chance, a rare opportunity to try to begin again. Could she really turn away from that? Could she deny not only herself, but him that chance? Lina silenced those thoughts as well, turning to meet his lips. There would be other times to worry over the complicated truths of their relationship. All that mattered in that moment was the overworked, heartsick doctor that knotted his hands in her hair, his lips exploring hers as if for the very first time.

Heat flooded her senses as his legendary hands slipped out of her hair, one gently cupping the nape of her neck as the other skimmed down her spine, barely making contact and yet causing a barrage of shivers to spread from his touch. Lina sighed against his lips, clutching his shirt to keep from toppling over as her knees weakened.

Leonard pressed one last kiss to her lips, relishing in her breathlessness as he playfully brushed his nose against hers. For the moment he allowed himself to believe that he deserved this, that somehow he had been gifted with her forgiveness. McCoy wanted Lina, all of her; he _needed_ her. He wanted to be the source of her laughter, to be her safe haven as he once had, to be the one that she turned to. The look in her eyes as Lina peered up at him, her chest heaving with want, dared him to hope that he could be again. She hadn't looked at him like that since they were young and dumb, like he was the only man in the world. It thrilled him and terrified him all the same.

McCoy distracted Lina with another kiss, scooping her small frame up into his arms and carrying her into the bedroom, eager to both escape the tender intensity of her cornflower blue eyes and get a good night's sleep with her snuggled in next to him. Gently, he laid Lina on his bed, kneeling above her and capturing her lips in a heated kiss before rolling off of her to remove his boots and uniform as Lina watched from the bed.

She stood as he crawled into the bed and removed her own uniform, taking special care to make slow work of the simple, black ensemble. She could feel his eyes sweeping over her from the bed before he finally groaned. "You're doing that on purpose."

"Remind you of anyone?" Lina cocked a brow and crawled into the bed next to him, curling into his chest.

He waggled his brows, tilting her chin up so that their lips met. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Mmhmm," Lina agreed sarcastically, "roll over."

"I beg your pardon?" His eyes gleamed with amusement through the darkness, his voice amused.

"You heard me," Lina gave his shoulder a small nudge, "roll over. I want to be the big spoon."

"The big spoon?" McCoy chuckled, rolling so that his back faced Lina. She wasted no time in snuggling as close to him as she anatomically could and he soon found himself enveloped in her slender arms as Lina nuzzled his neck.

"Shut up," she chided lightly, finally settling in behind him. "You spent years holding onto me; it's my turn to hold you."

Bones smiled with heavy eyes at her matter of fact tone. He had been living on espresso shots for a good two days straight, unwilling to close his eyes and face the past. With Lina there, relaxation came naturally; the stress of the medbay, the memories, it all just faded away with her next to him. Leonard McCoy's only focus was the girl next to him, trying her best to offer him some comfort, not knowing she'd given him so much more; she'd let him in, asked him to stay, admitted she still cared, and she'd proven that she did. She'd given him the chance to reenter her life. He had hurt her, he'd nearly destroyed her in the past and yet there she was with her arms wrapped around him so that he could sleep peacefully. Slowly, he could feel her coming back to him.

"Hey, Leonard?" Lina tightened her hold on him, snuggling even closer into his back with a tired, relaxed sigh.

"Hmm?" he was barely hanging onto consciousness, her warmth and touch lulling the doctor into a state of near intoxication. He felt her smile against the crook of his neck.

"I-" she paused, rearranging her thoughts before giving him a quick peck behind the ear, "Good night, Leonard."

He smiled just as sleep claimed him. "Good night, Lina." _I love you too._

**So, remember all of the angst and drama that I promised in this chapter? Yeah, I lied. **_**Next**_** chapter though, scout's honor. I'm at nearly six thousand words and they haven't even beamed down to Kurva (planet hooker, teeheehee) yet so I separated them to avoid posting a 15,000 word chapter. Next chapter will be up sometime tonight hopefully and will contain lots of fun and even more hurt.  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm probably going to do a complete rewrite soon. I'm just not happy with it, everything seems so patched together, and I really want to do this right. I'm not sure. Thoughts? Actually, no, yeah, I'm doing a rewrite. **

**Also, sorry for the wait everyone. I just haven't had the time with work and all and then when I have had the time I've had that awful variation of writer's block, y'know, the one in which you know exactly what is going to happen and yet you just can't write. Yeah, that. But, alas! Here we are. **

**And thank you to everyone that has followed or favorited this story. I just wish I could take all of you on a shopping spree and buy you pretty things because you wonderful people **_**deserve**_** those pretty things.**

**KennaWynters- I've actually already had that particular scene (in which Lina finds out) written for some time now and I cannot wait to post it. :) Thanks for reviewing! You're my fave!**

**Rose1324- Thank you for your review! You've made me just so happy!**

**Also guys, just get used to the idea of 9,000 word chapters, okay? I'm sorry, I can't help myself. Forgive me? Also, see the A/N at the bottom?**

**xoxoxox**

_Leonard McCoy downed another shot of Jack and signaled the bartender for another, somewhat oblivious to the (rather irritated) blonde seated on the stool at his side. Maybe she'd moved on. Maybe he had sheltered her too much so that when pure, pristine Lina got a taste of life out from underneath his overprotective wings, she'd made a run for it. Maybe all it had taken for the pedestal Lina had placed him upon to crumble was a little time away. Maybe that taste of freedom offered her more than he ever could._

_ McCoy downed another shot and forced himself to swallow the maybes. It had been nearly seven months since he'd seen her off at that shuttle yard which, consequently, had also been the last time he had heard from her. There had been one very short, very fuzzy video call during the fifth month that consisted of eleven seconds of 'Can you hear me?'s and frustrated growls but other than that, nothing. At that point, McCoy would have settled for a "Go to hell" as long as it came from Lina, anything to let him know that she was at least thinking of him. He needed something, anything, to quell the voice in the back of his mind. It had rooted deep into his conscience over the months, constantly nagging and clawing at the edges of his exhausted mind, feeding the doctor a stream of fears and insecurities. _

_ McCoy hated her, hated how much he'd grown to depend on her. He'd stupidly always assumed that it was the other way around, that Lina depended on him for guardianship and strength and yet, the doctor had never felt more alone. He felt small, insignificant without Lina there. He needed her and what hurt the most was the fact that she just didn't need him the same way._

_ The voice continued its whisperings despite McCoy attempting to drown it with another shot; maybe he had Stockholmed Lina into loving him. The more he entertained the notion, the more it made sense. Lina had never had a chance with anyone else because she spent all of her time with _him. _McCoy groaned and crossed his arms on the bar before practically slamming his head upon them and cursing everything in existence, including Jack Daniels. Half a bottle in and the bastard still hadn't helped him. Had he really been so stupid to believe that Lina would be his forever? _

_ "Did you really think she would follow you around like a lost puppy forever?"_

_ McCoy reluctantly lifted his heavy head, having momentarily forgotten Jocelyn sitting next to him. Had she come with him or did she arrive later? He didn't remember, but her presence wasn't unwelcome anymore. She sort of reminded him of Lina in a very small, very vague way. It wasn't in the way that Jocelyn looked, no, she barely looked like Lina at all; she was too tall, too willowy, with too green eyes, and her hair too brown to look like Lina. Of course, he was being unfair; it wasn't as if Jocelyn wasn't beautiful because she certainly was. But his comfort in her presence stemmed from something else, something more subtle. _

_ Jocelyn gave him a small, sympathetic smile as she swept her emerald eyes over his face, sitting rather awkwardly on her barstool. That was it, it was that tiny smile she offered, the way she tilted her head slightly when she spoke. Those subtle mannerisms were few of many that she shared with her sister, despite their differences in personality. It was those small similarities that McCoy found comfort in and drank in greedily. _

_ Jocelyn had grown on him during the last few weeks, between her visits to the hospital during his rare breaks and her understanding of his emotional state, he sort of liked her. At first he kept her around purely for his selfish need for something, anything to remind him of Lina but now, well, he didn't mind her. _

_ "Sorry," he muttered after a moment, running a weary hand through his already ruffled hair. "It seems I'm not the best host these days."_

_ Jocelyn shrugged and adjusted her position on the stool so that she could comfortably lean one elbow on the bar as she faced him, another familiar stance she shared with her sister, "I still enjoy your company."_

_ She'd already done what she'd set out to do, what she needed to do. She'd torn a rift between the two, given them time and cause to doubt each other, and seen the slow build of anger beginning to replace misery in Leonard. He no longer checked his communicator or emails every minute, nor did he constantly glance up towards the sky, as if he could see Lina there. He was losing faith in her and Jocelyn knew her sister well enough to know that she was doing much the same. _

_ Leonard declined another shot from the bartender and Jocelyn knew he had done so for her benefit, a thought which caused her heart to flutter. He was slowly coming around to her, even confiding in her now. True, he spent most of his time in the beginning pining for Lina, but now it seemed that he found some solace around her. "Thanks for sticking around," he offered her his genuine smile, one that Jocelyn hadn't seen in ages._

_ "Of course," she stammered out after a moment, shifting under the weight of the gratitude in his sable eyes. A twinge of guilt nearly worked its way into her mind, one that she quickly squashed away. Jocelyn couldn't afford the luxury of a conscience, especially now that Leonard McCoy was coming around to her. No, she would use every weapon in her arsenal charms to win him, no matter the cost. Guilt be damned. _

_ "I imagined you to be different," Leonard leaned his head on his hand as the murmurings of the bar's other patrons began to sound more like roars against his weary ears. The bourbon, it seemed, had succeeded in loosening his tongue where it had failed to silence the nagging voice in his mind. _

_ "We've never had a chance to get to know each other," Jocelyn pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, hiding her smile as she shifted on the stool. "All you know about me is-" she trailed off, gnawing on her lip nervously._

_ "What Lina told me," McCoy finished for her, not caring for the way he'd begun to imagine how her lips would feel under his own. He shook it off, blaming it on the alcohol and the memories of Lina chewing on her own lip as she peered up at him through her lashes. _

_ "C'mon," Jocelyn stood and looped her arm through his, effectively pulling McCoy from his stool. "Let's get you out of here before those thoughts come back, okay? Besides, you've got to work tomorrow, Doctor."_

_ McCoy paid the bartender and followed Jocelyn complacently, not even bothering to shrug away from the warmth of her side and hating himself for enjoying the feel of her next to him. "Thanks," he muttered as they stepped out into the bleak Georgia night._

_ "You don't have to keep thanking me," Jocelyn smiled modestly as she climbed into the driver's seat of his car, allowing the seat to adjust itself to her specifications, "when is the last time you actually let someone take care of you?"_

_ From the corner of her eye, she saw him frown in concentration as he mulled over the answer. _

_ Across the desolate parking lot Harold McCoy looked on with wide eyes as his cousin staggered out of the bar next to none other than Satan, as Lina had so fondly referred to her older sister. Despite his shock, Harold managed to snap a picture as Leonard tossed, for the life of him Harry couldn't remember the woman's name, her his keys and allowed himself to be driven home. Harry frowned as he stared down at the picture, unsure as to whether he should just delete it and move on. Things hadn't been right in Ellisville since Lina left a few months back and though he wasn't quite sure just what in the hell was going on, Harry sure knew it wasn't right. He just knew he had to find out. He'd be talking to Leonard _very_ soon._

* * *

Lina awoke with a sigh and snuggled further into the pillow, certain that she must have died sometime during the night and had, by some legislative mistake, been admitted into heaven. The warmth of the large, cloudlike bed around her and the familiar, heady scent of Leonard McCoy enveloping Lina's senses did little to convince her otherwise; neither, for that matter, did the soft lips trailing lazy kisses across her bare shoulders.

She felt Leonard smile against her shoulder blade as he pressed another kiss there, brushing her hair aside, "Rise and shine."

Lina reluctantly opened one eye to glance at the clock on his bedside table and moaned in frustration to find that it was already 0500; they had barely under an hour to report to the transport pad. On top of that, beta shift would be ending soon which meant that the halls would be full of crewman which would render leaving the CMO's quarters undetected practically impossible. As much as Lina didn't want to abandon the moment, she also didn't want to attract the curious glances and whispers of the crew, not when she and Leonard had only just managed to reestablish their fragile connection.

Lina stretched lazily and rolled onto her back to peer up at the doctor. He smiled down at her as she looped her arms around his neck, the expression becoming more and more natural on his face. Lina's heart fluttered foolishly at the sight of his grin, her memory assaulting her with visions of that same, easy smile from years before. "You're up early," she smiled finally, twirling her fingers into his damp hair.

"I had to wash an ocean of drool off of my back," he teased; McCoy resisted the urge to shiver at her touch and distracted himself by claiming Lina's sleepy pout in what he had meant to be a quick, chaste kiss. His good intentions quickly unraveled as Lina melted into him, her hands sliding out of his hair to grip his shirt. The mission that loomed ever nearer faded into the back of his mind as Lina breathed his name against his lips, her back arching by its own volition.

The woman had always had a talent for turning him into a damned fool without even trying; every little thing she did, every smile and laugh, every time she said his name just pushed him further over the edge. Lina Darnell had become, no, she had always _been_ his drug; she erased all sensibility in a sensible man. He almost breathed a sigh of relief when she pulled away, allowing him to regain some control over his own mind.

Lina was making her way back to him, becoming more comfortable with him, hell, maybe even forgiving him. He needed her to, but on her own time; McCoy lived in constant fear of pushing her too hard too fast and losing Lina all over again. He'd already watched her walk away from him one time and he had been lucky enough to find her again; McCoy knew he couldn't let her go again.

Lina sat up in the bed and nudged his chest, the gesture contrasted by the gentleness of the kiss she pulled him in for, effectively saving the doctor from his own thoughts. "I don't drool."

McCoy raised a brow as his desire muddled mind worked to decipher the statement before the memory came back to him. He'd been so caught up in the feel of Lina lying beneath him, the feel of her wanting him the way that he wanted her that McCoy had completely forgotten he had called her out on her drooling.

Bones chuckled, tracing small patterns against her back simply because he knew she enjoyed the sensation. "You do."

"Do not," Lina crawled from the bed, trying her best to sound cross and failing miserably. She had missed their pointless arguments, missed picking fights with him just to hear the kind, jovial Leonard McCoy grumble. Of course, he seemed to grumble a lot more now than he did in the old days.

"You do," Leonard averted his eyes as Lina shimmied into her uniform. Lina had already done a number on his resolve that morning and he was going to have a hard enough time trekking around some unknown planet with her all day while pretending not to know her. "Like Cousin Harry's bloodhound."

"You snore," Lina retorted as she stepped into her boots, still not managing to muster any form of annoyance in her voice. She knew she drooled a tad, but honestly, who didn't? "You obviously have a narrowed airway, you might want to have me take a look at that."

Leonard rolled his eyes as Lina attempted not to smile at her own quip; he'd never let her know it but Bones loved the way that she found her own little jokes hilarious.

"Very funny," he placed his hand into the small of her back as they left his room, noting with a smile that Lina leaned into his touch, "at least I'll own up to my snoring, slobberpus."

They lingered in the seating area for a moment, despite the importance of their time. Lina would have to leave his quarters within the next few minutes in order to have a moment to shower and change in her own rooms, not to mention to avoid being seen sneaking out of the CMO's rooms by any crewman roaming the halls during the shift changes and yet they were both reluctant to let the moment go. There, in the safety of his lodging, they could find comfort in each other's touch and speak freely. As soon as Lina walked out of his door that luxury was gone. She would assume to stance of the stoic Security Operative and him the surly CMO.

Lina stood on her tiptoes, as McCoy towered over her by nearly a foot, and pressed a small kiss to the corner of his mouth. "I'll see you soon."

Her statement was innocent enough and yet the memory in her eyes betrayed her. Lina loved him, he knew it. Bones could see it written in her eyes, could hear it despite the way the word always seemed to die on the tip of her tongue; in all likelihood, she had never stopped and was only being hindered by her memories. He wondered if Lina knew that those same memories followed him around, too.

"Lina," McCoy reached out and caught Lina's hand as she began to turn away, keeping her with him for just a moment longer. "Listen, I uh, know you don't want to attract any unnecessary attention to us right now so just be careful out there today, okay? You know how I can be when it comes to you and I won't be able to watch out for you like I would like."

Lina squeezed his hand, offering Leonard her small smile, "I'm a big girl now, Leonard. I can handle myself."

McCoy shook his head, a forlorn attempt of a smile gracing his lips, "You'll always be my baby."

His ocher eyes smoldered with sincerity; his words tore at Lina, leaving her feeling exposed and vulnerable. She forced herself to look away from those hazel depths, "I'll be careful."

As soon as Lina found herself alone the voice that she had, in her concern for Leonard, managed to silence the night before came back with a vengeance. _What in the world are you doing, Lina?_

Lina sighed in frustration as she entered the elevator that would take her to deck four, trying to focus only on the hot shower that awaited her there. Of course, that was easier said than done. How could she be so easy? Leonard McCoy had only just come back into her life and there she was, letting him drag her down by the heartstrings all over again.

Not that it was _all _Lina's fault. Leonard had this way of devoting himself wholeheartedly to everything that he did so that when he looked at Lina, when he held her and begged her to let him in, Lina knew that he was sincere. She had always loved that about him. Loving him was easy when he stood right next to her; it came natural to Lina, it was something she had done every day since she first met Leonard McCoy. With him next to her again, smiling and bickering with her, the past didn't seem to matter all that much to Lina, as much as she wanted it to. She wanted to be angry with him, wanted to walk away from him and never look back and yet, she couldn't. Again, Lina found herself hating herself rather than hating Leonard.

Lina knew that, ultimately, she would end up heartbroken again; she knew it was coming and that, this time around, she would have no one else to blame but herself. Despite that fact, Lina didn't want to run. She wanted to dare to dream to of the happiness that they could rebuild together, the life that they _could_ have known together. This was their second chance, was it not? They were broken, wounded and maybe, just maybe, they could heal each other. Sink or swim, Lina decided, they deserved that much.

Lina trudged to her quarters, murmuring distracted hello's to passing crewman, feeling slightly dizzy from the whirlwind of thoughts besieging her weary conscience. Leonard had always done that to her, Lina realized as she dazedly typed in her security code and stepped inside her rooms, he had always made her thoughts scatter like leaves in the wind. Leonard was the chink in her armour, Lina had always known it; he made her weak.

Lina grabbed a fresh uniformed from the closet, decidedly ignoring the still unpacked duffle lying on her unused bed, and ventured into the steam of a warm shower. The water wasn't quite as warm as she would have liked, though that was due to her own negligence, as Lina hadn't altered the default settings before getting in. Still, the water felt good pouring over her head, easing her muscles, and soothing her busy mind.

* * *

Moments later, Lina found herself bouncing on her heels as she impatiently awaited the arrival of the elevator. She had spent just a little too long in the shower, day dreaming of what the surface of Kurva could possibly hold and was now kicking herself as there was no time to stop by the botany bay to grab some collection tubes to take with her to the surface. In fact, Lina noted as she checked her watch, if the cursed elevator didn't hurry along she would be late in meeting the rest of the landing party all together.

Lina had been on surface missions before as CMO aboard the Moffat but she had only ever been to Federation planets, this was _deep space. _Uncharted territory. Lina wasn't so much nervous as excited; the idea of being amongst the first to explore a new world, a world that might hold _life_, thrilled the historian in Lina. Her imagination went wild with possibilities of new animals and fauna that lay just a few thousand kilometers below, waiting to be discovered, so much so that Lina had to take a deep breath to calm herself. It wouldn't do to show up at the transport pad bouncing in excitement on the very first mission. But Lord help her if they came into contact with native _peoples_.

Starfleet's prime directive, as stated in Chapter I, Article II, Paragraph VII, forbade the exchange or revelations of technology with developing nations but not contact with said nations all together. Lina only hoped that, if Kurva were inhabited, that the locals would be welcoming if only for her own selfish desire to meet them.

After what seemed to be an eternity, the elevator finally opened to reveal Hikaru Sulu precariously balancing several collection tubes in his arms. The helmsman's face lit up in a broad smile as he noticed Lina and he quickly moved over to accommodate her in the small space.

"Good morning," he greeted Lina warmly, his smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. Despite the load in his arms, Sulu still reached over to press the button for the Propulsion deck, already knowing Lina's destination. "Are you excited?'

Lina couldn't prevent the excitement she had just managed to contain from bubbling back to the surface. "You have no idea," she answered excitedly, finding Sulu's smile to be contagious.

"I've actually been looking for you," he admitted with a sheepish expression as the door slid shut and the elevator began its descent. "I was hoping that, as a fellow botanist, maybe you could do me a favor?"

Lina raised a brow in the pilot's direction, not able to contain her laugh as he held up the collection vials hopefully. She took them and tucked each vial into the extra spaces in her thigh holster. "And here I was kicking myself for not allotting the time to get down to Botany this morning. You're a life saver."

Sulu cleared his throat to hide his blush, which Lina pretended not to notice. Being friends with Spock had long since taught her that nothing was more irritating that having someone scrutinize your every reaction.

From what she knew of the man, Lina adored Hikaru Sulu. He carried himself with dignity and poise and yet he shone with such an almost childlike aloofness. His disposition was infectious and talking to him was almost like talking to a less weathered version of herself. Lina wasn't vain in any sense and yet it was obvious, to more than just her, that he liked her and for a moment Lina wondered what life would be like if her heart had even been her own to give away; she could be happy with Sulu, he was decent enough. But it didn't matter, Lina's heart had never been hers, not since she first woke up in Ellisville General over twenty years ago. Lina would tread cautiously with Sulu; there was no reason for him to get hurt just because she was broken and bound to someone else.

"The scans of Kurva showed elevated levels of nitrogen and methane," she remarked finally, changing the subject, "indicating that most of the planet may exhibit the characteristics of a wetland."

"I know," Sulu groaned, though he seemed thankful for Lina's attempt at conversation, "I wish I were beaming down instead of manning the comm all day. Wetlands are the perfect environments for irises."

Lina made a mental note to search for any native plant species resembling the iris as the elevator came to a halt, opening up the transporter chamber on the Propulsions deck. "I'll keep an eye out," Lina promised before stepping out into the chamber.

"Good luck," Sulu waved slightly before leaning forward to push the button that would take him to the bridge. Lina returned the gesture before the door slid closed, thankful that the remainder of the landing party had yet to arrive as she had a few more moments to compose herself.

Lina was no stranger to the professional world, nor was she new to a starship; her challenge came in remaining neutral and impassive around Leonard McCoy. This crew was his family, this ship was, although he wouldn't admit it, his home; who was Lina to come in with her less than perfect memories of the man and tamper with the life that he had rebuilt? Although she knew that the truth would come to light eventually, Lina also knew that it didn't have to be any time soon and so she took a deep breath before she turned, swallowing the memory of the doctor's tender gaze from not even an hour earlier.

"Well then, and who might you be?"

Lina spun at the very loud, very Scottish voice to find herself face to face with a pleasant looking older gentleman whose uniform stripes revealed to her as the chief engineer of the Enterprise. His blue eyes narrowed as he summed her up, clearly not used to newcomers in his transport chamber. "Are you our new security person?"

Lina smiled in spite of herself as she nodded and extended her hand, "Lina Darnell."

The engineer shook her hand firmly before he returned to his clipboard, "Montgomery Scott," he introduced himself, "Call me Scotty."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Scotty." Lina liked him instantly; she admired the ire in his eyes and his obvious dedication to the ship for even as he was introducing himself he was hard at work on his PADD. She especially liked the way he didn't dismiss her handshake with an insincere touch the way that most men would often do when a lady extended her hand.

"I'm very excited to be aboard the Enterprise," she knew it would please the engineer to hear that someone else appreciated the wonder of the ship he worked so hard on, not to mention she wanted the man that would soon be responsible for the deconstruction and reformation of her atoms to like her. "I was working on my mechanical engineering studies when they first started building her a few years back."

Lina's words stopped Scotty in his tracks, causing him to look up at her with unabashed curiosity. Lina really liked him. "You studied as an engineer?"

Lina nodded, deciding not to add that she studied xenobotany as well to fill her free time in between shifts at Starfleet general. Lina knew that no one wanted to hear how she filled nearly every minute of her days with work and studies because she was lonely.

"Good," Scotty nodded, seeming to relax, "one less person I have to worry about breaking the ship."

Lina's laugh died as the elevator opened behind her and a very familiar surly southern drawl filled the room. "Well Spock, assuming you call your nonexistent blood pressure and that green stuff flowing through your veins normal, you're good to go."

Lina turned to see that Spock's face remained impassive as Leonard, erm, Dr. McCoy lowered his medical scanner. "Thank you for your insight, Doctor."

Lina couldn't help but smile as she realized what Leonard had done; she'd often done the same thing aboard the Moffat. No one likes medical scans, despite their relative unobtrusiveness. The best way to take care of routine scans before going on any type of field mission was to trap your patients in the elevator where they had no choice but grin and bear it.

"Miss Darnell," Kirk greeted her with a polite nod as he all but rushed from the elevator, leaving Lina to conclude that Leonard hadn't had the proper time to get to his scan. "Are you ready for an adventure?"

"Very much so, Captain," Lina nodded, hiding her smile as Leonard approached Jim from behind with his scanner, oblivious to the captain's groan of protest at having been caught.

"Quit squirming," the doctor chided, his dark eyes focused on his scanner. Lina looked away from him, unsure as to whether or not she had already been staring.

"I'm fine, Bones," the captain growled finally, swatting the scanner away from his face before he turned to address the engineering chief. "Scotty, is the transporter ready?"

Leonard rolled his eyes, grumbling, "I signed up aboard this ship to study medicine, not have my atoms scattered across the universe by that contraption.

"Easy now, Doctor. She's sensitive, y'know," Scotty chided lightly, "the last person to talk about her like that rematerialized completely backwards."

"To suggest that the machine has sentient characteristics is most illogical, Mr. Scott."

Leonard ignored Scotty and Spock and turned to Lina with his scanner in hand. "Ms. Darnell," his voice was neutral but his eyes swept over her form ever so briefly, smoldering when they found hers again.

"My turn, Doctor?" Lina's breath hitched involuntarily as he pressed the scanned against her cheek, his fingertips just barely brushing against her skin. She knew he could both see and feel the blush rising in her cheeks.

"It won't take long," he assured her though Lina noticed he was looking more at her than the screen on his device.

Lina closed her eyes to escape the intensity of his eyes boring into her, trying to focus on keeping her composure in the suddenly too small room. All Lina could think about was the feel of his flesh against hers, his eyes caressing her face. She almost breathed a sigh of relief when Leonard pulled the device away from her face.

"You need to stop cracking your knuckles, Ms. Darnell."

Lina's eyes snapped open at the comment, to which the doctor raised an amused brow as he would to any other patient. It seemed that Leonard was much better an actor than she. "You've got the beginnings of arthritis building in the knuckles of your left hand, probably more from your extensive combat training rather than actually popping your joints."

Lina flexed her hand subconsciously as she followed the doctor over to the transport pad. She'd felt the dull ache building in her hand for a while but had shoved the thought away, thinking nothing of it. A wry smile found its way to her lips. _Leave it to a doctor to ignore their own ailments._ Whatever the case, Lina was merely thankful that the scan was over. She couldn't handle being so close to him without wanting to lean into his touch. Lina wondered if he was struggling at all to retain his cool around her, or if the trial was hers alone.

"There's a hypo for that," Leonard continued, storing his scanner away in its holster as he begrudgingly climbed onto the transport pad. "I expect to see you in medical soon."

Lina nodded, forcing herself to focus more on exchanging polite pleasantries with Uhura and Spock than the slight rasp of the doctor's voice. "Yes, Doctor."

"Alright then, everyone good and ready?" Scotty called from his station, already tapping away on a screen. "It looks like the planet is pretty much marsh but I've got you beaming down on what _should_ be solid ground."

"What do you mean _'should be'_?" Kirk scoffed.

"It'll be fine, don't worry!" Scotty assured them, noticeably avoiding eye contact.

Kirk gave a frustrated sigh, "Energize."

* * *

The surface of Kurva was seemingly nothing more than a densely forested, trackless wasteland. The planetoid was covered nearly completely in murky, brown water and where there _was_ land it was moist and gave easily under pressure. A low fog danced over the swamplands, concealing the surface of the waters from view. Nearly all of the planet lie in shadow as the light from Kurva's three suns failed to penetrate the thick canopy of the cypress-like forest that loomed overhead.

It looked to the small landing party almost as if they had beamed back into the Cretaceous period; the lush forest towered over them and positively howled with the screeches and songs of the wildlife that hadn't bothered to care or notice the five newcomers.

Lina sucked in an excited breath, the remarks of her fellow crewman falling deaf on her ears as she gazed around the muggy lands. She was amongst the first to stand here, and none would ever have that privilege again. Her mind vaguely registered Kirk and Spock conversing with Leonard as Uhura scanned the area for any signs of spoken language but Lina couldn't manage to pull her eyes away from, well, everything. Though it had failed to impress her from above, Kurva was beautiful in its purity.

Lina gazed upward, barely just resisting the urge to point as a bright yellow serpentine creature, no larger than the average garter snake of earth, leapt from one branch to another far above her, extending a pair of leathery wings and gliding across the air. It was soon followed by two more of the same species and then dozens.

McCoy subconsciously patted himself as they reappeared, noting thankfully that he had arrived on the surface in an unaltered condition and on solid ground for that matter. Bones glanced over the crew, checking to make sure they had all arrived in one piece before he took the time to observe his surroundings.

The doctor frowned as he glanced around the rainforest, finding that it looked very similar to South Georgia at the end of a week's worth of rain: everything was green and flooded. It even smelled relatively the same, like the moist decay of plant life and stagnant water. McCoy shrugged internally, at least he wouldn't have to take a running dive off of a cliff into a damned alien ocean this time around. He hoped.

"There are no indications of languages being spoken anywhere near our position, Captain," Uhura pressed a finger to her ear so that she got a clearer reading on the audio feature of PADD. "I'm not getting anything but animal chatter."

"It is possible given the evolving status of this planet that any sentient beings have yet to emerge here," Spock raised a brow as he glanced around, turning his eyes upward as he noticed Lina's fixed stare. "Fascinating."

Kirk grinned like a fool as he watched the flight of the strange creatures above them, "Look at this, Bones!" He slapped the doctor's shoulder jovially, "Flying snakes."

"Oh, joy," McCoy grumbled under his breath, rolling his eyes despite how the notion of exploring a planet without the possibility of hostile natives appealed to him. Leonard McCoy never did care for running for his life.

He sneaked a glance at Lina from the corner of his eye, not able to keep his smile away at the expression of her face. Her eyes sparkled with a childlike wonder as they darted every which direction, trying to take everything in at once and finding each new sight more exciting than the last. She was practically glowing in her glee. God, she was lovely; Bones couldn't help himself as he pulled out his PADD and captured a photograph with the device, storing it under the proper stardate. He looked the image over again as it stored onto the device, frowning in concentration as he zoomed in on the ground at Lina's feet before the doctor looked up to meet the curious stares of his comrades.

Lina quirked a quizzical brow, "Did you get my good side, Doctor?"

"Look _down_, Darnell," McCoy retorted haughtily, playing off the candid shot by distracting the crew with something far more interesting.

They had been so overwhelmed with the sudden onslaught of new sights and sounds on an uncharted planet that none of the crew had noticed that the ground they stood upon in the very moist, very swampy environment was actually very _firm_. There was an audible gasp amongst Uhura and Lina as everyone followed McCoy's gaze down to their feet.

They stood on a large, circular dais formed from a polished stone that vaguely resembled Tiger's Eye. The dais itself was nearly twelve feet in diameter and had been polished to a glossy shine though the only evidence of tool marks on the platform's surface were the series of intricately placed concentric circles inlayed in solid gold. There was one large ring around the rim of the dais, another more towards the center and one slightly askew so that it intersected the other two not unlike a Venn diagram. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the circles represented the three suns of the planet. Another circle, a disk of solid gold lay at Lina's feet, reflecting the single ray of light that did manage to break through the dense canopy above and bathing her in a golden light. She hadn't just been glowing with excitement a few moments before; she was literally glowing.

"Well Spock, I'd say that sentient beings have definitely emerged," McCoy stored away his device and raised a brow at Spock though he knew better than to expect a rise out of the science officer by now.

"A logical deduction, Doctor."

"I can't believe it," Lina breathed, unable to move her eyes away from the gilded disk at her feet as Uhura frantically scanned the area once more, desperately trying to pick up on some form of spoken language. "There are beings here, beings that have never been encountered before."

"Take a deep breath, Ms. Darnell," the young captain told her with a broad smile of his own, "We've still got some exploring to do."

* * *

Lina did her best to collect herself and act the roll of Security Operative for the remainder of the expedition though her excitement at possibly encountering a new race was barely contained just below the surface. The sideways glances she shared with Uhura told her that the linguistics expert shared her thoughts tenfold. Still, Lina was technically entrusted with the safety of the crew, though it was everyone's unspoken duty to look out for another, and she did her best to keep her eyes and ears open, both for signs of danger and for a very specific species of plant.

Nearly everywhere they ventured the landing party found themselves surrounded on at least three out of four sides by water. Coincidentally, nearly every species of creature they came across had amphibious characteristics which suggested that the planet often flooded completely. The landing party spent the majority of the day cataloging the various species of animals and plants, the latter of which fell to Lina at the behest of Captain Kirk as Lina held the botany degree.

Lina had always been a natural note taker and cataloged each species she came across in vivid detail, grateful for the meticulous task to keep her mind and eyes from traveling to the doctor that currently traded heated remarks with Spock somewhere just to her left. Her thoughts and memories could plague her later, as for then Lina was content to be an explorer and she kept in mind to keep an eye out for any particularly interesting plant species to take with her back to the botany lab.

Thus far, Lina had collected a specimen that resembled the blood-roots of Earth though when she curiously prick the stem Lina was delighted to learn that instead of a red sap, the stalk of the plant oozed a shimmery, bioluminescent fluid. Also in her collection thus far was a fern shaped plant that produced a large, deep purple blossom that also exhibited a type of bioluminescence along the style and ovary and an algae she had collected from the water's edge that, not unlike the rest of the plants, produced a soft bluish glow.

When Lina tried to add some diversity to her collection and add some specimens without the self-illuminating traits, she found that there just weren't any unless she planned on chopping down one of the massive trees and taking it with her. The further the crew ventured into the forest, the more they found themselves bathed in the dim, ghostly light given off by the local fauna.

"Still no sign of any oral languages, Captain," she heard Uhura remark dejectedly and frowned slightly. They were nearing their ninth hour of exploration and there had still been no signs of civilization, save for the polished stone platform that Scotty had unintentionally beamed them onto.

"They could still be out there," Kirk replied evenly though Lina could tell from his voice that he was just as disappointed as she and Uhura.

Lina glanced up from her latest find to see that Spock looked just as impassive as ever and Leonard looked content as a cucumber at the notion of avoiding contact with the locals. He stated as much. "If they don't want to be found that's just fine; remember what happened the last time we visited a planet near here, Jim?"

"I recall saving an entire race that day," Spock's gaze remained impassive and yet Lina saw the memory in his eyes even from where she stood a few yards away.

"I recall being chased through the jungle and altering a civilization's history before plucking your ass from an active volcano."

"The volcano was inactive at that point, Doctor," Spock replied evenly, much to Leonard's chagrin, "the device was detonated successfully."

"Enough, you two," Kirk interjected before the two officers traveled too far down that memory lane, obviously used to the constant bickering between them.

Lina wondered absently if they knew that Leonard wasn't genuinely angry when he engaged Spock. Mildly annoyed, yes, but angry? No, that wasn't his angry face. She'd seen him react the same way whenever his cousin Harry said pretty much anything growing up; Leonard had this way of feeding off of competition or any normal social stresses. It bettered his thinking process and he genuinely just enjoyed matching wits with someone. It seemed he had found his match in Spock, Lina noted with a smile as she turned back to collecting samples. She sensed their time on Kurva was coming to a close with the setting suns and she still hadn't found anything even slightly akin to an iris to take back to Sulu.

Lina saw movement out of the corner of her eye and turned to face the water's edge just in time to see a pale flash in the water as something made a rapid descent into the murky depths. She stared at the water for a moment longer, seeing nothing but her reflection peering back at her from the dark surface before becoming obscured by a new wave of mist.

Lina shrugged it off as some species of fish that had ventured towards the surface before making its descent, something she had seen often during her childhood standing on the creek banks of South Georgia. If she hadn't been so preoccupied with her notes and collections, Lina probably would have noticed the same phenomenon several times over and so she thought nothing further of it, despite how she found herself constantly throwing glances to the water's surface.

A few yards to her right, growing right on the muddy shorelines and shining through the fog, Lina finally spied that which had eluded her: the iris. Well, an iris_like_ species. Lina knelt beside the bank where the plant grew tall with spidery, blue petals ruffling out from a relatively clear stamen that pulsed with the same self-produced light that all of the Kurvian plants seemed to share. Oddly enough, as Lina bent to caress the plant's soft petals, the flower seemed to lean into her touch. Lina pulled her hand away, a disbelieving smile taking over her face when the flower visibly drooped at the lack of contact. "There, there," she cooed, not caring how insane she must have appeared to her comrades. She was on an alien planet with glowing, self-aware plants; there was no time for appearances. "I didn't mean it."

Gingerly, Lina brushed her fingers across the petals, delighting when the flower perked right back up and leaned into the contact. "Incredible," she breathed, slightly unnerved at taking a sample. If the plant could feel and react to her touch how would it react to being taken from the ground? "Don't take this personally," she told the plant, well past the point of feeling silly as she gently dug the plant from its muddy home. "It's just that Sulu would love you so much, you see."

A raspy, hollow croak bubbled up from the fog just in front of her, "Thereee, thereeee."

Lina gazed dumbly down at the flower in her hand as she nearly jumped upright. "You didn't say that, did you," she asked lamely, knowing good and well it hadn't.

"Hello?" She called over the mist, the sight of swirling fog her only reply.

"Suuuuuluuu," the voice croaked again, "youuu ssseeee."

A cold chill crept up Lina's spine, making the hair at the back of her neck stand on end. She was being watched; they all were. They had been all along. Subconsciously, she stepped away from the water's edge as she surveyed her surroundings, making sure she had ears on the crew. Uhura was listening to Kirk complain about Leonard and Spock constantly bickering while, well, Leonard and Spock were bickering. They were roughly three yards behind her to the left; safe.

A cold mist covered most of the ground, swirling around their feet like clammy hands clawing at their ankles. The forests around them were alive with the shrieking and singing of the planet's birdlike creatures, creatures that resembled a winged snake more than any bird and yet they filled the air with a most delightful noise. Still, Lina couldn't shake the disconcerting feeling of eyes raking over her flesh, the feeling worsened by the fact that whatever it was had tried to speak to her.

"Ms. Darnell, are you alright?"

Lina nearly jumped as the doctor's voice, feigning casual concern very well, drew her attention away from the waterline.

"I'm fine, Doctor," Lina schooled her face into a natural smile, simultaneously trying to hide her concerns from Leonard whilst avoiding the suspicions of their other companions. Only one her feats were successful as Leonard instantly saw through her guise.

"What is it?" He kept his voice low so as not to arouse the others' attentions, "what's wrong?"

Lina nodded her heads towards the trees, a motion that would have been imperceptible to anyone that hadn't spent their childhood trading similar signals with the girl. She was guiding him away from the water. "I think there's something out there," she whispered, keeping her ears open for any splashes or other telltale sounds of water being disturbed, knowing that whatever lurked in the murky depths wouldn't move with her watching. "Something's been following us."

"C'mon," McCoy beckoned her, resisting the urge to pull her into his side as Lina walked beside him, "let's get back to the group."

The Captain's eyes were turned upward as Lina and McCoy rejoined their group, a frown on his face as he realized that all three of the planet's suns were setting and their exploration was fast coming to a close without the native peoples having revealed themselves.

"Maybe they just aren't here," Uhura ventured, looking somewhat dejected herself. "The only evidence we found to support the theory of sentient life was the stone dais; perhaps the people that built it died out."

"No, I don't think so," Kirk ran a hand through his hair in frustration as his crystalline eyes scanned the horizon, looking for anything to suggest the planet held anything more than bioluminescent plants and winged serpents. "They're here somewhere."

Lina frowned as she tossed a glance back towards the water, wondering if she should tell the captain what she'd thought she'd seen. She decided that it could wait until they were back aboard the Enterprise, for whatever had spoken or, rather, mimicked her may still be listening. "Perhaps we should try again tomorrow, Captain?"

"Captain, if the native species do not wish to expose themselves to us then it would be unwise to force our presence upon them. Such actions could result in violence." Spock even went so far as to frown slightly.

"I agree with Spock, for once," Leonard concurred, surprising himself as much as everyone else. "I feel sort of unwanted here."

"We'll discuss it in the Officer's Lounge," Kirk said dismissively, as if everyone didn't already know they would be beaming back down at least once more. The captain pulled out his communicator and established contact with Scotty. "Beam us up, Mr. Scott."

Just as Lina found herself encircled in the tingly, gold rings of the transporter, she could have sworn she saw a dark shape emerge from the fog, the distinct shape of a head watching them dissipate into nothing.

** This is me cutting this chapter short. Ha. Anyways, I've already got most of the next chapter typed up and it's a lot more exciting, I promise. **

**So yeah, what I had originally planned to take place during this chapter got scrapped, so no, no angst. But it looms on the near horizon? Also, there were a couple of character introductions in this chapter, to one very well-known and very loved Mr. Montgomery Scott, and another to a lesser known and slightly made up Harry McCoy and neither of them got the time or attention they deserved in this chapter, but alas, it comes. They both okay big roles in this tale. **

**Also, I know there wasn't a lot of McCoy's POV in this chapter but the next chapter is pretty much exclusively told through his eyes, so it **_**kind**_** of evens out. **

**Please, please, please tell me what you think?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Dear God, I swear it just takes me forever to update these days and I'm SORRY. But here's chapter nine and I love you all. **

**Especially all of those that have favorite and followed this story. I do this for you guys.**

**AND OH MY GOSH, I GOT SOME OF THE BEST REVIEWS EVER FROM YOU GUYS LAST CHAPTER**

**Andr0meda- Thank you so much, your review made my life.**

**Solo13- Thank you! I love you!**

**Guest- omg thank you so much! Even if canonically wasn't a word beforehand it sure as hell is now! And thank you so much because I really, really try for that and it just makes me so happy that you're enjoying this and oh my gosh, I just want to send you all of the love in the world right now.**

**Also guys, the flashbacks are about to start getting a lot longer and what I'm wondering is: would you be interested in reading a prequel to this story? One that follows their relationship from the time they met, through med school, their separation, and what follows in more vivid detail? I've sort of already started writing it, more as reference for myself, but is that anything that you guys would be interested in?**

**On a side note, there's no flashback for this chapter as it's really more of a to-be-continued from chapter 8. I'll make up for it next time. **

**Also, I tried to write Chekov's accent and I don't know if it came out right but whatever, we all know he's a little Russian cutie pie.**

**And remember, I did warn you about the chapter lengths. I swear, I didn't **_**mean**_** to post a 10,000+ word chapter. It just, erm, happened. *aggressively has no self-control***

**As always, reviews are so greatly appreciated! Like, really. I love reviews. **

**Xoxoxox**

**K**

"Did you see that?" Kirk's eyes were fixed on the floor as if the murky waters of Kurva were still in front of him. "Something came out of the water, just as we beamed up. I saw it."

_Damnit it all. _McCoy sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. They'd spent all damned day trekking through the mud and now he just knew they would be doing it again in a few hours, this time in search of the creature from the black lagoon. _Damnit all to hell. _

He glanced at Lina from the corner of his eye and saw the storm of conflict all over her face as she debated whether or not to tell Kirk what she'd seen or heard. "I saw it too," she admitted finally, "I think it had been following us the entire time."

"Everyone safe and sound, then?" Scotty interrupted before the subject could be debated any further. "Good," he snapped without waiting for an answer from any of them, "then get off my transport pad, the lot of you! You're getting mud everywhere! And you reek!"

"We're going back," Jim nodded to Scotty as he led the group from the transport chamber, the resoluteness fading from his eyes as he gave Lina an odd look upon Scotty wishing her 'good evening'. "How the hell did you get him to warm up to you so quickly?" He asked her as he signaled the elevator, momentarily distracted from the mystery surrounding Kurva.

Lina glanced around awkwardly, clearly not fond of the feel of everyone's eyes settling on her. "I told him that I wouldn't break his stuff," she answered finally, "that's all an engineer ever really wants to hear. Weren't we discussing beaming back down to the surface?"

McCoy fought a smile as Lina nearly sighed in relief when the subject shifted away from her, his mind's eye briefly taking him back to a time when Lina's idea of an introduction was momentarily peeking out from behind his arm before retreating back into the refuge of his shadow. God, that had been years ago, he realized. She'd been what? Ten, maybe? It had taken a few more years but Lina had eventually opened up to people, learning and accepting that not everyone would condemn her the way her own family had. Still, she never did like to draw unwarranted attention to herself unless it came from himself or his father though it appeared that, in her new life, Lina had grown to be quite proud when the situation warranted it.

"Doctor, do you mean not to join us?" Spock's dry voice interrupted McCoy's memories, bringing him back to the moment and the fact that four sets of eyes now peered expectantly at him from the elevator. Spock fixed him with that same stare that he seemed to have reserved for McCoy over the past week, his dark eyes probing the doctor's face for any hint of a reaction to his own suspicious glances.

McCoy denied him such a reaction, though his blood boiled slightly, and wordlessly entered the small car, careful to give Lina a proper birth. She never did like small spaces. He noticed that both Uhura and Spock showed her the same courtesy.

Uhura exited the elevator at the sensor lab, anxious to further analyze her recordings from the muddy planet's surface before they beamed back down after their rest period, especially now that they had witnessed native life.

Upon entering the Officer's Lounge, Lina immediately felt like an intruder upon their sacred triumvirate. Each man instantly, without thought, took a predetermined seat. Leonard sat in a chair next to the captain's while Spock sat across from them on a large, angular couch. The room, like the rest of the Enterprise, was a crisp, stark white and yet the lighting seemed to be more ambient. The sprawling lounge was, well, inviting.

In all actuality, Lina wasn't even sure she had been invited into their gathering but seeing as the door had already closed behind her, she took a seat next to Spock anyway, not realizing at the moment that she had positioned herself directly across from the smoldering, hazel eyes she'd spent all day trying to avoid.

McCoy nearly groaned as she settled in across from him, knowing he couldn't keep up his neutral façade with her right in front of his face, especially while she was wearing that damned operative's uniform that clung to her like a second skin and it wasn't as if he could stare at the wall without attracting attention, what with Spock watching him like a hawk and Kirk's infernal need to question everything.

"Captain, the native Kurvian only revealed itself as we beamed back aboard the Enterprise," Spock reasoned flatly, and McCoy had never been happier to hear the Vulcan speak, "suggesting that our presence invoked fear and discomfort amongst them. It would be unwise to do so again."

"I saw it as we left, Spock," Kirk countered, though he purposefully glanced at Lina as she had witnessed the same sight. "It seemed more curious than frightened. This is our mission, remember? To explore strange new worlds!"

"Exploring strange new worlds, yeah that's all well and good, Jim. Antagonizing an unknown race is a whole different story," McCoy frowned as the memory of Lina practically jumping away from the water's edge replayed itself in his mind. She had always startled easily, hell, she'd even been frightened by her own reflection before, but he'd never seen her so _uneasy_. He knew her thought process without her having to say it aloud. If there was one in the water, there were more hiding just beneath the surface. They'd likely been surrounded.

Really, he wondered why they were even bothering with the discussion as they all knew how it would go. Kirk would insist that they return to the surface and Spock would emotionlessly present some stastic, he would insist that it was a bad idea, and then they would beam down anyway.

"Ms. Darnell suggested earlier that the natives had been following us and yet they made no effort to engage our party, Captain. What's more, they are seemingly an aquatic species inhabiting a planet whose surface is approximately 97.4% water, in the likelihood of an attack not only would we be severely outnumbered, but also out of our element." Spock's only expression was the slight tilt of his head.

McCoy noticed that Lina couldn't help but smile at Spock and the simple way he discussed their possible demise. She'd been so quiet since they left the transport chamber, so busy watching them and making herself small that she hadn't spoken. He could see her thoughts written all over her face, even as she tried to act busy by removing the botanical collection tubes from her thigh holster. She wanted to beam back down, he knew it. She'd probably go right now if Kirk ordered it, what Bones couldn't determine was her thought process. What had taken her from unease to intrigue? There was no telling with Lina. "I trust you, Jim," Bones muttered after a moment as he forced himself to look away from her concentrated frown, "But so help me God, if I meet my watery grave down there I'm dragging you down with me."

"That's the spirit, Bones," Jim clapped a hand on the doctor's shoulder though his eyes were fixed on Lina as she placed her samples on the table and opened one of the tubes. "Darnell, what are you doing?"

The cylindrical walls of the tube cascaded down into the base to reveal an ugly, blue flower though Lina stared at it as if it were made out of solid gold. She'd always loved plants, ever since she was young and that was something that McCoy had always loved about her; she could be so kind to something that didn't even have a pulse. And yet, he couldn't for the life of him fathom how that spidery, glowing, mess of blue petals in front of them could warrant anymore than- good God that thing just moved.

Bones did a double take as Lina lightly skimmed her slender fingers over the petals and sure enough, the plant leaned into her touch, even seeming to glow a little brighter at the stimulation.

Even Spock leaned forward in his seat, "Fascinating."

"Is that thing _moving_?" Kirk's posture matched McCoy's, leaning forward in his chair and squinting at the alien foliage. "How in the hell?"

"Sometimes I talk to myself," Lina said after a moment, seemingly completely off subject as she continued to coddle the plant.

"That's nice to know, Ms. Darnell," Leonard raised a brow and nearly snorted, "but what does that have to do with your friendly orchid and beaming back down to Kurva?" Leonard fought to urge to smile as Lina's eyes bored into the side of his head her expression clearly reading: _You know good and damned well that this is an iris._ He'd pay for it later, but the ire on Lina's face was well worth it.

"Because, _Doctor_," she practically seethed, "as I was muttering to myself, or rather, muttering to this flower, something repeated my words right back to me. There was something down there, something in the water, something with adequate brain capacity to mimic me," she gently patted the flower, noting that it had drooped considerably at the tension in her voice before realization visibly struck her. "That's it!"

"What is it?" Kirk shifted in his seat as the nervous energy set in. His face took on that same expression that it always had when the captain became absorbed in the puzzle, his eyes practically flamed as he leaned forward, "Tell me everything; walk me through exactly what happened."

"Don't you see?" Lina practically bounced in her seat, her voice becoming more and more animated with every word, "they weren't angry or uncomfortable that we were there; _they are shy._ We know that they live in the water, though they may be amphibious as the stone platform clearly depicted some form of sun worship suggesting they've spent part of their evolutionary period on land. They won't look like we do, probably not at _all. _That's why they never tried to engage us, why they never came out of the fog. Who could blame them? If five _things_ suddenly appeared out of nothing and walked through my home arguing all day, I wouldn't talk to them either."

McCoy connected the dots of Lina's criss-crossed thought process in his mind, having already had years of practice of understanding the way her mind functioned. "Who would you rather try to contact? A group of seemingly hostile strangers, or a girl that took the time to bend down and be nice to a flower?"

"Exactly," Lina beamed at him, "whatever it was wasn't trying to frighten me, it was trying to talk to me. I don't think the Kurvians are hostile, Captain," Lina placed the flower back into the collection tube and resealed it, "I think they're timid."

"It is a logical conclusion," Spock agreed mildly though McCoy didn't miss the slight upturn of the Vulcan's lips as he sided with Lina. "Sentient beings are, on average, 83% more likely to contact those that they identify with."

"Suggesting that they are a peaceful culture," Kirk gave McCoy a cheeky grin and the doctor briefly considered jabbing him with the hypo in his pocket to wipe that damned smirk off his face. It was getting time for his vaccinations anyway. "That settles it; we'll beam down after a brief rest period. Same time, same place tomorrow."

* * *

"Bones," Jim called him back as he watched Spock escort Lina from the lounge, listening patiently as she animatedly told him about each one of them. "Hang around for a minute, would you?"

"Miss me, Captain?" Bones quirked a brow as the door slid shut, effectively leaving him alone with a very squinty James Kirk.

McCoy frowned at the captain's expression, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You've been acting different," Jim noted absently, still staring his oldest friend down. He must have figured that the older man would soon grow agitated by his accusing expression and tell him everything that he wanted to know. "You've been _moody."_

"The hell, I have," Bones snapped indignantly, huffing in his frustration. "Children are moody, Jim. Do I look like a damned child to you?"

Jim held up his hands in mock surrender, "Okay, fine. But _something_ is different with you lately. Is it the space thing?"

"Space thing?" McCoy snorted .

For a brief moment, McCoy considered telling Jim everything. He was bound to find out anyway, right? He wanted to be able to talk about Lina, to hear from someone that he was doing the right thing by edging his way back into her life. He wanted to be able to point at that silly, irritating, amazing, beautiful girl and have everyone know that she was his. Only she wasn't truly his, not until she said so. As much as the doctor wanted to talk about her, he also wanted to keep her to himself, just a while longer. Even if it meant keeping secrets from his closest friend. _Dear god,_ the doctor thought to himself, _I AM a school girl._

"Well what the hell is it? One minute you're trying to kill Sulu with your eyes and the next you're agreeing with Spock? You _never_ agree with Spock. On anything. Ever."

"We both agree that you're a pain in the-"

"This isn't about me," Jim interrupted, narrowing his eyes at his oldest friend, "I'm just trying to make sure that you're alright."

"I'm fine." Bones felt a twinge of guilt at keeping Jim in the dark. They'd met when they'd both had nothing in the world but the burden of bad memories and when things had gotten hard, when the colossal task of rebuilding their shattered lives had seemed nearly too much, it had always been okay because the two unlikely friends knew that the other was there.

"It's right on the tip of your tongue," Jim's smug voice drew the doctor from his thoughts, effectively making up his mind for him. It'd be nice to have the weight lifted from his chest and yet, he wouldn't tell him just to deny him the satisfaction.

McCoy frowned. That damned Jim Kirk had always been too observant for his own good, which was perfectly fine, except for when his eyes were on McCoy. "Damnit man, do you really want to sit here and talk about my _feelings_?"

Jim sighed with his hands on his hips as he realized he just wouldn't get anywhere with McCoy until he was good and ready to talk about whatever it was, if that day ever even came. "Are you hungry?"

"I could eat." Bones muttered after a moment, deciding that a hot meal and long shower sounded just about right.

"I thought you could."

* * *

Lina entered the botany bay to find Sulu already hunched over the illuminated observation table though a screaming Lorenchian fichus alerted him to her presence before she had the chance to sneak up on him.

"That's Demora," Sulu glanced up from the table with a broad smile, nodding to the screaming, silver leafed tree nearest the door, "she acts as our watch dog."

"I thought Lorenchian fichus were known for their peaceful humming?" Lina shook her head and took a seat at the table next to Sulu, glancing around the botany bay. It was massive in scale, and lighted in certain sections to mimic the ideal habitats for the plants that resided there. In all actuality, it resembled a rainforest more than a room aboard a federation vessel and it smelled like heaven. Well, heaven to a botanist anyway. It smelled of jasmine and gardenia with the more earthy scents of bark wafting in, competing with the more exotic scent of plants from different worlds, a smell that could only be likened to fresh mountain water and heat. Thankfully, the overwhelming scents of the flora and fauna around her canceled out Lina's own personal scent, which currently spoke of the bog she'd spent all day walking around in.

"They are," Sulu shrugged, "but for some odd reason this one screams at any living thing that comes near it; I named it after my sister."

"Oh come on," Lina chided as she placed the sample tubes on the table, "that's not nice." She didn't mention that her name for her own sister was 'Satan'.

"You haven't met her; what've you got there?" Sulu leaned forward in his chair, his eyes visibly widening in excitement.

Lina handed over the first tube, the one with the shimmery blood-root inside of it, "It's the strangest thing, Hikaru, all of these plants exhibit bioluminescence,_ all_ of them. It made walking through the mist very eerie, though helpful. The forest was so dense down there that the plants were practically our only light source."

Sulu excitedly opened the first vial, watching in wonder as the walls of the cylinder slid down to reveal the tall, thin plant that it held. Gently, almost hesitantly, he reached out with a gloved hand to retrieve it.

Lina couldn't help herself, not with him looking like a child on Christmas morning as he turned the root this way and that in his hands, and snapped a picture with her PADD. She loved that expression, that look that someone got when they were passionate about something; she had about a thousand snapshots of Nyota as she deciphered a particularly interesting message and even a few of Spock as he read an old Vulcan poem, forgetting in his awe to control his expression.

As soon as the device's camera went off, Sulu's expression changed drastically from pure awe to a deep frown.

Lina laughed as the sudden shift, "I'm sorry, but you really should have seen your face."

Sulu's response was to simply point to the stalk of the plant, more specifically, at the scar left behind when Lina had curiously pricked the stem earlier. "Really?"

"I was curious," Lina shrugged, feeling somewhat chastised.

"Savage," Sulu tsked, though his tone was teasing. He placed the bloodroot, or shimmeryroot, rather, in a planting station before he reached for the next vial, oblivious to the one that Lina hid at her side. "What's next?"

"This one is just an algae," Lina tapped the display on the observation table to bring up the settings, scrolling down to dim the light. "Like the rest of the samples, this one exhibits the same self-lighting phenomenon. I collected it from the water's edge, which is eerie now that we know there was something in the water."

"Something in the water?" Sulu raised a curious brow and frowned as he catalogued the sample and stored it away, "like what?"

"It looked humanoid to me; I only glimpsed it as we beamed away." Lina handed him the next vial, bringing up the notes and photos she'd taken on her PADD of the hundreds of other plants species, "And it mimicked me. I was talking to a flower that I'd found and I heard my words, in a different voice, repeated right back to me."

"Are you sure it wasn't Kirk or McCoy playing a joke on you?" Sulu seemed more mesmerized by the alien fern in front of him than the actual mystery of the water people.

Lina shook her head, "No, they were behind me. Do they often prank people?"

Before Sulu could answer, though she imagined that they did, his communicator's beeping filled the quiet room.

"Sorry," he muttered politely before flipping open the device. "Aren't you supposed to be shadowing Mr. Scott right now?"

"He is in a fit," a thickly accented voice, one Lina recognized as the Russian cherub's from the bridge, replied, "Zere is mud all ower ze transport pad; I cannot stay down here, I have not seen zis much anger zince ze day I left Mother Russia."

Sulu sighed and Lina could have sworn she saw his eyes roll, "Come to Botany."

"Was that the boy from the bridge?" Lina asked as Sulu cut the connection on his communicator.

He nodded, "Pavel Chekov" Strangely, the helmsman switched off his PADD and removed the energy cell, which seemed to be functioning normally, and stored it away in the drawer next to him. "He's our navigator, though he dabbles in a little bit of everything to stay busy. He gets extremely homesick, which is understandable, I guess. He was just a kid when he left home. But if he doesn't stay occupied every other thing that comes out of his mouth is 'Zat reminds of zis one time in Mother Russia' or 'Zat vas inwented in Mother Russia' and it's just easier on everyone if he stays busy."

Lina knew that feeling well and nodded understandingly as it donned on her that Sulu had adopted the same roll for Chekov that Spock had for her all of those years ago. "So why take the energy cell out of your PADD?"

"To give him something to fix when he gets here. He'll spend hours trying to figure it out, poor little guy; he has such faith in me that he never even checks the energy cell. He'll get a couple hours' worth of distraction and I won't have to hear how _Scotch_ was invented by a little old lady in Leningrad." Sulu looked quite proud of himself as he went through the last sample and stored it away.

"I don't know if that's mean or clever," Lina's mind took her back to the time that Spock had given her a puzzle constructed out of Romulan and Vulcan phrases and the only way to solve it was to differentiate between the two languages and use the clues to get to the next level. "I guess it's a little of both."

"It's effective," Sulu's smile had yet to fade since he'd initially discovered the marred shimmeryroot's stem, though it did dim when he realized they were at the end of their samples.

"It's killed me to save this one for last," Lina placed the last collection vial on the table, trying not to bounce in her seat, "Are you ready to see the coolest little flower in the universe, the likes of which have never been seen before?"

"Cooler than a bioluminescent bloodroot?" Sulu practically panted in excitement, though Lina imagined it was just part of his personality to get overly enthusiastic about things he thought to be interesting. Either way, it was infectious.

"Close your eyes," Lina urged excitedly as she began to open the last vial. "Humor me, please."

"Would it do any good to ask you why?" Sulu raised a confused brow but nonetheless complied.

"You'll see," Lina took one of his hands as the tube opened and guided it just above the iris and waited for it to sense his warmth. "Open up."

Sulu opened his eyes just in time to see the large, spidery flower lean into the palm of his hand, seeming to nuzzle against it like one would expect a kitten to do. In his excitement the helmsman nearly toppled out of his chair. "That's amazing!" He breathed as he recovered, once again coddling the iris in his palm.

"I thought you might enjoy that," Lina smiled as he continued to remain captivated by the iris, "I have no idea why it does it, I think it's really more of a reaction to warmth that makes it _seem_ to be self aware and almost timid. Whatever the case, it's interesting."

The blood curdling scream of the Lorenchian fichus filled the lab, effectively drawing their attention away from the seemingly amicable plant, as Chekov entered the lab, nearly jumping out of his skin as the alien tree's screech. "Ack! I miss Mother Russia vhere ze plants don't scream at me. Or move," he added as he approached the table with wide eyes, "How is it doing zat?"

"We have no idea," Lina stretched out her hand in greeting to the younger boy, "I'm Lina."

"Oh goodness," the boy took her hand, embarrassed as if he'd forgotten his manners, "Ensign Chekov, ma'am. Pavel Andreievich, I am most pleased to meet you."

Lina couldn't help but to smile as his thick accent curled around the syllables. He took the seat across from them at the table, though whereas Sulu was mystified by the iris, Chekov seemed horrified.

"It is not natural," he muttered, shaking his head at the large flower, "for a plant to mowe as zuch. I much prefer machines to plants. Why, back in Moth-"

"That reminds me," Sulu cut in without looking up and slid his PADD over to Chekov before the young ensign could get started, "it's broken again. "

"Again?"

Lina shook her head as a companionable silence settled over the botanical bay.

* * *

Jim dropped the subject of McCoy's personal life as soon as he had a plate full of food in front of his, for which the doctor was thankful. Instead, he listened to the captain animatedly hypothesize every possible scenario of how the native people of Kurva would approach them, if they did at all.

Though some found it insufferable, McCoy had never minded listening to Jim's excited ramblings. It offered him a chance to sit in silence and simply listen and observe, and it gave Jim a chance to wear down his often overactive mind. Their late dinner seemed to do just that as Jim excused himself with a yawn, though the doctor knew that Jim Kirk would still make a trip around the entire ship before he finally retired, only after making sure all was well.

Bones left the galley and headed immediately for the medical bay, having his own rounds to make before he could retire. He was pleasantly surprised to find that the bay had yet to receive any patients which, even though it meant for a slow day for him and his staff, meant that the Enterprise had gone an entire day accident free.

"Doctor McCoy?"

Bones glanced up from the clipboard to see a young Arcadian nurse blinking at him with a slight frown.

"Yes, Nurse Ovorkian?" McCoy matched her frown, wondering if Jim had managed to draw something on his face without him noticing. Why in the hell was she looking at him like that?

She seemed hesitant to answer, "Sir, don't take offense, but well…"

"Speak freely, ma'am," McCoy placed the clipboard back on the desk, giving the nurse his full attention. It wasn't like one of his staff to hesitate in speaking to him, not unless something was really bothering one of them.

"You smell like a swamp, sir." Nurse Ovorkian clamped her hand over her mouth, her large doll-like eyes betraying her own mortification as if she couldn't believe she'd actually said it.

"Well, I did spend all day wading around in one," McCoy looked down, reminded of his desperate need for a shower. Still, there was one thing he'd yet to do. The doctor pulled up a medicinal sign out sheet on his PADD and signed for a hypospray on the behalf of patient 001, Lina Darnell. "I'll be out of your nostrils in just one minute, Ma'am."

McCoy came out of the bathroom to find Lina reclined on his bed clad in one of his civilian tshirts and absently wiggling her toes as she thumbed through a paperbound book, the cover of which simply read _The World's Bloodiest History._ She'd even taken the liberty of removing "Sampson" from the shelf in the sitting area and placing it on the bedside table.

"Still breaking and entering, I see," Bones smirked as he finished toweling his hair and pulled on a pair of sleeping pants.

"I like your rooms better than mine," Lina shrugged, not even glancing up from her book as she turned the page, "Much homier and more welcoming. And it's hardly breaking and entering when you've used the same 8 digit security code for everything that ever required one. Zero-Nine-Three-Zero-Two-One-Nine-Seven." Lina bore a proud smile as she turned her page and didn't bother to move from the middle of the bed as he settled in next to her. Her yellow curls were still damp as he rested his chin upon her soft shoulder, moreso breathing in her fresh scent and basking in her warmth than reading over Lina's shoulder. Though what the doctor did read disturbed him.

"What in the world are you reading?" His brow shot up to the point of nearly disappearing into his disarrayed hair. In truth, he wasn't at all surprised. Lina had always had a fascination with the macabre history of their predecessors, from their medical practices to their conflicts. Actually, the girl just loved history in general; Leonard had often wondered in their youth if Lina chose to practice medicine rather than becoming a historian or botanist due to his father's influence in their lives.

"You saw the title," Lina turned her page again, though he knew she had long since stopped reading. "This chapter is about the massacre of Babi Yar during World War Two. It was awful, Leonard. Within just a few days, over one hundred thousand people were murdered. This war lasted for _years_ and that many people died over a span of _days_. We are so _lucky_ to live in the age that we do. Leonard."

"And yet you wonder why you couldn't ever get to sleep when we were kids." Leonard shook his head and pressed a small kiss to her temple before he stood. It had been hell being so close to her all day and not being able to reach out and touch her, especially as her eyes lit up and she had practically bounced with joy at every new find. Now that she was there, right under his fingertips, and looking a portrait of ease as she reclined on his bed, McCoy almost regretted what he was about to do.

"I know why I couldn't sleep," Lina shrugged nonchalantly and marked her page before she closed her book and placed it on his nightstand right next to that damned skull. "I constantly find new ways to frighten myself. Where are you going?"

"If I tell you, you'll make a run for it," McCoy called from the sitting area as he retrieved the hypospray that he had brought with him from the medical bay. He'd known that Lina wouldn't come to medical for the simple treatment for her damaged hand and so Bones had grabbed one as he stopped by the bay to go over the day's reports.

Hyposprays were completely noninvasive and simply used a stream of air to deliver medicine from the device to the inflicted area. They eliminated the need for needles and reduced the risk of infection and pain at the injection sight. And yet Lina was still a baby when it came to getting them. She would deal them out all day with no complaint but when it came to receiving her routine injections she had always made sure to whine at least once.

Her face clearly spoke of betrayal when she noticed the hypo in his hand as Bones reappeared in the doorway; he couldn't help but chuckle.

Instinctively, Lina flexed her hand, "It's really not so bad. I never even noticed it until you pointed it out earlier."

"You never were good at lying," Bones gave her a gentle smile as he sat on the bed and gestured for her hand. The typical injection site was the base of the neck but the medication would react faster in Lina's case injected directly to the source of her affliction. "C'mon, it doesn't even hurt."

"You can still feel it," Lina argued, folding her arms over her chest and purposefully tucking her small hands under them.

"No you can't," Bones sighed, trying not to roll his eyes, "stop being a child; or would you rather that use the vein in your forehead for injection?"

Lina fixed him with a murderous glare but held out her hand nonetheless, "I'm not a child. I just don't like the idea of something entering my skin."

Bones ignored her as he took her hand into his own, massaging small circles into her palm with the pad of his thumb. He glanced towards the room's far corner after the sensation had had a moment to calm her, "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Lina followed his gaze, never even noticing as McCoy gently pressed the hypospray against her hand and pushed the plunger.

"Nothing," he stored the hypo away with a smile, still massaging small circles into her palm, "I guess it was nothing."

Bones pressed his lips against Lina's small knuckles and settled in next to her, ignoring her suspicious glare as she did the same. "You injected me, didn't you?"

"Thought you said you could feel it?" Bones raised a brow, not even flinching as she swatted his shoulder.

"You're annoying." And she leaned back against his chest anyway.

"So you tell me," Bones pressed a kiss against her damp curls, holding her against him. As much as he didn't want to push her, McCoy couldn't help himself. Holding her was natural, something he couldn't switch off. "Tell me about your day."

Lina nearly shivered as his breath tickled her ear. "You were there," she laughed in a feeble attempt to hide how he affected her still, "remember?"

McCoy rolled his eyes, shaking his head, "You can be such a brat sometimes; you know what I meant."

Lina tilted her head back to show him her cheeky grin and pressed a quick kiss to his freshly shaven cheek. "It was amazing."

McCoy smiled to himself at the wonder in her voice. Her willing leaning against him, teasing him with those fleeting kisses, _that _was amazing. Spending all day marching through that damned swamp? Not so much. "Tell me about it," he beckoned softly, purposefully using a tone he'd always saved just for her. Low and rumbling and impossible for her to deny. "I want to hear it from you."

Lina fought a shiver and sighed contentedly, "I love it here, Leonard," she admitted after a moment. "I'm employed on the USS freakin' Enterprise, exploring deep space. Everything we're doing and seeing- it's never been done before. I'm just, I don't know. _Happy."_

Bones felt that familiar warmth growing in his chest, a comforting feeling that reminded him of home and well, peace. He wondered absently how many evenings they had spent like this together during their years, with her lying against his chest and telling him her every thought on anything and everything while he fell further and further for her.

"You were against beaming back down at first," Lina noted after a moment, tilting her head back to smile up at him, "and then you changed your mind."

"You had this look on your face," McCoy confessed, his frown contrasting with the tenderness of his voice, "and I knew how bad you wanted to go back. You used to get the same look on your face whenever we would walk to school and you would see a dog behind someone's fence. You always had to go say 'hello'. "

"Meeting a whole new species is different than petting someone's dog, Leonard," Lina rolled her eyes despite her smile, loving the rumble in his chest as he chuckled behind her.

"Tell that to your face."

"Well thank you for siding with me," Lina ignored him and turned on her side, resting her head against his heart, "even if we are pretending to be perfect strangers. I know you didn't want to go."

McCoy settled down onto the bed, careful not to disturb Lina's position, unwilling to have her roll away. He'd missed the weight of her head over his heart too much to let it go. "I still don't want to go, but I'll always be on your side. "

"You've always had such a big heart," Lina sighed, absently tapping her fingers in sync with his heartbeat, "you know that? You're always taking up for someone else despite how you feel. That's your constant, Leonard; no amount of time could change that."

He felt guilty enjoying her affections, letting her praise him after he'd nearly destroyed her in the past. Lina truly took even the most mundane things, namely him, and found a way to make them beautiful and, in his eyes, he just didn't deserve it.

"And you say that_ I_ overthink everything," Lina smiled up at him, soft and warm, as if her heart had never been broken in the first place, "what's going on in that head of yours? It looks like you're at war up there."

Bones rolled his eyes but smiled anyway, finding the expression more and more common with Lina around. God, he'd missed her. "Nothing," he half-truthed, "I'm just glad that you're here."

"That's not what you're really thinking, but I'll take it for now," Lina slid under the blankets and nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck, inhaling with a sigh. "I'm glad to be here."

His mind's eyes took him back to lying in a wheat field with her curled against him the same way; she'd be talking up a storm as she fought sleep and he'd just hold her and listen, the years having him well used to the way she'd rather sleep outside in the muggy, Georgia heat with him than in her immaculate room in Darnell Manor. She would have given up everything she ever had for him, all the wealth, the luxury and instead he gave up on her.

"You're doing it again," Lina smiled against his neck as she pressed a small kiss there. "Stop, will you? You're here and I'm here and for right now, it's as simple as that. You, yourself, told me not to overthink this and so you can't either."

McCoy couldn't help but smile as Lina threw his own words back to him. But that didn't stop how he wanted to tell her everything, how every time he held her he felt home, how she'd been his entire world. That he loved her. That he'd never stopped loving her, not really. He'd never gotten over her or let her go, instead he'd just put a bandaid over a gunshot wound and dealt with it for years. But McCoy didn't say any of that, not then. Instead he settled for gently tilting Lina's chin upwards so that their lips just barely met, allowing her to close the distance between them and smiling against her kiss when she did just that. "It's never been 'as simple as that' with us."

"No," Lina agreed with a small laugh. She entangled her hands in his damp hair, peering up at him thoughtfully, "It hasn't, has it?"

"It could be," he pushed her nearly dried curls away from her face as the room's sensors automatically dimmed the lights, picking up on their increasing levels of melatonin. What light did remain reflected from Lina's eyes as she leaned into his touch, not unlike the sun bouncing off of cold metal and her gaze tore right through his hardened exterior that he'd spent years putting up, revealing everything in the doctor that was still raw and vulnerable and she didn't even realize it. To her, she was just seeing him and even better, she was coming back to him completely on her own. "We could make it simple this time around."

"I'd like that," Lina admitted softly as she moved to lie completely on top of him and Bones would have been lying if he said that he minded in the slightest. She kept one hand firmly grasped in his hair, something she'd always done, and slid the other down his arm, purposefully featherlight in her touch as she sought his own, calloused hand. She pressed a kiss against his knuckles as she drew their entwined hands up to rest between them, their hearts pounding against the touch. "I need that."

"Me too."

* * *

McCoy woke up with a face full of golden curls and a bony knee digging into his thigh and yet the doctor couldn't find a single complaint in the world. He stretched as much as Lina's tangled form would allow him to and replayed the previous night's conversation in his head. They both drifted off knowing that there were still a thousand things left to be said and yet, as Bones stole a few selfish moments of taking in the sight of Lina, he didn't mind. They would have plenty of time to talk and heal, as for now, simply holding her was enough for him.

Though the room was windowless and there was no sun filtering in, dawning upon her soft flesh, Lina still shone brighter than an entire galaxy full of stars. Every time he looked at her seemed like the first time for McCoy, she was infinite and ever changing and the grip she held on his heart threatened to end him at any given moment as she pushed him harder, further than he had ever been into, well, _life._ With every soft, sleepy breath Lina awoke everything in him that he had forced to die. It was perfect and absolutely terrifying.

A dark chill settled deep in the doctor's soul; something was bound to go wrong. Not just because he was a cynical man, which he very well could be, but because life had proven that to him. Everytime something seemed to be going well, nearing perfection, something awful happened. Subconsciously, he held Lina closer to him.

She groaned to life beneath his arms, her small hands trying to work out where her hair ended and her face began. "Why in the hell does Kirk schedule everyone so early?" she whined, "Why can't we beam down at lunch time when everyone's good and awake?"

"Still not a morning person?," Bones laughed to himself, not able to resist claiming her sleepy pout in a slow, lazy kiss.

"Well if I woke up to that every morning, I might be," Lina sighed, looping her arms around his neck and not bothering to roll off of him.

"That could be arranged, you know," McCoy raised a brow teasingly, turning in one swift movement so that Lina lay beneath him and trailing soft kisses along her neck, his lips just barely ghosting over her collarbone. The chill in his soul was momentarily forgotten as Lina sighed his name, absently trailing her fingers along his spine. A groaned escaped him as Lina wrapped her soft legs around his waist, trying to sate the primal heat that raged between them as she pulled him up to meet her lips in a kiss that was anything but innocent. He wanted her, wanted to spend all morning exploring every inch of her as if it were the first time all over again, but god, the things he wanted to do her deserved more than the mere few minutes they had left together.

McCoy reluctantly broke their embrace, his self-control threatening to cave in as Lina peered up at him through those long lashes, nervously biting her swollen lips. "Later," he promised, sealing it with a slow, lingering kiss.

"I'll hold you to that, Doctor," Lina trailed her fingers down his back with an agonizing slowness, smirking up at him as McCoy shivered beneath her touch, "as for now, I'll think I'll be needing a cold shower."

"You're not the only one." Reluctantly, McCoy moved aside so that Lina could crawl out of his bed, staring pointedly at the ceiling as she stripped out of his old shirt and donned her uniform. He only had so much self-control, after all.

He saw her to the door after she'd dressed, starting to curse Jim himself for scheduling everyone so damned early as his last private seconds with Lina ticked away.

"Before you say it," Lina stood on her tiptoes to tease him with a heated kiss, testing the very limits of his willpower, "I'll be careful."

McCoy held her against him for a moment all the while trying to steel himself for a day of pretending not to know her. It wasn't that he had the constant, obsessive need to know her every thought on everything, though he certainly didn't mind, nor was it that he had the constant need to hold onto her, though he didn't mind that either. The challenge in being so close to Lina all day and remaining neutral was that reaching out for hand was so natural that he did it without thought; his eyes followed her, picked her out above everyone else. Her voice echoed above everyone else's in his mind and so it was hard to remain impartial to her presence when her presence stole his every thought.

"I'll hold you to that," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before she somewhat grudgingly slipped from his arms. "I'll see you soon."

As soon as the door closed behind her the room seemed almost mockingly empty, the silence practically screamed at McCoy as he trudged to the shower. It felt almost cold without her there.

He let the freezing water beat down on his head for a long moment, trying not to think of his name on her lips or even moreso, her lips on his skin. Part of him knew that he was playing a dangerous game, in which Lina held every piece that mattered on the board. She had all of the power in the world to shatter him, whether she knew it or not. His only hope was that she was as scared of hurting him as he was of hurting her.

McCoy stepped out of the shower and toweled his hair a little too fiercely, forcing himself to shake the thoughts away as he dressed in his medical blues (after turning the skull on the night table to face the other direction) and grabbed his already stocked medbag before heading toward the elevator. Whatever life they hoped to find down there, he only hoped it was friendly. He'd already had too much experience stitching up his crew and the task seemed even less appealing considering his bonds with the other four members of the landing party. McCoy pressed the button for the elevator, praying for an easy day.

The doctor's prayer quickly turned to an impatient as he awaited the elevator's arrival, knowing the delay meant he would have to share the cramped space with someone. He bid his dreams of a few moments' worth of peace and quiet goodbye as the doors finally slid open. Until he saw who waited on the other side.

"Doctor," Lina waggled her eyebrows as he entered the elevator, not bothering to hide her pleasure that they were its only inhabitants.

"Ms. Darnell," McCoy wasted no time in pressing her against the wall and claiming her lips in a searing, toe curling kiss. Lina gripped his shirt to steady herself, her body shivered against his despite the heat that raged between them.

Just as quickly as he'd embraced her, Leonard released Lina, leaving her breathless as he straightened his shirt where'd she'd gripped it to steady herself and squared his shoulders. "Be careful out there today," his dark eyes were fixed straight ahead though his lips turned upwards in a slight smile.

_What in the hell was even the point of taking that cold shower this morning?_ "No one likes a tease," Lina grumbled, marching from the elevator as they arrived at the transport chamber, the rest of the crew already assembled and waiting.

* * *

Scotty beamed them down on the exact spot that he had the day before, the stone dais. The three suns of Kurva beat down mercilessly, their rays desperately trying to claw through the thick canopy above.

The dais around them, all but abandoned the day before, was now filled with various artifacts, most of which appeared to be formed out of gold. There were small figurines, and beads fashioned from precious metals and polished stones, pale leaves scrawled with shimmery ink which was most likely derived from the bioluminescent sap of the local plants, and several examples of what must have been considered the local cuisine. The platform was so full, in fact, that the party couldn't even step without tripping over the, well, offerings.

"Fascinating," Spock was the first to break the silence as he peered around with a raised brow while Uhura excitedly snatched up any of the scrolled leaves that she could find.

"Are you seeing this? They have written language! These are folk tales judging by the artwork, I don't know, it'll take me awhile to decipher them."

"But where are _they_?" Kirk frowned as he squinted across the horizon, finding the water's surface to be completely undisturbed. The winged serpents chirped merrily above them, indifferent altogether of their presence.

"All around us, probably," Lina crouched down and retrieved a small, gilded disk from the ground, smiling to herself as she turned it over in her hands.

McCoy didn't like it at all. The gold, the food, the flowers, it all served as a chilling reminder that they were being watched despite the hospitality of the gesture. He wouldn't feel comfortable until the Kurvians stood before him, something he could see or touch, rather than hiding under the water's dark surfaces. Hell, he still probably wouldn't even feel comfortable then. Something about this whole set up just felt wrong.

That nagging feeling in his gut only intensified when Lina leaned precariously over the edge of the dais and shielded her eyes as she tried to see into the murky depths. "Spock, I need you."

McCoy frowned as she knelt onto next to the water's edge, already knowing what was dancing around in her head. "You're not thinking of going in there, are you?"

"No," Lina replied coolly as she fastened a line to herself and handed the end to Spock. "Not all the way, at least. Whatever is down there, I think they were trying to make contact. Look around, all of the food and gold, even the flowers, these are _offerings_. They're trying to befriend us."

"Your deduction is logical, Lina, though by intruding on their realm you may infringe on their good faith," Spock agreed impassively, taking a firm hold on Lina's line, nonetheless. "Such an action has the potential to result in violence."

"Exactly why I've got you holding onto me, Spock. Hold on tight, please," Lina smiled excitedly as she stretched herself out over the water's surface before gently, almost hesitantly placing her hand into the depths.

"Darnell, be careful; don't die on your second day aboard my ship, please." Kirk tried to sound stern but the way he stood on the tips of his toes to get a better angle of the swamp betrayed his own excitement.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Captain," Lina plunged her hand down just a little bit further, finding the water to be surprisingly cool. "Come now," she whispered against the misty surface, "It's alright."

McCoy shifted to get a better view, praying to whoever was listening that she didn't go and get her hand torn off by some alien alligator. From where he stood he could see her lips moving, could make out her sweet voice echoing faintly over the glassy surface, her face frozen in concentration. Before it became completely transformed by a mask of pure, beautiful awe.

She didn't speak, but her wide eyes peered straight down into the water, her breath coming out in excited pants as slowly, tentatively, Lina began to withdraw her arm from the water. But she wasn't alone.

"Dear God," McCoy's eyes widened in disbelief as Lina slowly raised her hand from the water to reveal a pale blue, webbed palm pressed against her own which was soon followed by a long, thin _finned arm_. The arm was a glossy, murky blue and striped in places, and toned from a life of swimming and it was soon followed by the appearance of a head breaking the water's surface. The creature was humanoid though completely hairless and had large, black eyes the size of saucers. It had only holes in the side of its head for ears and only slits for nostrils and a large, wide lipless mouth. In all honestly, it looked like a cross between a human and a fish and yet Lina stared at it as if it were the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen.

"Thereee, thereee," it croaked, never taking its webbed hand away her Lina's as it crawled from the depths and stood before her. It was tall and from its anatomy, decidedly female, and its skin appeared to be slippery like that of a fish or a frog and it peered down at Lina as if she were made of solid gold.

An excited gasp escaped Lina, "It's you," she said almost reverently, tears filling her eyes, "it was you yesterday, you tried to talk to me."

"_Look!_" Uhura hissed, pointing out over the murky swamp. The waters, though silent, had become disturbed a dozens of heads broke the surface and slowly made their way to the platform.

"Everyone take note," Kirk ordered with an awed voice, "we can't reveal any technology to them so for now we'll just have to remember everything that we can."

A heavy silence settled over the landing party as the Kurvians descended upon them. The people were tall, their arms and legs having evolved to be longer than that of the average humanoid, and their striped, slippery flesh ranged in shade from a pale blue to a muddy green. They had fins along their forearms and calves and, oddly enough, they all appeared to be anatomically female; though they were slow and deliberate in their movements, almost shy, it seemed that they looked to the Kurvian pressed against Lina for guidance and continued to encircle the landing party.

Lina sobbed, overwhelmed, as the being released her hand and placed its hand over her heart and cupped her face with its other. The touch was cold and clammy and, to be truthful, quite slimy and not unlike a frog, but it was beautiful. No one had ever encountered these people before and it was unlikely that anyone ever would again. She would probably be endlessly teased for her tears later, but Lina couldn't have cared less at the moment. At the moment, she was making history. Lina copied the creature's stance, placing her own hand over its chest and cupping its face. It smiled, eliciting another excited sob from Lina. "My God, you're so beautiful."

The creature blinked its large, black eyes and moved its hands up to Lina's hair, obviously intrigued as they had no hair of their own. They had never even _seen _hair, Lina realized and quickly pulled her downs so that the creature to feel it.

That act seemed to be an invitation to the Kurvians, for as soon as Lina opened herself up to them they swarmed her, curiously touching and prodding her and exchanging excited mutterings amongst themselves. Their words sounds more like various combinations of screeches and croaks than actual words and it was visibly killing Uhura that she wasn't able to record them.

McCoy had been so busy watching Lina fall in love with the natives that he hadn't noticed the one that warily approached him until she was nearly upon him. She seemed frightened when the doctor turned to face her and stumbled back; he noticed that they also approached Spock and Kirk in the same skittish manner though they seemed to swarm to Uhura and Lina.

"I don't think they trust men," He noted as the creature continued its timid appraisal of him. He was careful to keep his voice low and even so as not to frighten the indigenous woman in front of him.

"Many cultures view men to be incompetent due to their competitiveness and lack of emotional control." Spock attempted to remain impassive as one of the beings reach out tentatively and touched his pointed ears, obviously fascinated as they had no ears of their own.

"Where are the men, then?" Kirk held out his hand to one of the Kurvians, his face lighting up as she pressed her own palm against his and, deeming him friend worthy, quickly began running her webbed fingers through his hair with complete disregard for personal space.

"I think they may exhibit sequential hermaphroditism, Captain," Lina answered, clearly delighted to have her hair full of slimy hands, not caring at all as the Kurvian women caressed her face and turned her hands this way and that, "some species of amphibians have been known to change from female to male when it comes time to breed."

Bones saw Lina watching him out of the corner of his eyes and made a point to hold out his hand to the Kurvian in front of him, "It's alright; I'm a gentleman, I promise."

Tentatively, the woman reached out and pressed her slimy palm flat against his and seemed just as shocked by his dry warmth as he was by the slippery touch of her hand. She blinked her large eyes and McCoy fought the suspicion that she was more than just seeing him, she was seeing _into_ him.

"Daaaaaamitttjimmmmm," it croaked after a moment and McCoy couldn't help but laugh.

"You heard that, huh?"

"Shuttttttupssssssspoooockkk."

"Well look at that," McCoy grinned cheekily at Spock, whom seemed none too pleased about having his personal space invaded, "I made a friend."

"They're using mimicry to try to communicate with us," Uhura explained as several of the Kurvians held up tribute with examples of their writing on it, pointing and gesturing at the odd symbols. "They must have picked up on some of our conversations while following us yesterday."

Just then the canopy above them became a roar of rustling leaves and the screeching of the winged serpents as scores of them took flight, painting the air in a serpentine rainbow as they glided from branch to branch. Almost simultaneously, the Kurvians scattered, nearly soaking the landing party with their splashes as they fled into the murky depths.

"What in the hell was that about?" Kirk called over the serpents' chattering, drawing his phaser.

"Something was chasing them," McCoy drew his phaser, that dark chill settling back into his gut. Those snake-bird had been chirping happily all day, they hadn't just took off for no reason. Something scared them, something big enough to scare away the Kurvians.

Subconsciously, he moved closer to Lina, keeping himself between her and the trees despite the fact that she was fully capable of handling her own. Even in the heat of the moment, old habits die hard.

"I think I know what they were trying to show me," Uhura whispered uneasily as her dark eyes darted back and forth, "on the tablets, they kept going back to one depiction of a battle between them and the trees."

"A _battle?_" Kirk sighed though he never took his eyes from the canopy, "you couldn't have mentioned that earlier?"

"I thought it was a historical depiction," Uhura defended haughtily as she drew her own phaser.

"That's why they tried to befriend us," Lina added, effectively shoving her way past McCoy and ignoring the pointed glare he gave her. In her hand, she still had the gold coin that she had picked up earlier. "And why they didn't directly approach us yesterday. These lands aren't theirs anymore, they've been banished to the swamps. Stuck in the water until warriors come from the sky and avenge them."

"How in the hell did you get all of that from a coin?" Leonard raised a brow, momentarily taking his eyes away from the treetops.

"Because I _looked_ at it," Lina took a deep breath and Leonard knew she was itching to swat his shoulder. Instead, she held up the small disk to reveal the engravings that adorned it. On one was a rudimentary depiction of the three suns of Kurva shining down on the ragged waterline. Several stick figures were drawn below the water's surface, their heads turned upwards toward the suns which held five roughly drawn people.

On the flipside the suns were empty, but the rough line that represented the land was filled to the brim with figures, their arms and legs spread in dance save for the five centermost idols.

"Great," he muttered and alternated his glare between Lina and Kirk, "we beamed straight into an ancient turf war."

"The logical course of action would be to beam back to the Enterprise, Captain," Spock's voice remained even though his eyes scanned the canopy with practiced severity. "We are bordering on infringing with the history of a developing nation and are currently in direct violation with the Prime Directive."

Kirk's reply died as the surface of the swamp around them rippled and waved as scores of Kurvians reappeared from the depths and silently made their way onto land. Their previously serene faces were locked in a stern glare as they marched, some carrying bows and others wielding intricate blades all of which they aimed into the canopies, saying nothing. Waiting.

The tallest of them, the one that had first made contact with Lina, moved to stand in front of the Enterprise crew, her face fixed towards the sky and though she couldn't speak with them, it was clear that she was shielding them from a foe that they couldn't see.

"I'd say that playtime's over, Captain," McCoy warned as a blood curdling shriek filled the canopy, one that was returned in full by the Kurvian in front of them.

"We can't just leave them, Bones," Kirk was torn, torn between abandoning people that obviously depended on them and protecting his crew.

No one ever had a chance to reply as the trees suddenly became swarmed with dozens, no, scores of green bodies rapidly descending on all fours, screeching all the while with bared teeth. Some of the attackers, impatient with the descent, leapt into the swarm of waiting Kurvians.

Rough arrows rained upon them, the air filled with the spray of blood and shrieks of those wounded and dying. The attackers swarmed them like flies, the only way to distinguish friend from foe being the vivid emerald flesh and a red frill that crowned their heads.

"Prime directive be damned, fire at anything that attacks!" Kirk called through the madness, an arrow just nearly missing his head as it whizzed by.

"Captain, we must return to the Enterprise."

"Spock's right!" Uhura cried as she fired on one of the berserkers, jumping back as it hit the ground at her feet.

McCoy fired with a steady hand at every frilled-headed bastard he saw, shoving down the inner conflict of killing so freely when he was sworn to heal. This was his crew, his family. He knew their every allergy, their sleeping schedules, their dietary habits, and their aches and pains, and he'd be damned if they met their end in the mud while there was still breath in him. Just to his left he spied Lina, her face hard as she fired with a near frightening precision into the oncoming hoard.

He vaguely registered Kirk calling for Scotty to beam them out of there but he knew it was a lost cause. With so many moving bodies, it would be impossible to lock onto their signatures with the fight raging around.

The very next thing he knew the doctor found himself slammed against the ground with Lina's small form shielding him as she fired over their heads, felling a berserker that had come from behind.

He could have killed her himself, what in the hell did she think she was doing jumping in front of an arrow for him? How in the hell was she supposed to stay safe by shoving him out of harm's way? "Damnit Lina," he swore as he hauled her to her feet, noticing her stance wasn't as steady as it should have been, "are you alright? I could've sworn you promised to be careful. You could've gotten yourself killed!"

"I'm fine; don't even think about whipping your scanner out," she breathed, sounding somewhat winded, "I just landed awkwardly. And you're welcome, by the way."

"Thank you and we'll talk about that later," McCoy grumbled and pulled her to the side so that he had a clear shot on one of the attacking Kurvians. At that point he didn't give a damn if anyone overheard them, not with a turf battle raging around them and Lina trying to play the hero, nearly sacrificing herself in the process. They should've just left it alone, should have just moved on in their travels. Now their lives were on the line, along with dozens more and an entire civilization's history lay altered forever.

Their party stood with their backs together, forming a small circle in the heart of the conflict and effectively covering each other from enemy fire and praying all the while that Scotty would finally lock onto their signals.

Dozens lay fallen around them, from both sides of the fight and the air was heavy with the scent of blood. Screams resounded in their ears, fighting to be heard over their racing hearts as the party continued to defend. No one spoke aloud, unless to make sure the person next to them was alright, but they all shared the same, unspoken hope that the side they fought for was right.

After what seemed like hours, the crew found themselves encircled in the familiar, tingling rings of the transporter and the feeling had never been more welcome to McCoy. The last thing he heard before rematerializing in the transport chamber was the raging, savage victory cry of the Kurvians below. At least they'd won.

"What in the hell was that?" Scotty demanded as soon as the battered crew reappeared in the chamber, "what did you do?"

"We didn't _do_ anything," Kirk retorted, glancing around briefly to ensure that his crew was in one piece. "It was a misunderstanding."

"I'd say that's one hell of a misunderstanding, wouldn't you?"

"It's complicated, Scotty," Kirk sighed, rolling his shoulders to work out the tension. "I'll explain later."

McCoy took a moment to simply stand there and closed his eyes, allowing himself to savor their salvation; he'd never in his life thought that he would be so happy to be aboard a starship. They were safe, his crew was safe, and they were home. No one was trying to hack them to death aboard the Enterprise and that was just beautiful, despite the smell of blood that still assaulted his senses.

"Is everyone okay?" Uhura ventured shakily, needing to affirm that they were safe as mild shock set in. "Everyone alright?"

"We are safe now, Nyota," Spock comforted her gently, actual emotion uncharacteristically leaking into his voice. McCoy pretended not to notice though any other time he would have jumped at the opportunity to call Spock human. Now just wasn't the time.

"Bones, you've been hit!" McCoy's eyes snapped opened as Jim grabbed ahold of him and turned him this way and that, much to the doctor's confusion and annoyance, "are you alright?"

"I didn't get hit," McCoy raised a brow and pushed the captain away, tired with his games, "get your grubby little hands off me."

"You're covered in blood," Jim insisted fervently, refusing to relinquish his hold on McCoy.

"Leonard."

With that one gurgled, raspy word McCoy's whole world came crashing down around him and he whirled around violently, the concerned shouts of Uhura and Kirk falling deaf on his ears when his eyes finally settled on Lina.

She stood on wobbly legs, clutching her ribs with one quivering, blood soaked arm and limply holding her PADD with the other before it clattered to the floor in a small spray of red. Her eyes struggled to focus on him before they finally lolled back in their sockets as blood began to bubble over her pale lips with each shallow, ragged breath. He barely had time to reach her before she collapsed to the floor.

**Ooooooooh, cliffhanger. Ehehehehe.**


	10. Just an Author's Note

This is not a new chapter, sadly, though one will be coming soon.

I'm sorry for my absence and lack of updates on _Baby, No_ during the last month and I thank everyone that has continued to read and follow/favorite the story. I also thank everyone for the wonderful reviews. You guys are amazing and I love you to pieces. Real-life has sort of fallen to pieces for me as of late but things are getting better now and updates shall soon continue to regularly come, hopefully every Tuesday and Fridays. Our literary journey is going to be quite lengthy, so be warned.

Again, thank you all for your support.

Xoxo,

K.


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